I Come Alive

"Y'know Joshua, you can be a real jerk sometimes."

"You're not an angel either."

"But you don't know when to stop anymore. You get influenced by all these- these idiots at school, and then you come home and you don't listen to mom. Even Grady thinks you need better friends, and he's four, Joshua. Four!"

"I don't know what you want me to do."

Stark gray fog began to clear out of the scene, and there stood a young looking Joshua and a taller man with long auburn hair pulled back in a bun, and a few light freckles spread across his cheeks. His eyes were a vivid shade of emerald. The resemblance to Joshua ended with their looks. His voice was deep, his skin a light olive-tone. Curly hair would have fallen to his shoulders if it hadn't been pulled back, and he was definitely taller than Joshua. He did not look older, though.

"I want you to do something to fix all of this right now." The taller man replied.

"Yeah, what's gonna happen if I don't, Jaime? Is the end of the world coming?"

"I'm really scared of what's gonna happen in the next few weeks. I don't want you to have regrets." Jaime, the taller man, shook his head with a heavy sigh. "Please, Joshua!"

"Unless we're all gonna die in a few days, I don't see what the big deal is." Joshua snapped before stomping away from Jaime with the huff of his breath. Jaime called after him, begging for Joshua to come back before something happened, but he didn't listen.

The gray scene from around the two of them began to intensify, clouds of ash and smoke suffocating Joshua's senses. Just as he caught his own breath, a stray blaze licked away the image of Joshua's older brother, leaving only the ghost of his body in the scene. Then the fire began to lap at Joshua's pants, a warm sensation spreading through his body. The fire didn't singe his skin as he had known it to do, but instead engulfed his body in a warm atmosphere that kept him alive, like the fire was his only hope in the room of ash.

Joshua's eyes snapped open, but he slowly sat up on the warm bed. His hands were clammy, beads of sweat pooling in his palms. He wiped his bangs away from his head and pulled his shirt off of his chest. His entire body was covered in sticky sweat. A warm trickle of blood fell past his lips, and Joshua brought his hand to his mouth to wipe away a bright crimson colored liquid. The inside of his lip ached, and he suspected that he had bitten it in his sleep while trying to keep himself from falling prey to the warm flames in his nightmare.

Beau walked up the stairs to the house, his footsteps echoing through their large house. Joshua crawled on the bed, staring down the hall as Beau walked. Joshua whimpered quietly, begging Beau to walk faster, but he didn't. Instead Beau rubbed the back of his head and sighed, pressing his body against the wall. He didn't know Joshua was awake, so he kept himself quiet as he slid down to his bottom and rested his head on his knees.

Joshua slipped off of the bed and slowly crawled across the floor, keeping his breathing steady as he made his way to the bedroom door. Beau didn't move at all, lost within his own little world crowded with thoughts.

"Beau?" Joshua whispered. Beau jumped, falling into reality. He blinked a few times as though he were trying to remember where he was. Then his eyes softened, and his knees slid down. He opened his arms for Joshua. Joshua crawled into them, taking in the warm and tangy smell of sweat. Beau's arms went heavy on Joshua's shoulders, holding his mate closer to his body.

"You okay?" Beau whispered. Joshua hesitated, but then nodded. "Did something happen?"

"A nightmare is all." Joshua said. Beau ran his fingers through Joshua's auburn colored hair, earning a soft breath of relief from Joshua's pink lips. He licked the inside of his bitten mouth only to feel a painful sensation return to his bottom lip while blood began to trickle onto his tongue. The taste of iron began to overwhelm his senses.

"A nightmare? About what?" Joshua buried his face into Beau's chest, whimpering quietly so he wouldn't have to explain. But Beau asked again. "It's not going to get better if you bottle it up." He said. Joshua felt squeamish, but he opened his mouth to begin explaining the short nightmare he had that plagued him for most of the night, repeating the one scene over and over until Joshua knew it like the back of his hand.

"It was... about my brothers." Joshua murmured. He didn't want to explain his past anymore than he had to. He wasn't particularly proud of his partially trouble-making past. His parents said Joshua had been the most soft-spoken child they ever had, but he definitely had a spunk about him just as his other family did. "How they died."

"Don't think about things like that." Beau said quietly.

"Where were you?" Joshua changed the subject as quick as he could, trying to steer clear of anymore harsh memories from before.

"I was looking for Ethylon." Beau hesitated.

"Any luck?" Joshua asked, looking at Beau with somber eyes.

"No. We just got our power and generators back... Nobody can get anything from District 4. Nothing about the fire. I think there's a train going there though." Beau laughed. "Y'know what's funny is that today was supposed to be election day. But because everything that's been going on, they put it off for a few more weeks."

Joshua twiddled his fingers together, losing himself in his own thoughts. Where was Ethylon? And if Ethylon was missing, why wasn't Lejend on the scene, searching for him? There was something wrong with the picture, something completely wrong. And yet, he couldn't put his finger on it. He would figure it out eventually.



"Matthew Parish has said that the fire is at the hands of the Capital rebels known as Beau Homem-Christo and Joshua Seydrin. Many are speculating on whether these accusations are true as both Joshua and Beau have been inseparable, and Beau was seen working with Capital assistant Rowan Wright." Joshua's attention faded in and out from the news and Beau quiet snoring. Beau had grown comfortable on the floor, waiting for the power to come back on, yet he dozed off for far longer than just a nap.

"Investigations involving this fire are underway, though detectives doubt they will find anything as the result of the blackout. The Capital is still not releasing information about the conspiracy of a hacker in our midst, though they are not denying it either. Stay tuned to learn more about the blackout. In other news...."

