Deceit Brings Fire

“Becca you have to go. It’s prom. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

I plopped down on my bed across from Megan, where she was busy painting her nails an almost blinding neon green that only she could pull off. She was quirky, you could say, yet still classy. I envied the ease with which she carried herself, always embracing whatever made her different from every other girl.

“I don’t have to do anything,” I mumbled, reaching for the Cosmopolitan magazine on the bedside table.

“You can still have fun without a date,” she continued, almost as if I hadn’t said a word. She twisted the brush back onto the bottle of polish and admired her nails, before blowing on them softly.

“Easy for you to say,” I huffed. “What am I supposed to do while you and Prince Charming are off dancing the night away?”

She rolled her eyes at the nickname, but smiled nonetheless. She had been dating Tanner Jameson for about two months now. In the beginning, their relationship was all anyone at school talked about. Megan, the artsy, seemingly carefree girl wasn’t exactly who people would’ve expected honors student and star athlete, Tanner to choose, but they’d proven everyone wrong.

Tanner was a good guy – a nice guy, and good-looking too – but he wasn’t my type, something Megan was all too aware of.

“You know we’d never leave you out or anything. We could get a little group together and-"

“Megan I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but the truth is I really don’t care about-"

I stopped mid-sentence as a knock echoed through the room.

“Go away!” I yelled, smirking when Megan gave me a look. She may have a boyfriend, but it was no secret (at least to me) that she still thought my brother was cute.

A low chuckle sounded from behind the door. “Well fine then.”

I pushed myself off the bed, biting on my lower lip as I fought the urge to smile. I pushed open the door and nearly slammed into my brother’s best friend. He glared at me, folding his huge tattooed arms across his chest. I tried to ignore the way his muscles flexed as he did so, showing off his growing number of colorful tattoos, and turned my attention instead to his face.

“Is that any way to greet me?”

His smile gave him away, his dimples popping, and I couldn’t help but smile back even as I felt my heart fluttering anxiously in my chest.

“Hey,” I said simply, still standing half inside my room and half into the hallway. His mouth twisted into a smirk as he cocked an eyebrow.

“You going to let me in?”

I pretended to think about it, assuming a thoughtful pose as I lifted my face to the ceiling.

“We’re actually having some girl talk right now. I don’t think you’d be interested.”

“Oh! I love girl talk,” he exclaimed, in a rather high pitched voice. I couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the way that voice sounded coming out of him. He pushed on the door gently and I relented, stepping back to let him inside. “Hey Meg.”

“Hey Matt,” she called, still shaking her fingers as her nail polish dried.

He sat down on the edge of my bed and picked up my magazine. I watched as he turned to a random page and his eyebrows raised before his mouth suddenly opened into a grin.

I returned to my spot against the pillows. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head, tossing the magazine so it landed on my lap. “Oh nothing. I’ll just let you read up on ‘how to best pleasure your man.’” He snickered, clearly finding himself hilarious, while I merely rolled my eyes.

“Actually Matt, maybe you can help us,” began Megan, ignoring his immaturity entirely. “Rebecca here seems to think she’s too good for high school dances and –“

“That’s actually not what I said,” I interjected.

“-apparently doesn’t care about missing prom, even though I know in ten years when she looks back on her high school years she’ll think ‘Gee, I really wish I’d listened to Megan and-‘”

“Prom’s overrated.”

Megan’s eyes narrowed in Matt’s direction, while I only smiled.

He shrugged. “Well, it’s true. I didn’t have a choice. My girlfriend wanted to go. But if Becca doesn’t feel like going, then I don’t see why-“

“Okay, no.” Megan sat up abruptly on her knees, pushing her palms against his back with all her might. He barely budged and she gave up after a few moments with a loud sigh of frustration. “Go away,” she whined. “You’re not helping.”

He laughed, getting up off of the bed.

“Fine. I’ll leave you two alone.”

He made to leave, but not before sending a subtle wink in my direction. I gave him a grateful smile in return.

“What are you doing?”

Megan’s eyes met with mine as we heard my brother’s voice outside my room.

“Oh, just having some quality girl- “

“Why were you on my sister’s bed? Why were you even in her room?”

“I can hear you guys!” I volunteered, the corners of my mouth twitching when I heard my brother sigh loudly in annoyance.

