One More Mistake

Elliot Hammon III

I can't believe I did this. I cannot believe that I did this. What possessed me to do this? A strange fantasy to possibly fit in with a crowd for once in my life? Too much alcohol and not enough self-control? Whatever it was...I cannot believe that I did this.

I, Elliot Hammon III, just had a one night stand. I know for some people one night stands are their ways of life, but not me; definitely not me! I was the golden child! Straight A's, perfect record, perfect teeth! My parents had so much faith in me and even though they can never know about this, I feel like they're scrutinizing me as we speak, looking down on my less than perfect behaviour.

Now let's get something straight, my parents were not in any way overbearing and strict, if anything, they were the coolest parents ever...it was me who was overbearing and strict on myself. Nothing could go wrong! So how did this happen?

Just because certain people go to an Ivy League university, that does not in any way mean that they spend their days in front of textbooks and have no lives, far from it actually. I had decided to move into a dormitory because I had wanted some freedom, some responsibility. I never expected my roommates to be so...less than Ivy League worthy. They drank, they smoked god knows what and most weekends I never saw them. After my first midterms were completed and I was sure that I would not commit suicide within the next week, the group of three boys – not men, they were still boys – somehow managed to get me to go out with them...huge mistake.
They handed me shot after shot after shot until I could no longer count how many fingers I had. All I remembered was some random guy grabbing me, forcing me to dance with him and then that kiss...I sure remember that kiss; it was perfect. But then again, I had never kissed anyone before, so I had nothing to compare it to. Somewhere in my hazy mind, I had agreed to go back to his place and...well, I don't need to continue, you get it.

So here I am, lying stark naked on a bed beside some random guy whose name I don't even know.
Well, I guess there was another way I wasn't perfect. Ever since I was five years old my mother claimed she knew I was gay, so it was no surprise to her when I came out at fourteen; my father had actually asked me what had taken me so long to finally come out. See, cool parents.

When I woke up, I knew something was wrong. This was not the ceiling of my bedroom back at the university. This was not my room back at the university and the arms around me were not those of Jason, my roommate who likes to come into my room to cuddle when his girlfriend is not there to do it. It all clicked into my mind and I the panic attack ensued. I had not even kissed someone before, nevertheless done all of that. I had wanted my first time to be with someone I loved, or at least someone whose name I remember! For heaven's sake, that must be too much to ask for.

I had contemplated simply getting up and leaving without him even knowing that I had been there in the first place, but his arms around my waist acted like a vice. When I attempted to unhook his arms from me, a groan left those lips of his. I had not once looked at his face since waking up and I really wished I hadn't snuck in a glance. Not only was he perfect, but he was...perfect. Light auburn hair fell messily on top of flawless skin. He had a five o'clock shadow; I love stubble. From the arm that was tightly wrapped around me, he was also quite muscular. He was perfection in the flesh.

I was too lost in my thoughts and staring at the Greek god beside me to hear the yelling behind the door until a woman barged into the room. Can you say awkward? She was older, maybe mid-forties, dressed in a fancy silk suit. I had shot up from my lying position, not caring about waking the boy beside me. The woman smiled brightly, waving cheerily.

"Oh hello, I didn't realize Benjamin had company over." Benjamin, what a perfect name. "Sorry to wake you, but when Ben finally decided to get his lazy bum out of bed, could you please tell him that he needs to pick up his sister from her dad's. And if you get hungry, there's breakfast downstairs."

She smiled once more before rushing from the room. Her heels could be heard clicking down the stairs. A groan brought me back to reality and when I looked down, a pair of striking green eyes were looking back at me. The breath nearly left my lungs. Can he be more perfect? A small smile spread across his perfect lips. Then he did something I was definitely not prepared for. He kissed me! As in, kissing me! As in, those lips were on mine and I was sober enough to enjoy it. I thought one night stands didn't get too cuddly with one another.

I can't describe his lips; soft, yet very strong, warm, just like last night.
Words did not seem to want to for in my mind, but he I didn't have to say anything, he beat me to it.

"Last night was amazing." He smiled, bringing me closer, laying my head back down onto his warm, chiseled chest.

I know what I should have done. I should have pulled away and told him that I didn't remember the night before and that it meant nothing to me. I should have gotten off of that bed and left, not sparing him one last glance.
Nowhere in the list of what I should have done was there anything about agreeing with the boy on how amazing our night was. The night I couldn't even remember.

This was the type of guy I could only ever dream of getting and yet there I was, lying in his arms after a night of apparent bliss. Who gets this lucky? Not me, that's for sure. Somewhere in my warped thoughts, I had fallen asleep again and when I awoke, Benjamin was gone. I began to think that maybe I dreamt up the whole thing, but once again the room I found myself in was unfamiliar and I was still in the nude.

This was when Benjamin walked into the bedroom; smiling when he saw that I was awake. He was carrying a tray piled high with food. There must be something wrong with this boy; no one can be this perfect. He sat beside me on the bed, leaning down and planting yet another kiss on my lips.
Don't judge me for going back in for another one when he pulled away. His kisses are quite addicting.
So when he placed the tray on his bedside table and climbed over top of me, our lips never breaking contact, I should have pulled away and left, I should not have let it continue, I should not have let a repeat of last night recommence…

but what's one more mistake...