Speak Now

I made it to the tree house and sat and waited. I replayed the memories that were made at this place repeatedly in my head. This is where I had my first kiss. The guys and I were playing truth or dare and when John asked me, I said truth, to which he said, have you ever been kissed?

At this time I was just getting to know him but I did answer truthfully. He asked the same question to everyone. Most of them said yes except for Kennedy. He hadn’t been kissed either. So, when it was my turn again, I chose dare. But it was Garrett who dared me and Kenny to kiss. It was fine between the two of us. Thinking why not, let’s get the whole thing over with, and at least we were comfortable with each other. So it happened but we stayed friends because feelings never grew between us.

I also remember the night that I had a huge fight with my dad. I told him that I wanted to see my mom over winter break and he flipped and started telling me that I didn’t love him and that I wasn’t his daughter. He kicked me out of the house that day to. That was the last of our fights because I never came back.

I ran to the tree house with a bag of clothes thinking I could just stay up here for the rest of my life. But that day I forgot that I was going to Kennedy’s for dinner and when I didn’t show, he sent a search party for me (Garrett, Jared, Pat, Ross, and John). When it got darker they went home to try again in the morning, except John was still looking. He found me up here crying. I told him about everything that happened. He listened to every word and told me to look up at the sky, when I did he said, There’s a whole universe out there. Good things will lift you up and the bad things will bring you down. All you have to do is lift your head up high and stay strong through the journey. After that I gave him a kiss on the cheek and we fell asleep.

Then next morning all the guys found us and started asking questions. I answered them all truthfully and asked if they went to my house. They said that my dad wasn’t there and that the entire place was empty as if someone left in a rush. I broke down crying because my father abandoned me and left me to rot in the Arizona state. But Kennedy offered me to stay with him and I didn’t object to it at all. I needed a place and my best friend was offering me some comfort. They all did. After a while though I got my own apartment when I was eighteen and paid for my own education. I never found my father after the entire fiasco, but I never needed him. I had my friends.

After a while of thinking about the past, I looked at phone and almost broke down. John wasn’t coming. I gave him a time limit and turns out he didn’t show. He’s probably already going to his honeymoon. I can’t handle this. I just ripped my heart out and gave it to him letting him know that I love him and he abused it. I can’t believe I love him.

I left the tree house without glancing back. I walked all the way home, luckily it wasn’t far. I went into my apartment and fell to my knees. I leaned my body against the front door, crying silently, and took off my shoes. I sat there thinking.

Why did I do this? I knew I was a fool? How could I be so clueless and fall for everything my best friends have been telling me since graduation. This is ridiculous. I’m crying over a guy that never even loved me. But I love him and I can’t get my fucking mind off him. Why can’t I get over him? I spent six months locked in my apartment without speaking to him and I still didn’t get over him. I can’t stay here. I need to leave. Leave this dry place behind. John might still have my heart, but I want it back. I can’t let him win it, if he won’t let me win in return.

I got up from my spot on the ground and went to my bedroom. I dialed my boss’s number on my cell phone as I grabbed my suitcase. He picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hey Larry, I was just calling to see if I can be transferred?”

“Transferred? Why do you want to be transferred?” he questioned.

I thought up of a lie quicker than a wild fire as I replied, “I just feel like going someplace new. You know get a new vibe, new scenery. Do you think I can do that?”

“Oh, okay. Well I actually wanted to promote you when you got back here in the office, but it’s a different type of job.”

“What is it?”

“Well, instead of shooting at concerts, and models. I was wondering if you’d like to take photos of bands for albums and such. I know how much you love music, and I thought this would be perfect for you. Plus it’s in Baltimore, so it’s a totally new feel. Are you up for the task?”

“That’s perfect, Larry. Can I leave today?”

“Uh, I think I can pull some strings. I’ll call you back soon.”

“Okay, thank you. Bye.” I hung up on my boss and started packing up clothes, shoes, and a whole lot more. I packed up my entire closet in three bags and started on my bathroom, clearing that up with two smaller bags. I heard my phone ringing and picked it up immediately, “Hello?”

“A driver will come to pick you up in twenty minutes. They’ll drive you to the airport and all you have to say is your name at the desk and they’ll hand you your ticket and you’ll be set for take off. From there on, a driver will be at the shuttles to pick you up and bring you to your new apartment. From there on you will have a new boss, but if you need any help, I’m always one dial away.”

I smiled brightly, “Thank you so much Larry, you’re a life savor.”

“You’re welcome sweetheart. And Carson…”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you feel better. I know this is more than just a new vibe, but if you ever want to talk to me about it, again I’m one dial away.”

I smiled sadly, “Thank you Larry.”

“No problem sweetheart. I’ll speak with you soon.” He said and then we said our goodbyes. I was done packing by now and waited for my driver. There was a knock on my door and I got up and answered it. I expected it to be my driver but it wasn’t because my door swung open and a worried looking Kennedy walked in. “Ken”- but I was cut off.

“What happened? I tried calling your house phone, your cell phone, I tried everything! What happened?” he shouted.

I furrowed my brows, “What do you mean what happened? John got married, he doesn’t love me, and he didn’t show up.”

Now it was his turn to furrow his brows, “What? You’ve got to be kidding me. One, he didn’t marry Taylor. After you left he stood there for two minutes just replaying everything in that stupid head of his. Taylor was going to have the preacher start the ceremony all over again, but he ran off. I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him. I thought he went to go after you, but he didn’t?”

“No, he didn’t.” I said and he hugged me tightly. Then there was another knock and when I looked over my shoulder it was my driver. “Miss Jenson, your ride is ready for you. Do you need any help with your bags?”

Kennedy and I pulled apart and I nodded my head. When I looked back at Kennedy he had confusion written on his face, “Your ride, and bags? Cars, are you leaving?”

I nodded my head, “It’s the only thing I could think of.”

“What about your job?” He said curiously.

“I’m being transferred.”

“Where are you being transferred to?”

“Promise not to tell anyone?” I asked and he nodded but added, “Only Ross.”

“I’m going to Baltimore and taking different photos. No more models and concerts.”

“That’s wonderful, I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you Kennedy.” I smiled sadly at him. We hugged each other again, but this time I started crying. Kenny held me tighter and it felt like if he let go I’d vanish in thin air. The driver came back and said that he was ready when I was. I nodded my head and hugged Kennedy again. When I pulled away I kissed his cheek, “I’ll keep in contact with you and Ross when I have the chance, but please don’t let anyone else know.”

He nodded his head and kissed my forehead. I walked to the front door and looked back sadly at my best friend whose sad eyes were spilling silent tears. It broke my heart watching him like this, but it was for my own well-being. I had to learn how to get over my love for John. I said my last goodbye and went downstairs and over to the driver. He opened the door for me and shut it.

This was my last chance to be free. I can’t let one boy get the best of me. He didn’t love me, even if I helped him get out of something he didn’t want to do. I’ll still always love John, but I need to move on. This is my last chance to get things right.