Depresion

First things first, I am completely new at this. They’ve given me a handful of people I have to counsel. They are making a music video to the song ‘Fergalicious’ by Fergie. She supposedly quit the Black Eyed Peas. What kind of a rock band is named the Black Eyed Peas? I could’ve come up with a better name than that. I mean, come on, who comes up with this shit? And who in their right mind would name their band after a lucky vegetable?

Anyways, I am patiently waiting for my first patient. My mom warned me about becoming a therapist. She said there are a lot of crazy people out in the world. But did I listen to her? Hell no. I told her she was one of the crazy people.

I looked at my patient’s profile. William Smiley. He is the cameraman on this shoot. Okay, at least I know that much. And yes, I am the counselor for the whole cast. They said they would pay me and extra hundred dollars for every person if I took the job. I said, “ What the hell? It’s only for a few weeks. How bad could they be?” I mean, seriously, how bad could they be? Don’t they have to be sane to work this type of job anyway?

Deep in thought, I head the door creak. “Hello,” I said pleasantly.

“Hullo,” he said and walked in, shutting the door behind him.

This boy looked around 18. He had black hair and abnormally large ears. Though, they did fit his head. He was about 5’8. He walked across the room to the black leather couch.

“Having a bad day William?” I asked. His facial expression did not look like he was cheery at all. He looked downer than a horses face to be honest.

He sighed, “You can’t even imagine. And please, call me Will,”

“Okay, Will. Okay, so tell me about your day and the people you work with.”

“ This whole week has been complete hell. Try having a girl flirt with you while another girl who breathes fire down your neck and frequently tells you that you’re going to get fired everyday. How would that make you feel?”

I was alarmed by the anger and pain in his voice, “To be very blunt, I would kind of be very pissed off. And I would be very upset about it,”

“THANK YOU!” he said getting up, “At least someone agrees with me!”

I jumped at his reaction. Man, this guy needs to go into drama or something. He’s very emotional and dramatic for a guy.

“Okay, well, tell me more about these two girls that you work with. Let’s start with the one who always flirts with you.”

He sat down and took a deep breathe before speaking. “She’s this really annoying girl who’s utterly gorgeous. She has this huge crush on me. But I have no idea why. I’m not good looking and I’m stupid. I’m a fucking drop out from college. I couldn’t take it. I lasted maybe a semester. Then I decided to quit. But she’s super pretty and gets on my nerves all the time. But sometimes I feel the same way about her. She can be really great sometimes. But most times, she’s a pain in the neck and forgets almost everything that her boss tells her.”

He couldn’t really calm down or sit still, almost like as if he were nervous about his whole session.

“Mhm. Will, I can tell you’re anxious about this whole thing. But I keep everything in confidence. It’s against my code, if you will, to tell anyone about any of this.”

He relaxed a bit. “Well, okay. She will always come up to me and asks me how I am. I will never forget the first day we met. She actually came up to me and asked me what my sign was.” He said and chuckled, “She’ll always ask me how I am. But she always will forget her orders from the….FIRE BREATHING DRAGON! She’ll make me mess up all the time and then I get in trouble for it. Like today, she came up to me and tickled me in the sides and made me mess up the shot. I got yelled at for it, because ‘I’m the cameraman and I should’ve been actually working rather than flirting’.” He said, imitating the ‘Fire Breathing Dragon’.

“It’s like sometimes I feel like she’s just wanting me to get yelled at. But she has these big, brown, innocent eyes that lets me know that she’s always sorry. That she doesn’t try to get me in trouble. She doesn’t crave for my attention all the time. She’s mainly there to help me get the shot right so that I don’t get yelled at. She’s actually really sweet and caring. But no matter what she does, she’ll never get in trouble for anything because she’s the 2nd director.”

“So, you have some really different feeling about this girl. For the other one, I can tell that you really, really hate her. But, I can’t really blame you for hating her.” God, this Fire Breathing Dragon sounds like a pain in the ass…God help me.

