The Party Scene Has Got the Best of Me

ALEX'S POV

I don't know what to do. I mean, do I tell her the reason I feel so guilty about those hook ups is because of her? No...I couldn't do that. She'd freak out. She might leave. I couldn't have Erin leave. She meant too much to me, plus that child. OUR child. I kept catching myself looking at her. Any time, all the time. I wanted her to know so badly, but I didn't want her to reject me at the same time. So I had to play it safe. Just hint in various places, but I think she was just taking it as my usual flirtation.

I sighed heavily as I watched her hum around the kitchen. I loved that she always sang our songs to herself, it would probably creep anyone else out, but not me. I was just happy to have her here, I found it cute. Suddenly she paused in making our spaghetti and froze as she stared out the window.

Alarm bells were ringing in my head. I got up and went to her side. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on her back.

Erin looked dazed for a moment. Then she blinked and shook her head, and carried on with the spaghetti. I tried to spot something out of the ordinary, but I couldn't see anything that would cause alarm. "Yeah...I just thought I saw my mom for a moment."

"Really?" Her mom couldn't be here, no one knew Erin was living with me, she never told her friends back home, she was worried about the phone bill. I'd said it hadn't mattered, but it mattered to her.

"Yeah...but it couldn't be...right? I mean, I thought I saw her before, but-"

"Wait, what? You thought you saw her before? When?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "All the time you were on tour, I'd go out and I'd think she was there, even if it was just two seconds, I'd look over my shoulder and think for a moment...but there was never anything there."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Oh god, if anything had happened I didn't know what I'd do..aside from write a few songs about it.

"I didn't want you worrying..." She looked so small, so fragile right there and then. It was a month since I'd been back, and she was only just telling me this now?

"Oh Erin," I said, as I pulled her in for a hug, getting as close to her as possible without hurting the four-month old bump. She really was tiny whenever I held her. We stood like that for a few minutes, in silence. But then Erin brought me back down to earth.

"Erm, Alex, the spaghetti...it's gonna boil over..." I laughed and let her go.

We were eating early because there was a party at Rian's, he had some sort of announcement to make. Erin was coming to make sure I didn't get too drunk, and in case I did, to drive me home.

Hopefully I'd behave myself this time.