I Come Alive

When Joshua was young, he would play rough games with his older brother and his many younger brothers in their backyard. They would be playing tag and Joshua wouldn't be watching where he was going. He fell into a hole and hit the ground, knocking the breath right out of his body and pain traveled through his nerves, an overwhelming sensation of burning taking control of his senses. That same pain was rushing through Joshua's heart at the time being, especially after what he had done that day to hurt Beau so.

Hours passed before the front door opened and the many voices downstairs departed, though the loudness was subdued. The door slammed shut and then Joshua could hear Beau cussing loudly downstairs. Tempted to walk down and coax him into calmness, Joshua then remembered what he had done, so perhaps comfort from him wouldn't be the best idea at the moment.

Joshua laid down on the bed, pulling the blanket up to his cheeks. He was tired from the day he had been through, but he couldn't fall asleep before Beau came up. He just couldn't.

"Please." Joshua whispered to no one in particular, but hoped Beau would hear his pleads for forgiveness. There was no gaging response except for Beau's loud yells of anger.

Not until another hour passed did Beau bother to walk up the stairs, and his footsteps were light, unlike before when he stomped wherever he walked. The doorknob jiggled before Beau threw it open and walked towards the dresser. It was too late to worry about the case, he thought, and he just wanted to fall asleep. But Joshua was right there, and they would have to speak sooner or later. He didn't know which one was better.

Joshua pushed himself off of the bed and sat cross-legged on the bed, watching as Beau slipped out of his jeans and pulled on a loose pair of sweatpants.

"Hey." Joshua said while Beau lit a candle. He liked candlelight more than flashlights. Candlelight gave light and warmth to the room around it, while a flashlight was just a torch trapped inside a plastic casing. He lit another and placed it on the table next to the bed. Their room was half lit, so Beau decided to grab another and light it before he set it down on the windowsill on the other side of the room.

Beau acknowledged Joshua with a quiet grunt, though he didn't bother to even look at his mate. The guilt was killing Joshua, and Beau must have known that. That was why he was dragging it out; to teach his mate a lesson.

"Beau." Joshua said with a hint of a whimper. "Please sit down with me."

"Why should I?" Beau snapped with anger dripping in his voice. He had always been temperamental, though he tried his hardest to keep it contained, especially around Joshua. His mate was obviously just as human as he was.

"So we can talk." Joshua's voice was pleading, desperately thinking Beau would forgive him for making the wrong choices. The alcohol had even been subdued from earlier, now only a pounding headache and a rough stomach ache remained. "Please. I'm begging you."

Beau glanced at Joshua before plopping down on the bed with his arms crossed.

"Can you look at me?" Joshua pushed himself on his knees, leaning forward. "I want to see your eyes."

Beau moved his chin up and glared at Joshua. Joshua sat back, sighing gently and twiddling his fingers together. Beau looked away. He couldn't find it in himself to look into Joshua's freckled face and glasz eyes, and still manage to be angry.

"It's my fault." Joshua muttered. Beau shook his head. He could hardly keep himself angry at Joshua anymore, and everything he was thinking about through the day came spilling out.

"I didn't mean to yell at you." Beau said. "I was just so frustrated, and I-I really wanted to catch this stupid hacker. But then we missed him, and he got into our files, and I couldn't— I just couldn't—" Beau's words became tangled and useless. The more he spoke, the less he could figure out what he truly wanted to say.

"I never should have ditched classes." Joshua leaned forward, gently caressing the side of Beau's face. "It was stupid. Especially ditching and drinking." Beau laughed to himself, remembering the time he had first tried alcohol. He ended up throwing up most of his dinner after doing so, and it gave him a terrible migraine that made him sensitive to the littlest of light and sound.

"How's that going for ya?" Beau asked. Joshua shook his head slowly.

"My head and my stomach...."

"Ah." Beau said. "How much did you have to drink?"

"Three glasses...." Joshua said hesitantly, hoping Beau wouldn't get angry at how much hard liquor he had drank. His haste had the best of him, and he had yet to be used to the effects of the alcohol. "When did you get home?" Joshua squeaked.

