The Girl Named Bambi

10

I woke up in the middle of the night to a heated argument happening in the room. 

"You're not allowed here anymore. Get out, Jacob. I already said you couldn't be around her. She's so innocent. So pure. So go back to Bella and try to play that game for a while. She's my sister and you can't hurt her. I forbid you to see her ever again," Embry was saying. Jacob looked as though he would cry. I stayed still, eavesdropping. 

"Please, Embry, you don't understand. Quit acting like her father," he spat out meanly. 

"Is that some sort of a sick joke? Her father didn't want her. He gave her to an orphanage. He caused those people to beat her and neglect her and who knows what the hell else. I'm nothing like her father. And since he ditched my mom and I, I kind of do have to be her father figure. So get out. We don't need this. She doesn't need you," Embry retaliated. I wanted to cry also. I mean, Jacob was all right. I didn't see why he was such a big problem. Jacob saw my open eyes and pointed. Embry called the nurse in and told her I was having a lot of trouble getting to sleep, so she gave me some sleeping medicine through my various tubes and I was soon fast asleep. When I woke, I was alone in the hospital suite. 

Time went on and no one came to visit me. It must have been a week before the doctor decided I could lay on my back, too. They fixed up my wounds for another two weeks after that. It had almost been two months since I had walked. My mom had come occasionally, bringing me new flowers or a coffee. But she had work and didn't come often. Embry just didn't come often. The first time he came since the fight was seven weeks since the accident. 

"Hi sweetheart. How are you," he said sweetly, giving me a kiss on the cheek and bringing me an iced coffee. By this time they allowed me to sit up, and I was starting physical therapy to walk and run again. I had gotten very thin, because I never felt like eating, and IV fluids don't do much for that. My ribs were sticking far out, and pretty much every other bone was too. 

"Guess who came with?" he said while rubbing my shoulders. I shrugged. "Quil did. Come on in buddy." 

"Hello, Bambi. How are you babe?" Quill greeted me with an awkward tone of voice. Embry told me he had to go, and promptly left the hospital, but Quil stayed. 

"I missed you so much. How have you been, Q-tip?" I asked with a small smile. He let out a forced chuckle. 

"Pretty good. Things aren't going to well at home, though," he admitted. I questioned him with a look and he explained. "Well, we are having some problems with Jacob. The reason he's gone is because he's a bit... Weird. All of the things he told you about werewolves or whatever he said... They were lies. We've been trying to keep him away from you for a while now. He left you. He told us he didn't want to be with you anymore," Quil explained. My eyes widened. 

"He was lying about everything?" I said with a face that could turn rock into diamonds, just to make sure he wasn't lying. He gritted his teeth and nodded. 

"At least I still have you," I said joyfully and looked up lovingly. He smiled as though it were an accident. I reached my lips up and touched them to his jaw. 

"How long has it been since the accident?" he asked, changing the subject. 

"Almost two months. Six weeks since Jacob left," I replied and sighed heavily. He stroked my hair. 

"What's today's date?" I asked. 

"June 3, 2012. We just let off school in May. It's summer break. School starts in August. You'll start then too. Tiffany talked to the principal and you'll have a few classes with Embry. To get you adjusted. The doctors say you should be out of the hospital in a month and a half," he said with a smile. Then he apologized and said he had to go. 

He didn't come back. I had gone through physical therapy and multiple surgeries. But no one came. My mom came a few times, but not even Embry. No Quil. No Seth. No Jared. No Kim. And of course, no Jacob. I got stronger, but at the same time, I got weaker. My body was anorexic, but my muscles were visible. I would spend all of my allowed free time in the gym at the hospital. Lifting. Running. Stair climbing. Whatever I could to work the hurt out of myself. Sweat the pain away. And it worked. The more that I ran, the more rational my thoughts were. My mom came to pick me up from the hospital that last day. 

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry we didn't visit very often. There was a... death in the family. Your great aunt Mary died, so I had to organize the funeral and I was very busy. I didn't want you to get upset or think that you needed to attend. Embry went to a month long camp with Jacob, Quil, Jared, Sam, Seth, and Paul. You didn't ask, and I forgot to tell you. But they get back later, so would you like to set up the welcome back dinner with me?" she asked. 

"Sure... Will Jacob be there?" I ask timidly. She looked at me thoughtfully. 

"I don't know," she said and turned her eyes back on the road. 

As soon as we got home I showered, blew and straightened my hair, put on some makeup and a cute outfit. I wore a baggy turquoise crop top with black polka dots white shorts. My skin looked very tan, and just a little of my very skinny stomach was exposed by the crop top. I was ready to see my brother. I sat at the set table in the decorated kitchen and waited for him. The door was knocked, and I sprinted to it, flung open the door, and jumped on him in a hug. We stayed like this for a little while, my eyes squeezed shut. When I opened them, I noticed we were not alone. The rest of the guys, excluding Jacob were all standing on the porch with him. I greeted them all with huge hugs also. Seth held on a little longer than I did, but it was okay. I needed that. Hugging Sam was weird, but I went for it. Why not? If Embry was so close with him, why shouldn't I be?

