Speak Now

I stood quietly as the wedding march played throughout the church. I took one look at Taylor and looked away towards the front. I couldn’t stand the sight of her.

Luckily Jared, Pat, and Garrett haven’t noticed me. They looked happy but it mainly looked like they were forcing it. Ross was looking at his feet not caring about the bride. Kennedy kept looking between John, me and Taylor; giving me a sympathetic look each time. John took his gaze away form Taylor and looked over at Kennedy who was now just staring at me. John followed his sad looking gaze and found my broken dazed one. He looked shocked and his eyes filled with all certain types of emotions, but then his attention was pulled away when the pastor spoke, “We gather here today”- but I muted him out as I kept staring at John.

He began to look confused and was looking anywhere but Taylor. Then he turned his head to look at me as the pastor said, “Speak now or forever hold your peace.” And then I felt like everyone was staring at me. Kennedy with his encouraging eyes, Ross finally looking at me, it seemed like Jared, Garrett, and Pat found me too, but when I locked eyes with the groom I knew exactly what to do.

I stepped into the middle of the aisle and heard horrified gasps and saw scared faces from Taylor’s side, but that didn’t matter. I just kept looking at John as I spoke, “I do.” There were more gasps coming from all around the room but I still didn’t care. I kept looking at John who was now shocked but relieved.

“John you can’t- I can’t let you marry her. I know you don’t love her.” I said stepping further down the aisle, but I stopped halfway not wanting to move any further. I heard Taylor’s mother mumble, “How dare she ruin my daughters wedding. Can’t she find another boy?” but I ignored it when I heard Jenny say to herself, “Please, don’t mess this up, John.”

“You’re not welcome here Carson. You weren’t even invited. So, I suggest you leave and let John and I get married.” Taylor seethed.

“Taylor, shut the hell up and let her speak.” Shane said from his seat. I held in my laughter as Jenny slapped his head but I continued speaking, “I know you don’t love her because that’s all everyone keeps telling me ever since the day you proposed. I don’t know if Kennedy or Ross told you the truth yet, but I was there and I bolted right when you got down on one knee. I didn’t want to see what I already knew what would happen. I couldn’t stand the thought of you falling in love with her. It killed me everyday since. I told Kennedy that I needed to be alone and I needed to stay away from you… So I can learn how to love someone other than you…”

I paused, “Ever since my dad and I moved here I’ve had a crush on you. But the crush grew more and more until I realized that I fell in love with you a few months before you proposed. And yes, love because John, I’m still in love with you. I’m hopelessly, pathetically, and madly in love with you. I love your smile, I love your eyes. I love how you’d yell at the TV screen when your team is losing a baseball game. I love how you interact with your fans, I love how you enjoy singing, I love how you love being with your family, I just love everything about you. But the one reason why I hate you is because you never saw how much I love you…” I paused and took a deep breath as I wiped away a few stray tears, “Now, if what everyone says is true, that you really do love me. Then meet me at our place… You have ten minutes John.” Then I left in a hurry. He knew exactly where to find me, as did all the other guys.

It was our place. The one place we thought we could escape to all the time. No one else could find it because it was too high up. We built it and we created it. The tree house was the place where kisses were taken, stories told, and nights spent starring out at the stars. Where promises were made and secrets told. It was ours and no one else’s. I’d be a fool if he doesn’t show up. Then I guess I could say that I’d officially lost all hope in love itself.