I Come Alive

Joshua could hardly hear himself over the crinkling of paper that filled the tense air as he fiddled with the class schedule that was crushed between his frail fingers. His head was pounding from the adrenaline that filled every vein in his body. He noted his breathing was uneven, but no matter how much he tried to calm himself, something seemed to be constricting his lungs. Joshua knew it was his own mind toying with him, yet he couldn't manage his anxiety as he hoped he would.

After easily slipping out of the car with his light backpack over his shoulder, Joshua somehow managed to avoid the gazes from the many students standing outside of the large school buildings.

At first, he could hear only whispers, gentle conversation about "who the new kid was." Joshua kept his eyes locked on the floor while the general chatter arose before one student worked up either enough courage to call out his name.

"Hey." The same voice said after Joshua turned slightly. He still couldn't see the teen calling his name, and he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to. The voice had a dark tone to it, along with a gruff brogue accent. Joshua was scared enough, but to be called out by a person with that kind of voice just made his fingers tremble.

"You're Joshua Seydrin, right?" The voice was louder, accompanied by a few whispers and giggles from female students. Joshua faced the stranger, only daring to glance up at him a few times. The young teen looked no older than 17, and his eyes were a deep blue, contrasting with his flaming ruby hair and pale skin. He towered over Joshua's meager figure, though it could be a result of the dark boots he wore that gave him a few extra inches in height.

Strangely, he seemed familiar to Joshua. His broad figure was similar to Beau's in that it was toned with muscles, yet it didn't seem to be overwhelmingly muscled. The stranger smiled, giving that ominous tone of coolness that Beau seemed to carry with him all the time. He studied Joshua with curious eyes. One of the many repercussions of escaping the Capital was that everybody knew Joshua's name, age, height, weight, eye color, hair color and any other thing under the sun about him, and yet he knew nothing about other people.

Joshua gave a slow nod to the stranger, though his movements were awfully rigid. He didn't even realize he had his hand balled into a fist at his side while his nails deep into his clammy palms.

The audience around them had dispersed, leaving only the tall stranger and Joshua. The stranger shifted and Joshua took a step back. His renewed paranoia had taken over and his defenses were high now that Beau wasn't around.

" M'name's Ville." The teenage boy said. Joshua kept his distance as the tall figure moved towards him, though it wasn't until the boy reached a hand to him that Joshua stopped. Around the boy's wrist and across each finger were tattoos. Beau had few. They were still highly respected in Abionmaton for reasons Joshua couldn't name. Joshua figured if this teenager had them, he couldn't have been entirely bad. His family had to have earned their part in the community for him to have the privilege to ink his body. So Joshua managed to unclench his fist and gently reach it out to the stranger.

"I'm not some brute, if that's what you're thinkin'." Ville said as his warm fingers curled around Joshua's clammy hand. He gently shook, proving his next point. "I know I look the part, but I'm not that bad."

Joshua nodded.

"Well, since you won't bother to introduce yourself, I'm gonna call you 'Bambi' from now on, even though I know your name. You won't bother to say it anyways. Besides, you remind me of that animal from the old book. It was about a—"

"Deer." Joshua said quietly. "I-I know the story."

"He speaks." Ville remarked. The corners of his lips twitched, tugging up into a triumphant smirk. "Nice to know you have a voice. At least the Capital didn't steal that from you too."

Joshua furrowed his brows together in confusion staring at Ville's ruby locks of hair.

"Consider me your ally." Ville moved away from his last point. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, nodding once at Joshua. "You don't have to like me, you don't have to act like my best friend, but consider me one of your best resources around here."

Joshua tilted his head, encouraging Ville to go on. But Ville, instead of expanding like Joshua had hoped, simply smiled again as the bell rang, trailing his eyes over in the general direction of the school.

"You better get to class, Bambi. Don't wanna be late on your first day." He said as he walked away with a bit of pep to his step. Joshua's eyes widened as he realized he had no idea where the classes were, either from being dazed or just not familiar. Joshua ran next to Ville's side, tapping his shoulder with an awkward crane of the neck so he could see into his deep blue eyes. Ville looked down.

"Where's humanities class?" Joshua squeaked. Ville laughed.

"Whatdya know, we got our first period together. Follow me. You'll make it, Bambi."



Ville did say Joshua never had to be friend or even be interested in him, but Joshua had taken a warm liking to Ville. Plenty of people nodded at Ville as he walked through the halls, but few did speak to him other than the occasional 'hello'. Joshua seemed to be the only one who bothered to actually speak to him. Joshua mentioned it as they walked out of the front doors of the school, as the day had winded down to an end.

"I never really noticed that, Bambi...." Ville said, pulling his jacket over his arms as the wind acted up outside. "The kids in this school are all screwy anyways, I don't think I would talk to them even if they wanted to."

