Cold as Ice

I let out a sigh as I covered my eyes with a pair of black wayfarers. A million questions ran through my head while I scanned the area around the Pittsburgh airport. I was waiting for my father, a man that I hadn’t seen in years. Would he hug me? Did I want him to? It would probably be awkward his interaction in my life had always been minimal at best. It mostly just consisted of him sending me presents on my birthday and Christmas. Most had been hockey related; even from another country he had always tried to push me on to the ice. He gave up on my thirteenth birthday though and just started sending money.

The reaction from the people around me was the first sign that my dad had arrived. “Oh my god is that Sidney Crosby?” “What is he doing here?” A few of the braver people stopped him asking for pictures and autographs. He obliged with out a complaint but still looked awkward dealing with the fans. When the group surrounding him disappeared he looked around until he found me.

“Tara, it’s good to see you,” he called out to me. He looked like he was going to go in for a hug once he had walked up to me, but stopped when he saw my response. It wasn’t so much my response as it was my lack of one. When I made no move to hug him back he awkwardly switched to holding his hand out for a handshake.

“Really a handshake, Crosby?” I asked and put my navy duffel bag into his waiting hand instead. I hadn’t needed my dad for the first 18 years of my life, so I was a little skeptical about moving to live with him. I had no other choice though; I didn’t have the funds to support myself while finishing high school. Living with Sidney would allow me to finish school and then next year and then I could go live in Boston. Northeastern was my dream school and it was my plan to enter into the Pharmacy program, if they would take me.

“I know this is awkward, since I haven’t really been a big part in your life before.” It seemed like my dad was planning on having the cliché expected talk, but I cut him offt. I wasn’t interested in going through the motions with him. I doubted we would even be here together if it weren’t for the unfortunate circumstances.

“Let’s be honest Crosby you weren’t really part of my life at all, sending money on my birthday isn’t really parenting.” I didn’t see the point in pretending that I was going to just come here and my dad and me will fall into some father daughter routine.

“Tara…”

“Don’t bother, Crosby I know you never wanted me.” I should have felt something when I said that; anger, sadness, resentment. Instead I felt nothing I was numb. I had grown used to him not being in my life and after the year I had with my mom, I wouldn’t be surprised if I never felt again.

“That’s not true. You’re my daughter of course I wanted you.” When he said that I was already waiting next to the passenger door of his car while he walked around after putting my bag in the trunk.

“Just not as much as you wanted to play hockey, Sidney Crosby’s one and only true love.” I ended my statement with a slam of the door after taking a seat on the cool leather interior of his car. He looked like he wanted to say something as he started the car, but as soon as he did start it I turned on the radio. I felt a slight twinge of appreciation when a rock station came on and immediately turned it up. Crosby however, turned it down after a few minutes and spoke up.

“I’m sorry about this but I don’t have enough time to drop you off before practice. You can just hang out at the rink and we can go out to dinner after,” he offered and I had to admit it wasn’t that tempting to me. “If you want that is?” he said unsurely.

I couldn’t just say no to that, now could I. It was obvious he was trying to make some kind of connection. Sure he wasn’t in my life before, but Sidney was all I had left and he was trying. Dinner wasn’t going to kill me. “Yeah, Crosby that’s fine.”

“Do you think you could call me something other then Crosby?” he said and gave me an uneasy glance. I knew I should be calling him dad but the man was basically a stranger to me. His fan girls probably know more about him than I did.

“Would you prefer me to call you Sid the Kid?”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of dad,” the hesitation was clear in his voice.

“Baby steps, Crosby. Baby steps,” I told him. He seemed appeased for now, or maybe he was just getting mentally prepared for practice. Isn’t that something athletes did? To make up for our recent lull in conversation I turned the radio back up until Sidney had parked the car and we walked into the rink.

He paused before going into the locker room to give me instructions. “Meet me right out here when practice is over and we can head out.” I nodded my head in agreement and he disappeared behind the door.

‘Now what am I supposed to do with myself,’ I wondered. I was left alone to wander the rink. The thought of leaving crossed my mind, but I didn’t have a clue where I would go. The ride from the airport to here didn’t exactly show me enough of Pittsburgh to be able to feel confident going out by myself. Instead I reluctantly stayed and watched practice. It wasn’t the worst thing I could be doing, but it wasn’t my ideal Friday afternoon.

Soon I started zoning out making the time start to disappear. When I noticed the players getting off the ice I started to make my way towards the meeting spot to wait for Sidney. After waiting awhile I leaned against the wall next to the door and slowly slide down until I was sitting on the ground.

Out of pure boredom I checked my phone, but there wasn’t much to see. No missed calls, no new text messages, nobody back home missing me. With everything going on with my mom I just didn’t have a lot of free time. I didn’t care though people grow apart eventually communication stops and friends just move on that was the way the world works.

“Waiting to sneak a peek?” an unfamiliar voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up from the phone I was only pretending to be interested in. The man standing in front of me was undeniably good looking. He was tall and muscular, but the smirk on his face said more about him. It was clear he knew how good he looked and that added to being in the NHL. Those two things just seemed to just be feeding his ego.

“What would I even want to be sneaking a peek at?” I questioned refusing to add to the already high opinion of himself he appeared to have.

“You’re looking at him.” I had to fight to keep from laughing at him right then and there. He couldn’t be serious right now.

“Well somebody has a lot of confidence.” My comment seemed to have no affect on him. I stood up and he moved closer until I spoke again. “For a ginger that is.” I finally let out a laugh as my words sunk in wiping the smirk off his face.

“Yeah and seem like a bit of a bitch to be hanging outside of hockey locker rooms.”

I just raised my eyebrow at him not letting his remarks influence me. “Is that how you get all the girls?”

Before he could shoot back another remark Crosby and another member of the team came out of the locker room. “Tara are you ready to go?” Crosby asked me and I nodded my head to tell him yes. The look on Nick’s face when he found out he had just called Sidney Crosby’s daughter a bitch almost sent me into a fit of hysterics, but I kept my composure.

“She’s with you Crosby? Isn’t she a little young for you?” the blonde man Crosby walked out with asked.

“That’s because she’s my daughter,” Crosby explained before hitting the man on the back of the head. “Jordan, this is my daughter Tara?”

“Nice to meet you?” Jordan said holding his hand out for me to shake.

“Yeah it’s good to know Crosby wasn’t keeping me a secret or anything. Oh wait he did do that didn’t he?”

“You going to give Sid a hard time aren’t you?” he asked hypothetically. I just shrugged my shoulders and he smiled. “I like you. I see you met my cousin Nick?” he told me nodding his head towards the ginger.

“Yes, I did. Crosby are you going to feed me any time soon or not?”

“Yeah let’s head out.” I was ready to get out of there but Crosby paused. “What about you and Nick? Would you like to join us?” Crosby asked Jordan and I rolled my eyes begging him to say no. I didn’t really want to spend more time with Nick right now, or ever really.

“Sure sounds good, Sid.” Jordan replied.