Telling Her She Can't

We didn't talk much for the rest of that night. I mostly avoided him, not wanting to talk to him after my sporadic confession. The next weekend, Michael's parents had gone out of town. He was ungrounded and he had a party at his house. Michael had invited me, but I had declined the invitation. We spent a couple hours together, that didn't suddenly make us friends.

Cole, Laura, and Chase had all gone to bed early that night, tired from their day at the zoo. While they slept, I was on the roof, listening to music as I smoked a cigarette. To my right, I could see the party going on. There were cars lined up all over the street and the house was full.

I hadn't paid much attention to it until I heard my name called. When I looked down, I saw Michael, standing there with a smile on his face. "Come over, Noelle," he called. I shook my head, and he begged. "I'm not leaving until you come over for at least an hour."

I still denied, but he sat down on the cement. I rolled my eyes, and finally agreed. He couldn't miss his own party. I changed quickly and went downstairs. When I opened the front door, Michael was standing right on the other side, still smiling. He assured me I would have fun and before we went in the house, he took my hand.

The confusion was probably obvious on my face, but he didn't bring it up. He just held onto my hand as we walked through the house, ignoring the looks from the people we passed.

The music was loud, so when he spoke to me, he stood very close. His hands were constantly on my body, either my arm or my waist or my back. We stood in the cramped kitchen, looking at the bottles of liquor lined up.

"Jack and coke is fine," I told him.

"Yo Beck, hand me the Makers Mark!" someone yelled. Michael turned and handed whoever it was the bottle.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Everyone here calls me Beck, from my last name," he began to explain. "There's two Michael's in our group. Me and Michael Harrison. Everyone calls him Harris. But he's not as nice as me, so stay away from him."

Someone tried to get by us, so Michael moved in front of me. We were close, his front was completely flush against my back. I felt his hands go to my waist, holding me in place. We had room to separate again but Michael didn't move and for some reason, I didn't want him to.

I felt his breath fall to my neck. His right hand moved to my thigh, going to the exposed skin. "You're beautiful," he murmured. I turned in his embrace to where we were facing each other. His hands remained around me, but they went to my behind, holding me there against the cold granite counter.

He pulled me closer to him, which I didn't know was possible, and our hips were touching completely. One of his hands moved up, moving under my shirt. He ran his fingers along my skin and began to move his face closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my lips. All I wanted was to kiss him. I wanted to feel his warmth and touch him.

"Beck, is there- oh shit," we heard someone say, which caused us to jump apart. I ran my hand through my hair and took my cup from the counter. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Michael cut him off. "Yeah, what's up, Ben?"

"Are there any extra cups in here for beer pong?"

Michael threw the plastic bag of cups at the guy and then he walked off. Turning back to me, Michael gave me an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry. Do you... Do you want to go upstairs with me?"

"No... No I shouldn't have come here," I murmured, starting to walk off. That little delay had given my mind time to catch up with my body.

What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't kiss Michael Beckford. I couldn't be with him, I shouldn't have been at his party. This wasn't me and it never would be.

He grabbed my arm, stopping me. "Wait, I'm sorry, that was stupid of me. I'm sorry, please don't leave, just stay. I won't try anything, I swear, Noelle."

The look he was giving me seemed genuine. His big brown puppy dogs eyes were enough to make me want to give in. He had just gotten caught up in the moment, just like I had. With a sigh, I nodded. "Okay, I'll stay."

"I really like you, El," he informed. "I don't know why, but I just do."

I pursed my lips together and nodded. "I think I like you, too."

He smiled and motioned for me to follow him. We barely moved a step, when someone opened the back door. "Hey Beck, Jason and CJ are fighting!"

Michael groaned and looked at me. "I'll be right back, please don't leave. I really want to talk to you."

I nodded and sat down on the couch while he went out back. A couple minutes later, someone sat next to me. It was someone I didn't recognize.

"Hey, I'm Michael. People call me Harris, though," he said.

This was the other Michael. "I'm Noelle," I said back.

Before he could say anything else, the guy from earlier, Ben, walked by. "Don't even, Harris, that's Beck's girl," he informed, then walked off.

I furrowed my eyebrows as Harris looked at me. He cocked an eyebrow and I shook my head. "No, no, I just live next door," I told him.

We started talking and I didn't understand why Michael said he was a bad guy, he was very nice. He told me a lot about Michael and their group of friends and about who he was. About half an hour had passed when I realized I was still with Harris and I had yet to see Michael.

"Do you know where Michael is?" I asked.

He shook his head, then looked around the room. "Hey John, where's Beck?"

The guy thought for a second and then pointed upstairs. "He's with Casey in his room."

I knew who Casey was. It was his ex girlfriend and she was beautiful. I sighed to myself as Harris gave me an apologetic look. "I uh, I'm gonna get going," I informed while standing up.

"Yeah okay, do you want me to tell Beck anything?"

I shook my head. "No, don't bother. I'll uh, I'll see you around."

Just as I passed the staircase, I saw Michael walking down it, with Casey behind him. His eyes met mine and his widened. I started walking quicker.

"Noelle, wait!" he shouted, picking up his pace down the steps. I waved him off and opened the front door. It shut after me and only seconds later, I heard it reopen. "Noelle, stop, it's not what it looks like!"

He caught up to me, catching my arm like before. "Michael, just let me go!"

"Don't go," he whispered, pulling me closer to him.

I pushed him back. "Who are we kidding?" I asked. "This isn't me, this isn't who I am. But this is clearly who you are. The party, the girls who all want you and hate me, the drama, it's all you. And I don't want any part of that life, that's why I stayed away from you!"

"No, it's not! It's not who I want to be. I don't want any of it, I want you, Noelle."

"Oh? Is that why you were with Casey? I'm not playing your games, I'm ending this before it even starts."

"Nothing happened with Casey! She's drunk, I was trying to get her to lay down."

I shook my head, deciding not to believe him. "Harris told me this was your thing. I'm not a pawn in your game, I'm not in this, Michael."

He laughed bitterly. "God, you believed him? He's an asshole, Noelle, he's just trying to get you to sleep with him."

"Like you did?" I shot back. "Please just stay away from me."

I began to walk again, this time I didn't hear Michael's following foot steps. "You can't just walk away," he called after me.

Without turning around, I called back. "Watch me."