Comic Boys

I knew I had lost once I saw them roll up beside Jaimie and I holding hands. I knew that whilst I was dead asleep, slowly pushing the jet lag out of my system that Jekyll had weaved his way into London's heart, capturing it, marking it, stealing it. And it hurt. It hurt so bad, but I couldn't bare to show it on my face, not even when London had murmured a sorrowful "I'm sorry. I... It's Jekyll," in my ear, his words choking me. I could only produce a nod, one jerky movement.

"I'm so sorry, Easton," London whispered, as Jeremy loitered about fifteen metres away from us, eyeing us carefully though his gaze wasn't patronising or amused. His eyes were as grave as if someone had just died, a sad frown etched onto his face. His eyes met mine, his lips, which had touched London's in a moment of passion, mouthed "Sorry, Daniel. I'm not going to let him go." I nodded once again, a sick feeling crawling up my spine as London crushed me into a hug, the scent of his shampoo attacking me as his thin body pressed against mine, as close as he has ever been. The thought stung- after this moment, I couldn't hug this body, this boy I was so deeply in love with, whenever I wanted to. It wasn't my body to love, to make love to. This body which had been given the name London was so close yet so far away from me, and all I wanted to do was squeeze him half to death and escape with him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," London babbled, crying into the curve of my neck, his arms trembling around me.

"You had to choose sometime, London," I replied, my voice strangely cold, course and unfamiliarly cruel. London just bawled more as I pried him off me, swallowing my hurt and pain as I wiped his tears with a small handkerchief, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket. "I hope you don't cry any more. If you don't then you made the right decision."

"Is that it? Is that a-all you're going to s-say? We can still be f-friends, Easton," London cried as I turned, clenching my fists. I whirled around, clamping my hands on his shoulders before smashing my lips to his. He didn't kiss me back, but I knew he wouldn't. I wasn't the one he wanted to kiss.

"Friends don't hurt each other like this," I choked, before gently pushing him away to grab a distressed, shocked and worried Jaimie by the arm, hailing a taxi before London or Jeremy could chase after us.

The trip was silent, Jaimie just watching me as I was left with my torn thoughts.

My ideal of a romantic getaway with London in London was shattered, just like that. No sightseeing with him, laughing with him, kissing him over and over until we were both sick of it. Everything that I had ever dreamed of happening had run away from me, slipping out from under my nose. Jaimie couldn't console me- no one could. My heart, as cheesy as it sounds, was broken. But what was worse still was the fact that I still loved London. I loved him like he were the last person on earth, and without him, I was equated down to nothing.

I'm tired of being nothing to people.



Jaimie groaned, slapping my face before turning off the computer forcibly, the screen blinking black as I just stared at the void space, my almost booked tickets back home lost to me. I guess I had to start again now.

"Okay, snap out of it, Danny. Sure, your almost-boyfriend just chose another guy, but that doesn't mean you should give up on him! Be a man, Dan! If you really loved London then you wouldn't give up like this," Jaimie said, her voice softening as she hugged me tightly, frowning. "I don't like seeing you so upset. You've never been this upset."

"It's because I've never lost anything before," I replied tiredly, the image of London and Jeremy laughing together as they shared a quick kiss invading my mind, making my stomach knot as anxiety travelled up my arm. "And I do love London, and that's why I'm walking away. He's happy. I don't want to ruin that."

"But you're not happy," Jaimie continued, pulling me up to make me look her in the eye.

"But London's happy. That's all that matters," I strained, turning my eyes away from hers. Her gaze just got to me and I knew she saw past my stoic mask. She knew how much I was hurting, how I was just destroyed and in tatters on the inside. The way she looked at me made me want to cry. She forced me to think about everything that had just passed and it scared me. I was terrified like a child lost in the dark without their mother, without that person who supported them and gave them a reason to keep walking forward. London was that person- he gave me dull life some colour, something to laugh about, something to love. I had never been truly happy until I met him. He just had this power over me that made my every day light up, and now that light was getting smaller and smaller, being sucked away from me and I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

"Yes, London may be happy, but there's no point if you're not happy too, Danny," Jaimie said, pinching my cheeks as she pulled them into a stiff smile. "London wouldn't want you to be so upset. He may not be your boyfriend, but he is your best friend."

"So you're friend-zoning me now, are you, Jaimie?" I asked,cracking a half-hearted smile as a few tears slipped off the edge of my lashes, Jaimie's eyes widening as I buried my head in the crook of her neck, biting my lip as I tried not to gasp out broken sobs, my lungs closing up and my heart slamming into my ribcage as I just silently cried for what seemed to be a minute more than an eternity. "But London and I... we can hardly classify as friends any more."

Jaimie scoffed before knocking her forehead into mine. "Come on, you big baby. If we leave it would be a waste of our time and money, and besides, this hotel has an awesome range of movies. Let's just duck down to the supermarket downstairs and grab some ice cream and chocolate so you can devour your feelings and have a girls night in!"

"Girls night in?" I asked, wiping my eyes as I grimaced at her. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm no girl."

"Right now you are," she said simply, throwing me the movie guide. "You're like a girl who can't get over the boy that broke her heart."