“Dude, chill out. I was just-“

“Don’t tell me to chill out.”

I heard the booming footsteps as my brother ran down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, turning onto my stomach and flipping back to my page in the magazine, which incidentally was about nails, not blowjobs.

“Psst.”

I raised my head to the sound to see Matt’s eyes glowing through the crack in my open door, his eyebrows raised, but a small smile playing on his lips.

I sent him a knowing, apologetic smile in return. This was nothing new.



“Are you really not gonna talk to me?”

The car was quiet - awkwardly quiet - the only sounds the bumps in the road and the breeze through the open window. I’d tried to turn on the radio, but Brian had stopped me, saying that he wanted to talk to me. But I didn’t want to talk, not to my brother and certainly not to Matt.

These past few days had passed in sort of a blur. I’d gone to classes as usual, come home to do piles of homework, worked a couple shifts at the pizzeria and made to pretend that everything was normal, even though it was far from it. Today I’d come home from Chemistry to my brother telling me we were going to Matt’s. Not asking, telling. Today was not a good day. I had a headache, I was exhausted and thus irritable and even slightly angry. Angry that it had been two weeks since that night with Matt and he’d made no effort towards contacting me. He’d moved on with his life, while I’d moped around heartbroken.

“C’mon Bec. Don’t be mad at me.”

I exhaled loudly through my nose, turning away from the window and staring at him through narrowed eyes.

“Seriously?”

He averted his eyes from the road, glancing at me quickly, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

“What the fuck did I do?”

I huffed out a laugh. “You had no right to go talking about me to Matt. It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, really?” His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel as his voice raised in volume. “When something’s making you upset, that’s sort of my business. When that something is my best friend, that’s really my fucking business.” I opened my mouth to respond but was immediately interrupted. I folded my arms across my chest, returning my attention to the view outside my window. “I’m sorry that I went behind your back to do that. Maybe that was wrong. But I know that you and Matt are one in the same when it comes to being stubborn and that it would’ve taken the both of you weeks to work this shit out on your own.

“Now,” he sighed loudly, lowering his voice, “wanna stop for some coffee?”

I ignored him, glaring even harder at the window, as if doing so would make me feel better.

“I’m not trying to win you over. Promise. You’re tired, I’m tired and coffee’s good. What do you say?”

I loosened the grip on my arms, leaning back against the seat with a small defeated sigh.

“Fine,” I mumbled.

I saw his smirk out of the corner of his eye before he glanced in his side mirror and turned on his left blinker to the Starbucks plaza.



Even as the car slowed to a stop in Matt’s driveway and Brian cut the engine, neither of us made any immediate move to get out. Although I didn’t want to talk, questions had been nagging at me since Brian had forced me to come with him. I was just slightly afraid of the answers.

I took a sip of my coffee and cleared my throat. “What did he tell you?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you just go talk to him?”

I stared at him, suddenly aware of the fact that he looked almost as uncomfortable as I did. I groaned internally, knowing Matt had to of revealed some of what happened that night, at the very least.

I sighed loudly, shoving the door open with my free arm. I got out of the car and switching my iced coffee to the other hand, slammed the door with a bang.

I turned back to the car, seeing Brian staring at me with a quizzical look.

“Well, aren’t you coming?”

He turned his eyes away. “I don’t know. I think you two better talk on your own.”

I raised my arms, the ice and liquid sloshing loudly in my cup. “Why the hell did you force me over here with you if you were just gonna wait in the car?”

It was his turn to sigh, and he swiftly pulled the keys from the ignition, grabbed his Styrofoam cup from the holder and we both started up the driveway.

Brian jumped up the steps and pushed open the door without as much as a knock and stood back to let me in.

I glared at him. Was it not considered rude to just walk into someone’s house, no matter how well you knew them?

He ignored my stare, gesturing for me to go inside. “He’s probably still out back where I left him,” he said evenly. “Go talk to him. I’ll wait in here.”

I sighed loudly through my nose, walking across the threshold. I folded my arms across my chest, staring at him as he joined me and shut the door behind him. “You know, I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop ordering me around. ‘Hey Becca, did you have a good day at school? Okay cool, we’re going to Matt’s. Oh, you don’t want to? Too fucking bad because –”

“Hey.”