"Bambi, you look fantastic," Quil noted. 

"Really beautiful," Embry agreed. I kissed them both on the cheek. Paul and Jared approached. 

"Look, we're so sorry for what happened. We feel terrible," Jared said and rubbed my shoulder. Paul nodded and patted me on the back. 

"It's all right. You didn't mean to hurt me. So... Where is Jacob?" I asked and everyone fell silent. 

"I don't think Jacob's coming. He had... Other plans," Sam announced. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. 

"Who wants food?" I asked and brought out the trays. Apparently all of them. And lots of it. I had a small portion of each of the foods and then went up to my room to bed. I didn't really want to socialize. A knock came from the door. 

"Come in, although I'm not very decent looking," I called, looking at my big T-shirt and plaid pajama shorts. It was Seth. 

"Of course you're decent looking. You always look pretty," he said and gave me a little hug. I smiled up at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

"You're so sweet, Seth," I responded and sat down on my bed. He joined me uninvitedly. 

"I'm really sorry about what happened with Jacob. He really messed things up with you. I was wondering if you wanted to come to the beach tomorrow night. Billy, Jake's dad, tells the best stories. We all sit around a fire.. It's really fun. I know it sounds boring. You don't have to come if you don't want to," Seth stammered bashfully. I almost rolled my eyes. 

"Of course I want to come. That will be so much fun!" I replied. He smiled with relief and told me goodnight, leaving me to a nice, peaceful sleep in my own bed. I dreamt of Jacob. And then Quil. Jacob carried me across the beach and playfully threatened to drop me in the water. Quil held my hand as we walked along the beach. The two were so different. But I preferred Quil's gentle manner. He was so careful. But Jacob was so reckless. 

I couldn't love Jacob ever. He lied to me and then left. I'd been hurt before and wasn't about to be hurt again. Quil was a safe route. No risks taken, and I liked that. Nothing to be afraid of. He would never grow impatient with me or get too angry with me and not be able to handle it. He would never leave me. I drifted off until morning. I woke up at 12:00, which was very late for me. I rolled out of bed and took a shower. 

After that, I let my hair air dry and brushed my teeth after breakfast. Or lunch. I ran my curler through my hair to make loose, wavy curls. My makeup was light except for the black eyeliner all around. It really made my eyes more intense. I wore very short distressed denim shorts and a lime green crop top. For shoes I wore some black converse. I was ready around two, so I watched T.V. until Seth walked to my house to take me to the party thing. We arrived at the beach at around 4:30 and Emily asked if I wanted to help grill some burgers. I agreed, but after I took a little walk. There was a path that led into the woods and I followed it curiously. I heard voices, so being as bored as I was, I hid behind a tree. 

"Jacob, you really shouldn't have left her just because of me," some girl said with an annoyingly familiar voice. 

"Bambi and I aren't anything. She's just a child. Nothing is going on," Jacob told her. My insides cracked. I didn't really think we had an intense love connection, but I was pretty sure I meant more to him than a "child". This saddened me. It was sort of crushing. Like I was nothing. I'd been crushed before. I knew how to handle it... Or did I? I fumed out of the woods quietly. I made sure not to let anyone know I was angry. But I was angry. I wanted to pounce on that idiot and smash his face in. Just to feel the satisfaction of sinking my fists into him. 

A few moments later, Bella and Jake sauntered onto the beach. More like Jake sauntered and Bella merely followed. I decided to help Emily cook then. We grilled an abundance of burgers and sausage and steaks. After they were cooked, everyone walked to where the food was and grabbed what they wanted. I sat down with a burger and some potato salad on the beach by myself. Jake and Bella approached. 

"Bambi," he said softly. I looked up into his eyes with a miserable look on my face. 

"Yes Jacob?" I said quietly. 

"I didn't mean to leave you... I mean... I just thought... And this isn't..." he trailed off. 

"Why do you want to speak with me if I'm such a 'child'?" I said with a cold stare. He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. 

"You left me," I said slowly. He tried to speak again, but I had more. "You LEFT me."

"Bambi. It's not like that. And all-" he didn't get to finish. 

"I'm not hurt. I know what hurt feels like. I know what bruises and cuts and scrapes feel like. They're the evidence from the beatings. The traces of the scissors. The markings of being thrown down the stairs. That is hurt," I spoke. 

"Oh don't you pull that little abused orphan thing," he sneered and narrowed his eyes. Real tears escaped mine. Little abused orphan thing?

"Jacob!" Bella scolded. He ignored her. 

"You think that has anything to do with this?" he asked. I shook my head. 

"I just don't understand. How you could tell me all those lies about werewolves. Shapeshifting and whatever the hell else. Then leave me with those lies. Then hook up with Bella behind my back. You know, for a second I felt safe with you. Like I would never have to worry about anyone hurting me again. And look where I am now. I've been hurt bad before. Never did it feel quite like this."

"We didn't hook up," he retaliated. 

"I don't give a damn. Oh I forgot, you were in a little competition with her boyfriend, Jack Frost. What, is he a werewolf too? Or even better, a vampire?" I mocked him. Bella and Jacob fell silent.