"Five-ish." Beau said. "Your professor called around there. He told me you weren't in class all day. I flipped. But I didn't have any time to go searching for you, especially when I didn't have any idea where you went. I had to start looking for this hacker, looking through some of my linux files and then a bit of the Capital files..." Beau gave a quick pause, shaking his head in utter frustration. His computer had lost its powerful firewall since he had also lost his previous bots.

"Then the hacker, he caught me. I tried stopping him, but he kept breaking through my files. I called Rowan before he could completely get into the Capital's power source through my history, but he had already shut down most of the districts' power. We couldn't do anything, not even use the generators because he had disabled everything. Our own generator was running on fumes. We're lucky we even had enough power to keep some of the computers going." Beau frowned. "And Ethylon wasn't here to help us. Apparently he had business in District 4, something about visiting the Battalion building. He was of no help at all."

Joshua intertwined his fingers with Beau's, rubbing his thumb against his mate's fingers with nothing said between them during those few seconds.

"We've barely started the case and I already want it to be over." Beau said, mentally scolding himself. He's the one who accepted the case. It's his responsibility.

"I'm sorry."

"And I was so worried about you. I thought some sailors took you, because your professor said most sailors pick up the kids that ditch. I was yelling at the sailors and telling them to find you when they told they didn't have you in custody." Beau shook his head. "I was really... upset. And I feel so stupid now because I didn't even g-go looking for you. I came home and I hopped on the computer. That's not even like me...."

"I never should've ditched. It was a two-second decision. I'm not going to do it again." Joshua's voice was urgent and desperate for forgiveness.

"You can ditch class, just not everyday.... And please, tell me what you're doing and who you're with so I don't worry when you do ditch." Beau said. "I know it sounds like I'm saying two different things at once, but I'm really worried that someone might s-steal you from me if you don't tell me where you are." His voice caught at the end of his sentence. "I don't want somebody to steal you away."

"And they won't." Joshua scooted closer to Beau's side, placing his hands upon Beau's warm hands. Their fingers intertwined together, figuratively dancing together in a silent prayer to love. Joshua gently ran his fingernails along Beau's wrists, ignoring the fire in Beau's blood that made his skin tingle. Instead he smiled gently. "I really am sorry."

"I know." Beau murmured. He swiped some of his hair away from his face, earning a simple giggle from Joshua. "I wish I could shower." Beau said with a yawn. "We don't even know when the generators are gonna be up again. It might be another day or something...."

Joshua looked outside of the window as the weather outside came back to mind. It was nearing midnight, and it was drizzling. He glanced at the darkened skies and pouring rain, and for the first time ever, Joshua saw the stars.

Each district always had street lights on every corner to promote safety among the communities, which was effective, but it took away from their glorious night view. It had been decades since anybody had seen the stars, so they were usually forgotten. But not tonight. Tonight was a special night. While some spoiled families were left in anger without their precious electricity, many of those in different districts were given hope. The sign of the stars was not only one of rebellion, but of a future. Little things like that meant so much more to people who had nothing.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Beau whispered. Joshua turned his head to find Beau's eyes gleaming with the blue starlight spilling through the windows. "I've never seen them before. I mean, in old movies, but the characters always lived in countrysides where there weren't any lights and stuff. I thought the stars were made up."

"Beau. Let's go outside." Joshua slipped off of the bed and took Beau's hand in his own. He pulled him off of the bed and gently tugged him in the direction of the door. Beau furrowed his brows together, giving Joshua a look of confusion while his mate led him down the stairs. It wasn't until they reached the bottom of the stairs that Beau did bother to say anything.

Joshua giggled before slipping one of his hands away from Beau's and opening the front door. Flashes of lightning danced across the sky, sending subliminal messages through the stars. Some considered such weather an omen. For the night, Joshua and Beau would consider it a blessing

Slowly, with one step after the other, Joshua crept into the heavy rain. It began to soak his clothes first, making the bright tones of his shirt seem darker. The rain seeped into every strand of hair on his head and slowly made its way down his legs. Goosebumps grew on his arms, and his jeans were completely covered with water in a matter of seconds. Beau was in awe over how beautiful his mate really looked, dancing with the raindrops that fell across the long paved roads. Joshua took another step back, and he held a hand out for Beau.

