Deceit Brings Fire

"Becca...."

Someone was tapping me on the arm. I frowned, refusing to open my eyes.

"Becca," he repeated, shaking me lightly.

I whined, cracking one eye open, before squeezing it shut again. The sun was far too bright. I felt the bed sink slightly as someone sat down, and I pulled the covers over my head. Everything hurt. And my pounding head was making me feel nauseous again.

Brian laughed. "Hey, I just came to give you something for your head. But I guess it feels fine, so I'll just..."

"Brian," I moaned, pulling the covers off of my head. I propped myself up against the headboard, trying to wake myself up. "Could you lower your voice please?"

I squinted my eyes at him, my eyes still not adjusted to the bright room. I reached my hand out and he put two pills in my hand, before handing me a glass of water. I swallowed the pills and then finished the glass of water, soothing my parched throat.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"What was that?" he cupped his hand around his ear, leaning toward me. "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite - "

I groaned, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. "Brian, I'm going to fucking kill you. If I throw up again, I'll make sure to do it all over you."

He chuckled. "Okay. I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll leave ya alone." He stood up and took the glass from the bedside table, before walking towards the door.

"Brian?" I said softly. I swung my legs over the bed, pulling on my sweatshirt that had somehow ended up on the floor.

He turned around, his hand on the doorknob, a slight smile on his lips. "Yes?"

"Please don't let me drink that much ever again."

He laughed. "That's what they all say. You'll be up and ready for round two in a few days. No worries."

I was staring at the floor. Just that little bit of moving around had my stomach feeling queasy again.

"You okay?"

When I didn't respond, Brian was back over to me. He ducked down, trying to look at my face.

"Do you feel sick?" he asked. I nodded.

He placed the back of his hand against my forehead and I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths while trying to fight off the nausea.

"Do you want some water?" he asked. I nodded. "I'll be right back."

He was back about a minute later and I took the cup gratefully. I took small sips in between my deep breaths and within a few minutes, I was feeling better.

"Did everyone stay here last night?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "They all left about an hour ago."

"Shit," I breathed, checking the time on my phone. It was 2:38 PM. "I slept forever, didn't I?"

I noticed then that I had a new text message. It was from Megan.

Call me when you wake up?

He laughed. "It's okay. You needed it." He paused. "But, uh, if you're feeling better, there's something I wanted to ask - tell you about."

I stared at him. It wasn't often that he sounded that uncomfortable or unsure of himself. Especially around me.

"What's up?" I said after a moment.

He hesitated, staring at the floor.

"Brian? You're scaring me."

He sighed. "Okay. It's not even that bad. I just - look, last night after you went to bed, Megan and I talked for awhile. And ya know, she was drunk and I - I don't know, we just... "

My stomach dropped. I couldn't help the small gasp that escaped my mouth.

"Aw, fuck. No, no, not that. I didn't sleep with her!"

I let out a breath. "Well shit, Brian. You sure made it sound like something - "

He groaned, standing up and ruffling his hair in frustration. "I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you. Look. Like I said, we were talking and she was drunk and she kissed me. Okay? And I - I just kissed her back, okay? I couldn't help it. I mean, I was a little buzzed too to be honest, so..."

He was pacing, now. Back and forth in front of me.

"So then, you know... we kissed some more. But I didn't want it to go too far, so then I, uh, pulled away and I told her, you know, 'I'm sorry, but we can't do this.' And then she just started crying and I didn't know what to do so I just - "

"Brian." I cut him. He stopped moving. "Stop... please. Breathe."

He let out a loud sigh and sat down next to me. We sat like that for a few minutes until his bouncing leg began to annoy me so much that I had to force it down with my own hand.

"So basically, " I began slowly, looking at him. "You and Megan kissed... a few times. You tried to stop it. She didn't want you to stop. She got upset. You comforted her. Then what happened?"

He was silent for a moment. I looked at him. He was staring at his fingers; playing with his nail.

"Brian. What the fuck? Why can't you talk to me?"

I was starting to get slightly annoyed. We told each other everything. I didn't understand why he was having such a hard time telling me this.

My stomach clenched. You have secrets too..., I reminded myself.

"Becca, look. You know that I like Megan. You've known that for awhile now."

He glanced over at me and I nodded.

"And I'm guessing that you also maybe knew that she had some kinda crush on me too. Or something like that. And I mean... I know it's probably really fucking weird and gross and awkward and shit, but - "

"You're right," I said. "I knew you guys liked each other and I knew that it was only a matter of time. I'm not mad at you... or her. I mean, yeah. It's weird. I'm not gonna lie. She's my best friend and you're my brother. It's just..."

I sighed and he looked at me.

"You don't like it," he murmured.

"No," I answered. "I mean yes." I groaned. "I didn't say that I didn't like it. It's just going to take some time for me to get used to it, you know? But I wouldn't hold you guys back from being together. I mean, you guys are two of the most important people in my life. I'm not a total bitch. I want you guys to be happy."

He laughed softly. "Not a total bitch..."

I smiled despite myself, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"I wanted to ask you something else, too. But I'm kind of running late now so it'll have to wait. The whole reason why I'm telling you all this is because last night I sorta asked her on a date. Like, tonight. And I - I wish I'd asked you about it first, but I wasn't thinking at the time and I -"

I let out a loud laugh. It had been awhile since I'd seen my brother this flustered, and to be honest, it was kind of entertaining.

"Brian, you need to chill the fuck out. Seriously. One, you can't be this nervous tonight around Megan or she'll leave your ass." I chuckled lightly at his expression. "Man, you're too easy. I'm just messing with you. But seriously, for the love of God, relax. Second, you don't need to ask my permission to ask out my friend. Even if she is my best friend. And even if you are my brother who usually tells me everything..."

I trailed off for good measure. He looked at me, and I rolled my eyes. "Yes. I'm joking. Since for some reason your sense of humor has gone and disappeared and left me with this anxious, psycho dude who - "

"Anyways," he said loudly, cutting me off. But his mouth twisted into a smile and he shook his head. "This whole conversation was basically to ask you if it's cool if I leave you here with Matt. 'Cause obviously I'm taking the car, and I wasn't really planning on going home first."

My stomach twisted, but this time not because of nausea. I knew that I was in Matt's guest room and that I was in his house, but somehow I'd temporarily forgotten that this also meant that he was here. And if Brian left, that meant that it would just be me and him. Alone.

"Becca? If you don't want to, I'm sure Matt will take you home. I just thought - "

"No, " I said quickly. "I mean, it's fine. No big deal."

He smiled. "Okay," he stood up. "Well, I kind of really need to get going. She, uh, Megan is probably wondering where I am."

"I'll give her a call," I answered. "She wanted me to call her anyway. I'm assuming it was to tell me... what you already told me."

He nodded and then looked away, not meeting my eyes. I didn't like how awkward things were all of a sudden.

"Brian?"

He looked at me. "Yeah?"

"Can I have a hug before you go?" I held my arms out, smiling innocently.

He smiled widely and bent over slightly to wrap his arms around me. He rubbed my back softly before pulling away.

"Have fun tonight, Bri," I told him. "She likes you already. You've got nothing to prove. Just be yourself."

He smirked. "Thanks, Bec."

I grimaced. "That sounded pretty lame, didn't it?"

He breathed out a laugh. "Little bit. But I kind of needed it, I think," he walked over to the door. "But thanks. Really. For, you know, understanding."

I smiled. "Love ya, bro."

"Love you too, sis."