The Party Scene Has Got the Best of Me

ALEX'S POV

Today was the big day.

The veil fell over her face and her light brown hair fell in curls bouncing about her shoulders. Her green eyes looked up and I smiled at her, dressed in the layers of soft white material.

"Oh sweetie, you look beautiful. You remind me of when we got married," Erin said, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. I gently squeezed her hand, but I doubt through all the emotion, and the fact that it was such a soft pressure, that she ha actually felt it. 

"Yeah, you really do look beautiful Jasey," I managed to choke out, without my voice breaking.

Jasey smiled, and my son, Matthew, named after Erin's grandpa, came through the doors to call Jasey into the church. "Come on sis, I honestly don't know why you need all that time to do your make up, but you look real pretty and now it's time to go." That's my boy, always pay the lady a compliment. Growing up had been a little tougher on him than Jasey. I was forced to be away a lot more, and I think he blamed himself a little. He was 20 now, and I couldn't be more proud of how he turned out. He took after me on the music side, he even made a had a band too. And yeah, it's cliche, but he had a band with my band mates kids. Guess every kid took after us on the music side. 

Jasey took in a deep breath, I rubbed her arm, she smiled, Erin kissed her forehead and I walked with my daughter down the aisle, to meet a waiting Max. He was the spitting image of Jack. He acted like him too, so I wasn't too keen on them going out with each other, but although he was a year younger than her, he was mature and strong for her when she needed someone to cry to, when she couldn't come to me or Erin. I owed him for that.

The wedding went by smoothly, with quite a few tears from everyone in the congregation. I was barely holding myself together. I was just so proud of my daughter. She was so beautiful. 

The reception came by, and they had their first dance. Me and Erin stayed seated. She was too weak to dance. Since the cancer, she'd been too weak to do anything. That was partly why Jasey and Max got married so soon, they wanted her to see them married. I was only holding in because I knew Erin would need me. She was nearing the end of her life.

After the dance, they remembered the father of the bride speech. I had to laugh.

I had memorised it. "I told you, when you were one year old, that you were beautiful, and to never be afraid, and to do what you need to do in life. To follow your heart. And you've done that. You've made me so proud. I love you Jasey Rae. You're everything and more I could have ever wished for. And today, on your wedding day, I couldn't be more proud of you. It's only your second birthday but I'm already writing this, so I don't actually have to write one when you ask me to. I'm sure whoever you marry is worthy, oh shit, I mean are worthy, I forget that I'm writing this years before. Anyway, I'll see the dude on the day, won't I? But if you chose him, he's worthy. He has to be. I wish you both as much happiness as your mother and I have. I love you so much," Jack finished. I looked down the table and all eyes were shining. Jack continued, in his own speech this time. "Alex wrote this before the crash. The crash that took his life when Jasey was only 14. Alex was the best friend I could have ever wished for, and it's a good job he had written this then, because I don't think I'd have the words to say. But I know he's proud of you, and I know he loves you with all his heart. And I know he's here, smiling at you, still with that ridiculous haircut that a guy in his late thirties really can't pull off. But it's Alex Gaskarth. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. So, Jasey, I would be more than honoured to have the father daughter dance with you, if you don't mind?" Oh Jack, you really are the best friend in the world. 

He took her back to the dance floor, and Zack played guitar while Rian sang. I smiled as I recognised what they were playing. 

"My wish for you
Is that this life becomes
All that you want it to
I hope your dreams stay big
You worries stay small
You never have to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where your going to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same thing too
Yeah this is my wish" I recognised the chorus as My Wish, one of the very first songs that I'd written for Jasey.

"You know they miss you. All of them. I was scared for Matt, when he started the drinking. It's been so hard," Erin said, looking up at me.

I smiled at her. "I know, I'm so sorry. I tried to stop him, I really did. But he couldn't see me. Not until he ended up in the hospital. You're an amazing mom, you pulled them through. You never needed me," I tried to assure her.

A tear fell down her cheek. "But I did, so much. I kept thinking I saw you, but then you'd disappear, and now I can see you and talk to...but how long for?"

"It won't be long my love, not long at all. I promise you, you won't have to hurt anymore."

Erin looked at me, fear in her eyes. "But I'm so scared. I don't want to live like this anymore, but I can't leave them on their own."

I stroked he face and she leant into my hand. "They won't be alone. Jasey has Max, and Matt will be okay. He really will. He's not gonna go like he did before. He's accepted you're leaving, and he has Lily, she'll take care of him."

We both looked across the table and saw him standing close to a blonde haired girl, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She didn't take after Zack at all, she more took after Hannah. It was funny how everything had worked out.

Erin sighed. "He really does love her, doesn't he?"

I nodded at her. "Yeah, he really does. Probably about as much as I love you."

Erin nodded and another tear fell down her face. "I miss you."

"Not long now beautiful."

She turned her attention away from me as Jasey made her way over. "Mom, why are you crying?"

Erin took in a deep breath. "I'm just happy for you is all. I'm gonna miss you so much baby."

I saw the tears form in Jasey's eyes. She'd lost me, and soon she would lose her mom. She only had a week left. I could tell. "I love you mom. I'm gonna miss you too. So much."

She'd stopped denying that Erin was leaving her. She'd stopped trying to kid herself that she had longer left. Matt joined her when he saw Erin and Jasey engulfed in each others hugs and tears. "Mom, Jay, you two okay?"

"Yeah," Erin answered. "I need you two to remember something for me, okay?" They nodded. "Right, I love you two. And I know it'll be hard with me gone, but you have each other, and Max and Lily. I don't want you to get upset. Because I'm not leaving you, not really. I'll always be here for you."

This time they had a group hug, and stayed that way for a while. They all pulled back and Jasey was pulled back to the dance floor with Max, smiling.

Matt turned to Erin. "I miss him mom. It's not the same without him."

"I know sweetie, but you know he's still here, just watching us."

He smiled, looked sideways at me, and smiled at me. My heart soared. "I know."

And then Jasey looked over and saw me, smiling in shock as she cried. She got to see me in her wedding day, and that meant the world to her.

"Not long now," I said to Erin. We smiled at each other. We're a family, and it would be okay.