Deceit Brings Fire

“I’m home!” I sang as I entered the kitchen, tossing my keys onto the counter.

My stomach growled. I hadn’t had a chance to grab lunch between classes, so, needless to say, I was starving. I was craving something delicious and full of carbs, but I sighed, reaching into the fridge and grabbing an apple instead.

“Brian?” I called, a little louder this time.

I took a bite of my apple just as my cellphone buzzed. It was then that I noticed the faint sounds of a guitar trailing from the living room. My brother and I had been sharing an apartment together for a few months now. I’d dreaded the thought of living at home with my parents during college, but given that the university was only twenty minutes away, it would have been stupid to spend all of that extra money to live on campus. I suffered through my first year of college living at home (okay, so it wasn’t that bad), but I was unquestionably thankful, although shocked, when my brother asked me to move in.

He’d bought the apartment about a year and a half ago when he’d still been with his last girlfriend, Danielle. I won’t say that I never liked the girl, but given that she broke my brother’s heart, she was on my shit list now and forever.

He’d called me about a week after the break-up, and although he didn’t let on that he was upset about anything, call it “sister’s intuition”, but I immediately knew that something was wrong. His asking me to move-in was further confirmation that something had happened.

“Do you wanna move in with me?”

I was silent for a few seconds. Why would he ask me to move in with him? Why would I want to live with my brother and hear him and his girlfriend - unless…

“Brian…what happened?”

He sighed. “Later, okay? I don’t… wanna talk about it.”

He sounded tired. Distant. Hurt.

I knew he was heartbroken, and it nearly broke mine too. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay,” I said softly. I paused. “Do you - should I come over now, or -?”

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever you want.”

I’d headed over to his apartment shortly after getting off the phone with him. He’d opened the door and said hello, forcing a small smile. But I’d just shook my head, seeing the pain in his eyes and wrapped my arms around him. He’d hugged me back after a moment, rubbing my back softly as if he were trying to comfort me. And maybe he was, for all I know. After all, I’d been fighting back tears as I hugged him tightly, my face pressed against his chest. I knew I couldn’t cry. Sure, I was his little sister, but I needed to be strong. It was him who needed me right then, not the other way around like it usually was. It took a few beers that night, (and when I saw a few, I mean a few too many) but he did finally tell me what happened. How Zack had caught her at a restaurant while out with his girlfriend. How she was more than a little too friendly with a dude he’d never seen before. Fuming, Zack had left the restaurant and went to Brian’s immediately. The alcohol seemed to bring out conflicting emotions in Brian. He’d been clearly still extremely pissed off, but after a four-year relationship, understandably broken up.

“Yo,” he called back, breaking me from my thoughts. I heard the opening chords to “Enter Sandman” and I smiled.

He was sitting on the couch with nothing but a pair of shorts on, his hair a shaggy, wet mess from showering, with his beloved instrument perched on his lap. I sank into the seat opposite him on the couch, sighing loudly. The lack of sleep was beginning to catch up with me. I closed my eyes and took a bite of my apple. A few seconds later I cracked open my right eye, somehow feeling Brian’s eyes on me.

He smirked. “How was school?”

I closed my eyes again. “It was okay. I’m just really fucking tired.”

He laughed and I heard him stand up. “Gee, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, mister I-woke-up-whenever-I-wanted-to-and-sat-on-the-couch-playing-guitar-all-day. And me? I went to sleep after three and woke up before six, then went to take an exam and present a chemistry project, while I felt like a freakin’ zombie. I hate you.”

“No you don’t. Take that back or I won’t go buy you coffee right now.”

I cracked an eye open. “Starbucks?”

He began to walk away. “Hey, you said you hated me so…”

I sighed, which turned into a yawn, before getting up and hugging my brother tightly around the waist from behind.

“You are the bestest big brother a girl could ask for,” I told him.

He turned around with a slight smile and hugged me back. “And?”

“Um… I love you?”

He pulled away and narrowed his eyes.

I laughed. “Stop that. You know I love you. Oh, by the way, I just invited Megan to Matt’s tonight. If you care.”

He turned around, just as he was pulling a shirt over his head. “Oh really?”

I grinned. It was no secret to anyone, except for maybe Megan, that Brian liked her. She and I had been best friends for a long time. When we were little, she’d had a big crush on him. I’d always look at her, disgusted, and roll my eyes. Now, I constantly asked her if she liked him and she denied it every time. But I didn’t buy it. She had a habit of blushing and laughing quite a bit more than normal whenever he was around. I’d look at her, eyebrows raised, and she’d just shake her head, blushing even more.

Of course, I couldn’t say anything, because she knew exactly how I felt about Matt and I’d made her swear not to say anything to anyone - especially Brian. I was afraid of what he’d do if he knew. Either he’d be mad, or, he’d laugh. Thinking that I couldn’t possibly like Matt. His best friend. My “brother.” I couldn’t decide which would be worse.

But Megan was the only one that understood. Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy - they were like my brothers. But Matt? Matt was different.