I stopped short, my breath hitching in my throat at the sound of his voice.

I forced myself to look at him, noticing immediately that he didn’t look well. At least, not quite like himself. To the average person he might look fine, normal, although maybe tired and hot. He was wearing his usual summer attire: some cargo shorts and a black shirt with the sleeve carelessly ripped off. His skin shone lightly with sweat and his growing hair stuck up out odd angles around his backward’s-facing hat.

He smiled at me, but I could tell it was forced - his lips forming the gesture, but never reaching his eyes or dimpled cheeks. His eyes were glazed over slightly and it was clear he’d been drinking, as well as red around the edges as if he hadn’t been sleeping well. My eyes narrowed as I zeroed in on the cigarette held between two fingers, blowing the stuff through his supposedly smoke-free house.

I brought my eyes back up to his face, where he was staring expectantly. I swallowed, realizing that he must have been talking to me.

“Huh?” I said stupidly.

He chuckled lightly, suddenly looking uncomfortable as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I nodded, briefly glancing in my brother’s direction, where he was now perched on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees, seemingly ignoring us, but I knew better.

“Let’s go outside,” I managed, noticing how quiet and unsure my voice sounded.

I avoided Matt’s gaze as I walked past him to the back door, pulling it open and walking across the porch to the railing. I sucked in a deep breath, wishing the air outside was a bit more refreshing and let it out slowly as I heard the door close quietly behind me.

I felt him join me, but neither of us said anything. The anxiety continued to bubble in my stomach, making it hard to gather my thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

My body tensed at his voice, a voice that I’d missed deeply over the past few weeks, though I hadn’t expected it to bring discomfort at the same time. My nose wrinkled at the smell of the smoke, which washed over me briefly.

I swallowed heavily, ignoring his question. “Why are you smoking?”

He shifted his weight against the railing, staring at the stick between his fingers in distaste.
“I don’t really know,” he admitted. He cleared his throat, continuing in a quiet voice. “It’s sorta been making me feel better, I guess.”

I turned my eyes to him, watching as he brought the cigarette up to his lips and inhaled the stuff.

Growing up I remember Matt had always tried all the shit his friends got into, but it seemed he’d never really found any enjoyment in any of it. It made no sense to me that he’d pick up this sick habit.

His eyes met mine and I averted my eyes quickly, turning around and walking over to the bench against the house.

“I’m not proud of it,” he added, walking toward the table beside the bench and stuffing the stick into the ashtray. He sat down beside me, leaving just a few inches between us. His proximity made me nervous. It made me think of that night – the way it had first felt to have his lips on mine; the rush when he’d kissed me back and quite literally took my breath away; the way my heart thudded in my chest during and after the kiss, my body suddenly alive with lust.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t called or texted, I… I shouldn’t have said any of that shit in the first place. This break hasn’t accomplished anything good. I was afraid of hurting you so I put as much distance between us as I could.” He scoffed, kicking the sole of his shoe hard against the floor of the porch to which I jumped, the movement rattling the table beside me. “And I failed that too, didn’t I? Only thing I fucking accomplished was hurting you.”

He stood up abruptly and I looked up, watching as he paced the length of the porch. He stopped, pulling his hat off and rubbing at his head. His hair was beginning to show slight curls as it always did when he let it grow. Normally I would’ve laughed at the way his hat had pressed half of the locks flat against his head, others on the side bent awkwardly outward. His eyes met mine and I forced myself not to look away again. The hazel orbs held no anger anymore and I heard him sigh quietly.

“Now comes the hard part.”

He paused, never breaking eye contact and I felt my heart rate quicken at his words.

“These past few weeks have sucked. I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I kept picking up my phone to text you and then remembered that I couldn’t. And I couldn’t call you to ask how your day went. And I couldn’t invite you over to watch us idiots try and have band practice. First and foremost, you’re my best friend and I’ve missed you like crazy.” Matt sighed quietly before coming to kneel down in front of me. I flinched slightly when he reached to wipe his forefinger gently under each eye. I hadn’t even realized that I’d started crying; perhaps I’d grown too used to the feeling lately. “No matter what happens I am not willing to give that up. Never. But I also can’t stop thinking about what happened that night. You have no idea how fucking long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

I locked eyes with him again, his face blurred slightly through the tears in my eyes.

