Her Fight For Life

The ceiling was starting to form different shapes in itself for as long as I had been staring at it. I couldn’t look away, yet I didn’t really want to. What else was I going to do? No other normal human being is up at this hour, and I didn’t really feel like sneaking around my own house again. There are only so many times you can accidently wake your parents up before they just get irritated with you instead of worried that some asshole is trying to break into the house. I’d actually prefer that than just the consuming silence I endure every night. Sometimes, I just—

“Tammy, are you still awake?” Collin whispered panicky through the crack of my door. Oh great, another nightmare. That makes four this week.

“You know I am Collin, come on in,” I whispered back gently as I scooted over in my bed.
Collin is my little brother, except he’s not like everyone else’s little brother. Most of the people I know either really hate their little brother, or they act like they’re responsible for everything about their sibling. I’m not like that. Now, don’t immediately assume that I hate Collin and that I don’t care for him. I do, it’s just… most of the time I don’t have to. He’s only six, but if I was on his bad side, I’d be scared shitless. Collin isn’t any normal six year old. The kid can sense other world-like objects and sometimes predict what will happen; hence, the nightmares.

Collin silent and ghost-like padded up to my bed and quickly crawled into my bed grasping for my arm. I reached for him and pulled him up close to me so I could wrap my arms around him.

“The dreams aren’t changing any Tammy. It keeps replaying over and over,” Collin sighed. He reached for my hand, and I let him take it.

“Maybe they aren’t changing because you won’t let them, eh? You control your dreams sweetie,” I whispered. He and I both knew it wasn’t true, but it was something our mom used to say to me when I was his age. The only difference, my dreams weren’t the future. I could feel him relaxing and his breathing was starting to become normal.

“I wish I wasn’t ever born with this,” Collin whispered as he started dozing off.

“Me too buddy, me too,” I whispered back under my breath as I gently brushed his hair out of his face.

I honestly don’t know what I would ever do without that little boy in my life. He’s the one person that I can put my whole trust into and expect it back. He doesn’t lie to me unless he’s the one that spilled the juice, he never ignores me unless it’s bath time, and he always tells me he loves me. It doesn’t matter that he’s a little extra gifted; Collin is my baby brother, and I would kill anyone who would ever tried to harm him.

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Last night, while Collin was sleeping next to me, I actually slept for the first time in a week. Collin might be gifted, but I’m cursed. I suffer from insomnia, and it seems to worsen as the more stress I am placed under. Our mom usually goes into Collin’s room to wake him up for breakfast, but she knows where he goes when the nightmares have been bad. I could hear her light footsteps coming towards my door.

-Knock, knock-

“Tammy dear, wake your brother up. We have to run errands today. School starts next week. I don’t want my big senior girl showing up to class unprepared,” Mom lightly sang. I just groaned.

If there was one place I hated to be, it was definitely my high school. I pushed the thought of hell out of my head, and looked at Collin. The poor kid knew somewhat what I went through every day of my life. When his nightmares kept him up, he’d just look at me like he knew. The exhaustion, the guilt, the hiding, all of it just piled up for days on end until your body finally just has enough and shuts down. I didn’t want to wake him up; he looked so peaceful. I knew if I didn’t, Mom would just come right back.

“Collin, Collin, Collin, time to rise and shine!” I lightly said while shaking him slightly.

He made a disgruntled face and then opened his bright blue eyes wide open and just stared at me. I kind of just held my breath because I wasn’t for sure what he was thinking or what he was going to say. Just as I was about to take a breath, he smiled a big toothy grin and I exhaled in relief. He made it through the night without any bad dreams.

“Good morning sissy. How did you sleep?” he innocently asked me while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I just rolled my eyes and tousled his hair.

“Good enough for both of us to hurry up and get dressed before Mom comes back up here and gets onto both of us,” I told him while trying to scoot him out of the bed.

“Tammy! Are the two of you getting up and around?” Mom yelled up the stairs. I rolled my eyes and looked at Collin while making a gun out of my fingers and pretending to shoot myself in the head.

“Yes Mom! We’re both getting dressed. We’ll be right down!” I yelled back. Collin just giggled and walked out of my room to go get ready.

The only way my mother is getting to me go willingly without any kind of fight, is if she lets Angie go. Angie is my best friend, and there is no way I could survive high school without her. I checked the clock and figured I didn’t have time for a quick shower so I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and quickly brushed them. I raked the comb through my hair and just threw on jeans and some random band t-shirt. I grabbed my converses and walked out pulling my bedroom door shut behind me.

“Come on Collin, or she’s going to start breathing fire,” I hollered down the hall to his room.

“I heard that Tammy Anne!” Mom yelled up the stairs. I just giggled and met her at the bottom on the steps and kissed her on the cheek.

“All in fun and game mother dear,” I said while smiling innocently. She gave me one of her famous looks and turned around and walked over to the counter to get her purse. Collin came barreling down the stairs and smacked right into my backside.

“Woah there speed-racer, calm down,” I huffed out. A look of disturbance crossed his face as quickly as it had appeared and he grabbed my hand and pulled towards Mom.

"Mom, I already called Angie. She said she would meet us at the mall. You know I can't go anywhere without her," I informed her as Collin dragged me along behind him.

"I don't care if Betty White goes, I just want to get your supplies and get you ready for your big year. I like Angie, and as long as she isn't late I won't have a problem," Mom stated while digging for the van keys.

I just nodded my head and quickly texted with the hand that wasn't being yanked off by a six year old and let Angie know that it was okay that she met me there.

“Alright children, I expect you to be on your best behavior. If you do what I say, I’ll buy you ice-cream,” Mom said sternly looking mostly at Collin and barely at me. I’m the eighteen-year old; I know how to keep my hands to myself. Collin nodded his head and Mom seemed satisfied with our answers. She locked the door behind us, and we were on our way.