Joshua pushed himself off of the couch, quietly trudging towards the kitchen. He needed some water, because his lips were chapped and he was continuously chewing on the dried skin. He grabbed a glass cup, holding it under a stream of cold water coming from the sink. He couldn't explain why, but every movement he made seemed slow, drawn out, and suspiciously, like every time he moved, somebody was watching him. But he brushed it off as his own imagination.

The pitter-patter or rain was the only sound Joshua really paid much attention to now that the news had changed to another mindless Capital commercial. Beau had rolled over on the couch, hiding his face within one of the pillows.

It was strangely peaceful. The silence of the town was not one they had in a while. Joshua always thought their house was too quiet. A pet would have been nice. Actually, any animal would have been nice. Of course, the thought of children always struck Joshua's mind, but it seemed far too early. Beau always said they were trying to find some of Joshua's brothers, but that hope had been lost a long time ago.

Joshua reached his hand out to the glass on the counter, but was stopped short when a pair of arms held his arms to his body and kept him from moving. Joshua opened his mouth to yelp, but was easily stopped with a hand muffling any noises.

"Don't make any noise." A familiar voice whispered. Joshua gulped loudly, which seemed so cliche to him, but he nodded slowly to show he knew what to do. The stranger pulled his hands away from Joshua's body, and backed away from him.

Joshua's breath began to calm, and his chest didn't heave as much as it had been before. He turned his body slightly, greeted by a dark figure in the shadows. Joshua's knees were shaking, wobbling underneath his own body weight. But he didn't dare to move anymore than he already had.

"It's me, Joshua." The voice was sincere, and Joshua had only heard one other person the same tone with him.

"Drew." Joshua murmured.

"Shush." Drew said. "You're gonna wake Beau. He's not a very heavy sleeper, Joshua."

"I know." Joshua replied a bit hastily, but put his emotions in check as he remembered who Drew was. Technically, Drew and Beau were together first. Joshua had never understood the relationship between them, so he just called them boyfriends. It fit, and it seemed about right. "H-how are you?"

"I didn't come here to make small talk." Drew said, shaking his head as though he were disappointed. Disappointed in who? Himself? Joshua was completely guessing at these emotions. "I'm here to check on Beau. And you, I guess."

Joshua furrowed his brows together, and Drew pushed his own hair away from his face. The smallest gestures they made seemed to have smaller messages linked to them.

"I can't explain it." Drew said. "So don't ask me what I mean. I just want to make sure you're both okay."

" 'Okay', how?" Joshua said. His leg had stopped trembling, but he was still on guard. They hadn't seen Drew in months, and now he just shows up, in the middle of their house no less? "And how did you even get in?"

"Don't tell Beau, it might hurt his ego, but it's really easy to get into your house's system."

Drew sat down on the counter, resting his head on his knees as he pulled them up to his chest. Joshua studied him now that he had calmed a bit. Drew's hair was long, almost past his shoulders, and it was a nice shade of brown that reminded Joshua of milk chocolate. His face had a bit of creases in them that made him seem older, much more tired. His hands had cuts all over them, and while a few of them were bandaged, many of them were left to scab over.

"Did you guys have anything to do with that fire at the Battalion building?" Drew mumbled.

"Absolutely not!" Joshua replied. He almost yelled, but kept his tone quiet. There was no telling what Beau would do if he woke up. With all the emotions in the house, he might even kick Drew out, along with Joshua to go live with Ville.

"I'm just asking." Drew said. "Don't get all flustered."

"Why are you checking on us?"

"I need to make sure the two of you are still living." Drew's tone rose slightly, but he quickly dropped it when they both heard Beau shift uncomfortably upon the couch. Joshua's muscles grew rigid until one of them dared to speak.

"You're avoiding all my questions. Why won't you answer me?"

Another shuffling from the couch made Joshua jump, but this time, Beau was awake. Drew quickly hopped off of the counter and slid towards an open window in the kitchen. His legs slipped through without a problem, and he was soon halfway through.

"Psst." Drew whispered. "Don't tell him anything. Please." He pleaded before swiftly closing the window behind him and sprinting away like a fox. Joshua watched as his long mess of brown hair disappeared from the window.

Beau grumbled to himself as he made his way into the kitchen. He was hungry, and the nap he had taken didn't do anything for him. Joshua spun around, and immediately Beau caught his gaze.

"Something wrong?" Beau asked. Joshua shook his head without hesitation, and Beau pursed his lips in doubt. "Yeah, okay."

"I swear, nothing is wrong. I just.... I thought I saw someone outside." Joshua quickly regretted that, because Beau put down the knife he had and walked to the front door. He was so protective, and telling him lies obviously wasn't going to fix anything.

When Joshua stopped to think about it, his mind was completely boggled. Drew had just broken into his house, spoken to him, told him some completely out of the blue reasons as to why he was there and then left without a trace, all the while not waking Beau only a few feet away. How many times had Drew been in the house? How many times had he stared at Beau? Did he look at Joshua? Did he hate Joshua for stealing Beau?

"But I didn't steal him...." Joshua said without thinking. He slapped his hand over his mouth, and Beau turned.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." Joshua said again without hesitation. "Beau?"

"Yeah."

"I think we need a better security system."

Beau laughed and closed the front door, making his way to Joshua's side and snaking his arm around his waist. He reassured him that he would get it fixed. Joshua honestly didn't worry that much. He just wondered how many things he missed before that he will now notice. How many little noises will he hear and think of Drew? And honestly, how many times would it actually be Drew, but just another bird? A bird is all.