“Yeah, she’s made me cry a few times. I was driving home early one day, feeling like I got the shit kicked out of me. She insults me all the time. Mostly about my ears. I know they’re big. You don’t have to rub it in. But the other girl calls me up just to see if I’m okay. That right there is why I think she’s a very good person and why I forgive her all the time.”

“So, she insults you a lot. How does that make you feel?” I asked. I hated that question. But, sometimes you have to say it. No matter how corny it sounds.

“Like I’m worthless,” he said quietly. I wrote that down on my pad, along with some other stuff that he said. I feel kind of bad for him. In a way I want to hug him and tell him everything’s going to be all right. Man, this guy is getting on my emotional side.

“Are there any other people at you’re job?”

“Oh God yes! There are these two, no three complete faggots at work. One is the makeup artist, Gerard. Then there’s Bert. Bert is the hairstylist. He can’t style anything. He and Gerard flirt all the time. I mean, I’m not a homophobe, but they’re disgusting. It’s like watching a gay porno everyday. And then there’s Pierre,” he sighed.

“Well, what about Pierre? He can’t be worse than the one who insults you can he?”

“He is much worse! Imagine having someone going around critizing your clothes while speaking in a fake French accent. ‘Ewww! Youre shirt iz so last year!’ ‘Oh my God! Someone, please cova diz child’s eas!’ ‘Somevon get meh some coffeh!’ he said in a French accent standing up in fury.

“And then!” he said pacing, “Pierre is always calling for Bert and Gerard! We’ve had to get rid off half of our footage because you hear him yelling, ‘Oh Bert! Oh Gerard!’. He’s obsessed with them! Oh! And did I ever mention his name isn’t even Pierre? His real name is Frank. He got fired as a backup dancer and got switched to wardrobe! It’s enough to drive you insane!” he was yelling now. He startled me as I was writing this down. This guy really did need my help. With all that he has to put up with. Yeesh.

“So, you have some hard times at work and a few people-“

“No! That isn’t even all of it! Ray and Bob also got fired for being backup dancers for Fergie. Oh God, Fergie. She is sooo conceited . She’s always calling for Bert and Gerard constantly to fix her hair or her makeup because she’s obsessed about her appearance. Oh, and let’s not forget about Ray and Bob. Man, I feel sorry for them. Bob got the job as janitor. But he always is holding something. Every time you look up, it’s something different. It’s some weird habit of his and he talks to the mice of the building. But I think that’s because he’s lonely in this world of evil and despair. Or, that’s how he puts it. But Ray, he has to obey the orders of the dragon. He brings her coffee every 5 minutes. The word is around the set is that he’s her pimp. But who knows really. It’s just a stupid rumor. I think that’s it.”

“Okay, well-“

“No wait!” he said, standing still instead of pacing. Which I was very releaved. He was making me nautious.

“How many people could there possibly be!” I said louder than intended.

“More than you could imagine. Trust me on that one. But there’s this guy! He’s the producer; the guy who made everything possible. His name is Mikey and he’s sooo random! He’ll sing about he money he makes and how ‘He’s got the power’. But, the only reason Gerard got the job as makeup artist is because the producer is Gerard’s brother. How gay is that? Oh, and it was also Gerard’s idea to have Bert tag along. I blame him for my insanity.”

Yeah, this guy sounded pretty insane to me. But who could blame him really? “Is that it?” I asked after a long silence, just incase he forgot anyone else. If that was even possible.

“Yes, that’s it,” he said sitting down.

“WILL! GET YOU’RE ASS IN HERE! NOW!”

He jumped up off the couch. “Shit, that’s the dragon. My session must be over. Bye.”

He left so fast that I couldn’t even respond.

I sat in my chair analyzing what just happened. ‘These are all the people I’m going to have to counsel? No wonder they paid me a hundred dollars extra’.