"Are you coming?" He asked through thunder that was building up within the gray clouds.

"You're crazy!" Beau shouted. Joshua rolled his eyes, and in that split second, Beau sprinted to his side and wrapped his arms around Joshua's body. Joshua squeaked quietly, standing in their silence as the rain drizzled down Beau's chest. The usual warm radiance to Beau's skin had been replaced with chills making their way up and down his spine, and goosebumps cascading his arms.

The storm was all they could really listen to, and they watched as white puffs of steam slipped past their quivering lips. Beau pushed Joshua's sopping hair out of his eyes. While running his fingers through Joshua's hair, Beau leaned in, but hesitated. He pulled his face back an inch and then pressed his lips to his mate's cheek instead. Joshua gave a gentle sigh of disappointment, but did the same in return. Beau's lips left a bit of warmth as his body temperature had cooled but was still above normal. Joshua's lips were cold, and they did nothing more but leave an outline of a kiss on Beau's cheek before being washed away with the rain.

"We should probably get inside. I don't want you to be sick."

"Just a minute more, Beau." Joshua said, but Beau gave him that look— the one that said, "You're pushing it,"— and shook his head. "Please? Please?" Joshua dragged out his words, sticking out his bottom lip in a whimpering beg. Beau looked away, staring at the strange dark skies.

"Fine." Beau mumbled. Joshua smiled, resting his head against Beau's chest with a quick sigh. Beau figured another minute would make no difference in the freezing rain. They would get sick whether they stayed outside or not.

From the distance, there came a deep thundering. Beau clicked his tongue slightly.

"Joshua, we need to get in now. You're shaking, and I think it's gonna start hailing."

Joshua nodded, pulling his head off of Beau's chest. "Okay." He said dejectedly. Joshua gave the sky another look as he knew he had to be inside soon. He studied the peaceful distance that was Abionmaton, hoping each district was functioning just fine without the power. But they were not functioning "just fine." Through the districts came a bright flickering. It wasn't a flickering like lights and power being reactivated, but had the shifty movements as a fire blowing in the wind.

"Beau!" Joshua exclaimed under his breath. "Look!" He pointed at the distance. Beau spun his body around slowly, expecting to see Joshua pointing at another star, or perhaps some lightning, but instead, Joshua pointed at an unknown flickering in the sky. The flickering in the distance grew. It traveled to other parts of the darkest sky, lapping at something that stood in midair, which Beau figured to be a building, or something along the lines of that. Was that a building on fire?

"What the hell?" Beau mumbled. "What is that?"

"A fire." Joshua replied quickly. "How is there a fire? Can't the monsoons get rid of it or something?" Joshua said. "Isn't the rain gonna make the fire die out? It looks like it's on a building. Is a building on fire?"

"Take a breath, Joshua." Beau retorted hastily. "The storm should control it some.... unless it's a gas fire," Beau said, "started from the inside of the building."

Joshua chewed on his bottom lip, locking his arm together with Beau's.

"Wait a minute...." Beau murmured. He glanced at his surroundings, saying things Joshua couldn't even comprehend. His eyes widened when he came back to the sight of the fire. "That's District 4." Beau said. Then his voice became more urgent. "Joshua, that's District 4." He paused, pushing his hair away from his face. "Ethylon's in District 4. Ethylon's in the Battalion building."

"Beau, you don't...." Joshua trailed off, not able to finish the sentence himself. He already knew what was possibly happening if Ethylon was actually in the smoldering Battalion building.

Beau's muscles then became rigid when the thought of Ethylon surrounded by fire and suffocating clouds of ash came to mind. Ethylon must have been in trouble, especially if he was in the higher levels of the building. Could he reach the bottom? Was Lejend with him? Beau stared at the distance in pure confusion and a desperate cloud over his eyes. Then a thought burst through his mind like a bull in a china shop, shattering every other possibility and any ounce of hope he had for Ethylon's safety.

Was Ethylon even the victim?