"But everybody nods at you, and they move out of your way when you're walking, and—"

"They do that when you're walking down the hall too." He said. "You can't tell me ya didn't notice how they all moved out of the way at lunch." Joshua shook his head quickly, and Ville scoffed quiet. "Or when you were trying to get into history and they all let you through by stepping aside and shit."

Joshua opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut his mouth as he realized Ville was completely right. Though none of the teachers or the students had really pointed out Joshua to create a scene, they did do subtle things that Joshua hadn't noted during the entire day.

For example, when Joshua's pencil rolled off of his desk, a girl picked it up before Joshua even noticed it was on the ground. Then they moved out of his way when the halls were so obviously crowded with people. The teachers would ask for the answer to a question, and Joshua raised his hand. All the others with raised hands dropped them. Joshua really thought about the day he had, and he figured that it seemed so easy because others were helping him the entire time! Had the day breezed by because other people were being courteous of him?

"Tell me you noticed that." Ville said quickly. "How could you not?"

"I-I.... yeah...." Joshua said quietly. "They did, didn't they?"

"This school doesn't have much of a voice." Ville said. "We're really quiet, and we obey a lot. Well, most of us." Ville winked at Joshua, smiling while chewing on a piece of bright purple bubblegum. "To put it simple, it's like if someone says 'jump', we say 'how high?' We just go with the, y'know, general consensus."

"But not you." Joshua said. It was so obvious Ville was different than everyone else, especially attitude wise.

"Not me." Ville laughed. His calming blue eyes revealed more to his personality that Joshua wanted to know about.

"Joshua." Finally came a voice that Joshua had been longing to hear all day. Joshua looked away from Ville's eyes to find Beau standing in front of a black car with his back pressed against it. He smiled at Joshua, though it quickly disappeared as his eyes traveled over to the tall figure at his side. Ville studied Beau in the same way he studied Joshua during their first confrontation, and when their eyes locked, something happened that didn't look very positive from Joshua's view.

"Beau!" Joshua said as he sped his pace up a little and wrapped his arms around Beau's shoulders. He dropped his backpack at his side, turning slightly so he could stand between Ville and Beau. His figure was awkwardly short between the both of them, but he still piped up now that his confidence had came back along with Beau's presence. "Erm, Beau, this is Ville. Ville, this is—"

"Beau." Ville said. Beau's eyes didn't look very welcoming, even as Ville looked into his with the deep blue eyes he had. Joshua couldn't describe the tension between them now, and he couldn't understand what it had came from either. Beau pushed himself off of the car, snaking his arm around Joshua's waist with a protective glance down at him. Joshua guessed that when Ville smirked and winked his eye, it didn't soothe the tension between them either.

Ville reached his hand out to Beau, showing the dark tattoos that curled around his fingers. Beau glanced at his hand, his nose twitching ever so faintly with a sneer. Beau pulled his hand out of his pocket and hesitantly locked it together with Ville's.

"Charmed." Ville's voice was considerably brutish compared to Beau's which Joshua was so used to. Beau gave a quiet grunt in response and the nod of his head. He jerked his hand away from Ville's, stuffing it into his pocket without a second thought. Ville looked down at Joshua, and Joshua shrugged.

"Well, it's been nice playing the silent game, but I got homework to do." Ville said to Beau in particular. Then he turned his attention to Joshua. "Catch ya later, Bambi."

Joshua waved at Ville, watching him start down the sidewalk with his flaming red hair and swagger that Joshua had learned to love in only a day's time.

"Is he your friend?" Beau asked. Joshua furrowed his brows, especially because of the way Beau said 'friend' as though it were a bad thing. Beau stared down at Joshua with intimidating eyes. Though he absolutely loved Joshua, he had his own reasons for not being too fond of that particular teen.

"Yes." Joshua said. "He's my friend."

"Why?" Beau replied quickly.

"What do you mean, 'why?' He was nice to me...." Joshua said quietly, twiddling his fingers stupidly at his waist. Beau murmured quietly to himself, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"You could make friends with anyone in this entire school, and it had to be that kid." He grumbled to himself, looking where Ville still walked down the sidewalk. His hair was obviously visible against the blue colors of each building throughout the streets.

"Beau? What's wrong?" Joshua asked, suddenly worried by the reaction his love had to the new friend he had made. "Beau?"

Beau shook his head, almost as though shaking his mind free of any thought of Ville. He smiled at Joshua, picking up the now heavy backpack filled with a math book, two books of poetry and a few papers of history. Beau groaned quietly.

"Jeez, I never remembered having this much homework."

Joshua's face flushed slightly.

"I-I checked out two of the books from the library, so that's why its heavy...."

