Heavy

Gerard had come home with me; it was just us, after Frances came, took a shower and headed back out. Gerard helped me pack a small bag for our little getaway, and I got food and water out for Kruger. I decided to just leave a note for Frances about going on a little holiday with Gerard.

I kissed Kruger's little wet nose, and together, Gerard and I left. We took my car; which had been practically collecting dust in the car park down the street. I let him drive, letting him lead the way.

We had decided to get married at a small chapel in Atlantic City. We wanted to keep quiet, just be together and not be bothered.

Of course, as Gerard drove, I had a swarm of nervous love bugs in my belly. I was anxious, excited and scared. The fearfulness came from the thought of this blowing up in my face. I never doubted Gerard's love for me, I only wondered if we would be together forever. I want our relationship to be one of the greatest love stories never told.

I held his hand as he drove, kissing his knuckles every once in a while. I love the smile he gave me and the way he squeezes my hand. I love the fact that he didn't care about anyone around and would kiss me without a care.

This all felt so damn right.

The feeling sunk deeper in as we got to a small chapel in the middle of the day. My heart pounded, causing me to chew at my lip and my palms grow sweaty.

We entered the funky looking chapel, with the mock doves and the flowers and white pillars. We went to the front desk and were met with a woman.

"How can I help you?" She smiled at us; she had big blond hair and the bluest eyes.

"We want to get married," Gerard spoke, "We want it quick and fast, nothin' fancy."

The woman nodded, "You came to the right place, kids. All you gotta do is sign these legal papers and my husband will marry you."

My smile was wide as we both nodded, and grabbed the pens she handed over. I didn't read over anything, the words at the top: Marriage License was enough to make me speechless. I was really going to do this. I didn't mind that I was going to marry Gerard, not one bit.

Next to his name on the paper, I wrote my own, in cursive. October M. Fredrick. The idea of me becoming October Way sent goosebumps throughout my body and chills across my skin.

I thought; "I'm going to do this. I'm marrying the love of my life."

I was in such a happy state, nothing could break me down. In all my life, no matter how badly I felt release from cutting my skin, I felt more pleasure from this moment than cutting. Even thinking about it made me high in a way that slicing my skin couldn't.

At the small alter, Gerard held both of my hands; he wore a Metallica shirt and sagging blue jeans with his chained wallet. I had cursed myself for not painting my chipped, red nails. I wore black jeans and a white t-shirt, and wedges.

We looked very unconventional to be getting married. We didn't mind, it was our day. We didn't care, we had no one to impress.

The man, Fred, married us in less than 15 minutes. We had exchanged the gold rings we bought from them at the front desk. It was quick and I had been surprised as he went on "...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride, Mr. Way."

Gerard's funny little grin made me smile and my heart flutter. He leant forward kissing me lightly. I tangled my fingers in his hair again, deepening our kiss.

The woman, Barbara, was our only witness and clapped for us. We parted, thanked the owners and took our marriage license back to the hotel with us.

Once we were there, we laid on the bed, quietly. I took his left hand and looked over his gold band with my own. Gerard let out a small sigh, "This means you own me now." He said with his funny grin.

"Well, you own me as well." I told him with an amused tone.

Gerard kissed my head, "This is one of the best days of my life." He declared happily.

"Ditto." I giggled, letting his hand go gently, "Feel my heart."

Gerard turned a bit and put his hand over my chest, "Damn."

"It always beats this fast when I'm with you." I told him quietly, "I'm so happy to be with you. You make me feel good."

He smiled still, kissing my lips, "I love you."

"I love you, too." I placed my lips on his again, "Thank you, too."

"For what?" He asked with a slight confused expression.

"Taking me as I am." I spoke with brutal honesty. Even tears began to swell.

"Hey, October, sugar, don't cry. I fell in love with you, I don't care about the flaws." Gerard had spoke quickly and kissed at my lips.

I nodded, "I know, and that's why I'm thanking you. You could have any of the prettiest girls in the world and you still want me."

"It's the same for me; you're fucking gorgeous, Sugar. And, you picked me, you let me love you and care for you. You didn't mind all that shit I was going through, and you even accepted the fact I would have married someone who didn't even like me." He confessed evenly while brushing the tears from cheeks.

"It's because I love you." I had sucked up my tears, but I continued to let Gerard stroke my cheek gently, "I'll do anything to keep you happy."

He kissed my slowly, after a moment, we parted, "Thank you."

"For what?" I countered with a small smile.

"For coming back to me."

I gave a soft laugh, "I belong to you, Gee."

He pulled me closer placing his lips against my forehead, "I've been waiting for this moment for years."

"I never thought about it at all." I told him, "Not to bite Weezer, but we were good as married in my mind."

He chuckled, "Yeah... Having it official feels amazing though."

I nodded, "Yep."

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, "Your parents still hate me?"

I sighed, "Who cares?"

He kissed me again, showering my face with his soft kisses. This man truly loves me, that's all I felt in the moment. The hairs on my arms stood up, caused by love and excitement.

"I'm so damn in love with you." He spoke quietly, "You're the only woman I want."

I kissed him, "You're the only man I want."

"I can't wait till we have babies..."

I looked down, "I haven't checked yet." I explained, "Will you be okay if it's positive?"

"I'll be ecstatic, Sugar." His funny grin popped up once again.

"And negative?" I asked curiously.

"We should wait. I mean," he licked his lips, "Until you're ready. We don't have to have a baby right away."

I agreed, "Yeah, you're right. I still got to become a stellar fashionista."

He chuckled, "I gotta get my band to the top."

"I'll be right beside you, cheering you on."

"And, I'll be your model if you need one." He joked.

"I'm holding you to it." I warned with a smile.

"I mean it, honey."

I squeezed my arms around him and pressed my cheek to his heart. The soft beating began to pull me into a soft slumber. Gerard moved his hands up and down my back.

"Tell me a story?" I asked childishly.

"A story? Anything particular?" He hummed quietly.

"Tell me what you want the future to contain." I said with a smile.

"Okay," he gave a soft laugh, "I want to travel the world with you... Make wonderful music for a little while... Then, I want to get a house with a black picket fence, filled with joy, happiness, art and little Way babies."

"Hmm... Tell me about them."

He chuckled, "Cute, chubby little things with your pretty eyes and beautiful smile. I want little girls, my own little Octobers."

I smiled, "You're wonderful, Gerard."

"Because of you." He kissed my forehead, "I want to have a big backyard, with a pool and a swing set for our babies..."

As Gerard went on, I started to imagine it. It was such a nice feeling. I knew that it would happen, because anything was possible. I was happy, and I had the greatest love of my life. Nothing could change it.

I made it through with my wrist attached, some scars and lots of lost tears. It was all worth it. It all worked out in the end.