“D-do you remember –“ I broke off with a sniff, taking a shaky breath so that I could speak again. “Do you remember when we went to prom together as friends, and my brother freaked out, thinking that you just wanted to get in my pants?”

He smirked slightly and simply nodded.

Sure, I’d told everyone that I didn’t want to go to prom, but the truth was that I just didn’t want to go to prom alone. Every girl wants to go to prom if she has a cute boy by her side. Needless to say I was more than willing to go when Matt asked.

I swallowed. “Did you?” Matt laughed softly and my lips stretched into a small smile, realizing that I’d basically asked him if he’d wanted to fuck me back then. “I mean… did you like me?

Matt patted my knee softly before standing back up. “Becca, I’ve had feelings for you for longer than I care to admit.”



Sitting on the couch between Matt and my brother was torturous. Brian was sprawled out, feet resting lazily on the coffee table, just how we’d found him when we’d come inside. Matt was resting his head against the back of the couch, eyes staring at nothing. I sat with my arms folded on my lap, still entirely too on edge to relax. No one had said a single word since we’d come in, the only sounds coming from the television that I was basically tuning out.

“So that’s it? You two are all good? Officially a couple? Congrats.”

Matt shifted beside me and cleared his throat.

“Something wrong, Gates?”

“Nope,” he answered, popping the “p.” He reached for the remote, pushing the off button much harder than necessary. “Everything’s perfect. I’ll just leave you two alone.”

“Brian. What the hell is up with you?”

Matt put his hand on my arm, shaking his head and willing me to not fight with my brother. But I’d had enough. Whatever it was that he was trying to pull wasn’t going to fly with me. I’d put up with his incessant intrusions into my personal life for too long.

“Don’t ask me. Ask that fucking liar who’s-“

“Stop. Let’s talk outside.”

Matt stood up, walking around the coffee table to where Brian was gathering his things. He snorted, staring at him in disbelief. “Anything you wanna say to me you can say in front of her.”

Matt swallowed, his adam's apple visibly poking through his neck. I felt him plop back down on the couch beside me.

“Becca.” He waited until I looked at him. His eyes moved to glance at Brian, who was facing away from us, arms folded tightly against his torso. “I didn’t break up with Sara. She broke up with me.”

I stared, waiting. “Okay?”

“I went out with the guys one night. I got annihilated. I don’t remember a single thing, but someone told my girlfriend that they saw me making out with some girl. Sarah called me at 10 AM the next day, when I was still passed out drunk, left me a voice mail and told me it was over.”

I let out the breath that I’d been holding. I blinked, turning my eyes to my brother, who was now staring at me, his face having softened considerably.

Matt turned to Brian as well, shifting so he was sitting on the edge of the couch. “And if that makes me a horrible fucking person, then so be it. Are you happy Brian? Happy you ruined all of this? I know, you’re just so innocent. Never done anyone wrong, just-“

I gulped, watching as my brother marched forward until there were only inches between them. Brian, always slightly smaller in stature and build, yet suddenly more buff with increasing anger.

“Danielle cheated on me, remember?”

“Yeah, I do. I also remember how you were the fucking king of hookups. Remember that?”

“Was,” he seethed. I winced as their voices raised in volume with each response. “Before I met someone who I really fucking loved and I grew the fuck up. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone.”

“Becca is different! Yeah, I cared about Sara at the time. Of course I fucking did. But I’ve cared about Bec since she was five years old. I helped babysit her when your parents had to go out of town. I helped her learn piano when she was upset that she “didn’t have a talent like other kids did.” I took her to prom since her asshole of a boyfriend broke up with her a week before, because I knew that she wanted to go. She’s your fucking baby sister Brian. Do you actually think that low of me that you believe I’d purposely hurt her? What the hell, man.”

Matt shook his head and walked away, returning to his spot on the couch. His breath came out in angry huffs. He leaned to the side, reaching into his pocket. I gasped quietly as something white flew through the air toward my brother.

He jerked, managing to catch it as it whipped by his head, its contents rattling inside the box. Cigarettes.

“Take ‘em,” Matt mumbled, standing up once again and making to leave the room.

Brian cleared his throat. “Wait.”

I locked eyes with him, silently begging him to be reasonable. He relaxed his jaw and sighed. “Prove it to me, Matt.”