"You're so cute." Beau gave a laugh.

Joshua leaned in to press a kiss to Beau's cheek, earning a noticeable cooing from a group that had crowded around them without them noticing. Beau's face was particularly warm today, hotter than usual.

"Your face....." Joshua pulled away, pressing the back of his hand to Beau's cheeks. He had a habit of being too worried for Beau's well being, especially with all the medication he took. The Capital had guaranteed that it was the best medication they had developed, promising to relieve any and all pain he had in a matter of minutes, but there were obvious side effects that Joshua never took a liking to. One of the medications in particular even had a possible side effect of 'death', and Joshua had never liked to dose Beau with said medication.

"I know, it's pretty ugly, huh?" Beau laughed quietly. Joshua rolled his eyes with a slight giggle.

"Beau, you're so warm." His fingers trailed down the sides of Beau's arms, his flesh burning. "Beau, it's not just warm. You're on fire."

"I've been like that all day, Joshua. It's fine."

Joshua clicked his tongue slightly, doubting whether Beau was truly okay. His eyes even said he doubted it, urging Beau to press his lips to Joshua's nose. Even Beau's lips were hot, making Joshua feel slightly squeamish.

Beau opened the door to the car, silently urging Joshua to sit down. Joshua reluctantly sat down, remembering that in the morning, Joshua had told Beau he wanted to walk home after school. Why was Beau just waiting there?

But Joshua had always trusted his mate, and if Beau didn't mention it first thing, it probably wasn't too important. Instead Joshua scooted next to Beau's side, pressing his head against Beau's warm chest. Beau's soft hand reached around his shoulders and held Joshua in his spot with a smile on his face. Though Beau acted like there was nothing wrong, the thought of Ethylon needing to see Beau as soon as possible was obviously troubling. The only thing Beau feared was that there would be something wrong with Joshua.



The Capital was buzzing with people, as usual. Their fashion had changed from its usual strange colors to a new, calmer type of prada. The shirts were tight, and their pants really left nothing to the imagination, but the strangest of their fashion was the barefoot style they had taken on. Not one of them had any shoes or socks on except for Joshua and Beau. The Capital's fashion never took place in any of the other districts, except for District 1 and sometimes District 2. Any district past that was not very interested in those superficial things.

"I'm afraid I'm going to step on their toes." Joshua giggled. He had his head pressed against Beau's side, keeping himself warm from the unusually chilly breeze that curled around their bodies. Beau didn't bother to say anything but give a small laugh that didn't even warm Joshua's heart. There was something wrong, something picking at Beau's brain, but Beau wouldn't explain what it was. Even when Joshua flat out asked what was happening and where they were going, Beau just chewed on his bottom lip and said "To see Rowan." Sure, he did explain who they were seeing, but seeing Rowan could have meant a number of things.

"Beau?" Joshua said. Beau grunted quietly. "Can I see Jaydin this time?"

Beau sort of jumped at the sound of the name that they hardly mentioned, mostly because the name induced terrible memories neither of them really liked to relive. Joshua remembered the moment when Leighlan told them that he would be staying with Jaydin because she was in a deep coma, and he would never leave her alone. It was heartbreaking, especially for Joshua who had taken a quick liking to Leighlan and Jaydin.

After Joshua had recovered after being transferred from body to body, they searched for Leighlan in the Capital building. None of the sailors could find him, yet they managed to find a note on Jaydin's bed that didn't explain much. The numbers '012-009-688'. Jaydin was stable, though barely hanging on, and Joshua doubted if she would wake up. He had heard a tale that the comatose can still process sounds and sensations even though they cannot interact. Joshua just liked to visit Jaydin every now and then and say hello. Beau hadn't allowed him to do so in a few months though.

"I don't think that'd be good tonight, Joshua." Beau said. Joshua pouted quietly, turning his gaze to the ground. "I'm just thinking about you...."

Joshua glanced up at Beau.

"Are you just thinking of me when you say you don't like my friendship with Ville too?"

Beau sighed.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then let me understand." Joshua replied quickly. Beau bit his tongue, but nodded. The gesture seemed very weak though, like he didn't mean it. Joshua knew Beau was hiding something, and his earlier encounter with Ville had proved it as well. Why had Beau disliked him so much? He even said Joshua picked one of the worst people t become friends with, but never a reason why. Beau had been avoiding giving a reason why.

"We're here." Beau mumbled. Solar sailors guarded the front of the Capital building, stepping aside as Joshua and Beau started down the glass path in awkward silence. Nothing was said after their small banter, mostly because Joshua was confused. Had he done something wrong? Had he made Beau mad? Whatever the reason for Beau's sudden shyness, it had silenced any hopes for conversation. Beau even thought the silence would do them some good.