Remains of My Wasted Youth

We lay for a few hours and then there was a knock at the door. Melissa goes to answer it. I lay stroking Sebastian. I soon see Alex and Jack walking through. Alex comes over to me and hugs me. He then kisses me. Sebastian was tugging at his leg. I laugh. Alex’s dog was the cutest dog ever.
“We’re leaving at 7”
“But I have nothing to wear...”
“We’ll go back to yours and we will come back at meet these two at 7” Alex says. I nod. I slide on a pair of Melissa’s shorts and a jumper and walk out with Alex. When we get to mine I quickly run up the stairs. Alex is trailing behind me. I open the door. Alex walks in and sits on the couch.
“I’m gonna have to take a shower. I look a mess”
“You look lovely, and okay. Mind if I watch TV?”
“Knock yourself out” I kiss his cheek and go into my bathroom. I turn on the shower and slip out of my clothes. I get into the shower and was my hair and body. I get out and wrap myself in a towel. I walk into my room and look through the dresses I have. I pick out one which was cream with black polka dots and had a black belt. I then get out a pair of black heels. I get out a black clutch bag and place it on my bed. I then blow dry my hair slightly so my hair is wavy. I slip on my dress and smooth it down. I slip my heels on and put my make up on. I slip my make up into my clutch along with my phone and money. I look in the mirror and decide that's how good as it as going to get. I walk out and Alex had changed from his clothes. I smile. Whatever he wore he still looked amazing. He took my hand. He kissed my cheek.
“You look amazing Madds, boy am I lucky to have you”
“Your not so bad yourself Mr Gaskarth” We get into the car and make our way over to Jacks. Alex beeps when we get there and my beautiful best friend walked out with Jack. I smiled when they got into the car. When we got to the club I held onto Melissa. Alex and Jack went to greet all the people he knew that were there. They then called us over.
“Guys, our amazing girlfriends. Maddison and Melissa” Alex says as he pulls me closer to him. Melissa wraps her arms around Jack as she does the same with him. We all walk in and go to the VIP part of the club. Rian and Zack were sat there. They got up to greet me and Melissa. I hugged both of them. The rest of their crew were sat there as well. We got introduced to them and Alex got me, Melissa and Jack a drink. He handed me an alcho pop. I thank him and kiss him on the cheek. I take a sip of my drink and smile at Melissa. We all sit down. Melissa sits on Jack’s lap and Alex pulled me closer to him as her wraps his arms around my waist.
“Your hand must love my waist” I say as I wink at him
“I think it does” He laughs “Your dancing later right?”
“Of course! As long as you are” His hand found my thigh. I didn’t care so I didn’t tell him to move it.
“Of course I will. Just making sure I would have you coming with me” He smiles. He leaves his hand in place where it was and I drunk the rest of my drink quickly. “Calm down sugar, You’ll be drunk by the time you have drunk 4 of them” Alex laughs
“That’s the point” He shakes my head and passes me a shot. Me and Alex drink down one each and then another. I looked to find Melissa and she was on the dancefloor with Jack. Most people got up to go to the dancefloor and I looked to Alex.
“Just wait until the dancefloor dies down. We’ll go dance then. We can always just dance up here as well... or... I have a better idea”
“And what would that be Mr Gaskarth?” I giggle and he schooches closer to me.
“This” And with that Alex had crashed his lips against mine passionately. I kissed back as forceful as he was kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer by my waist. It was soon more than kissing and I was making out with Alex in the middle of the club. No one paid attention to us. It was a club. People would do crazier things in the middle of the dancefloor. I found myself soon rising from my seat and sitting on his lap not breaking the kiss at anytime. He holds my waist as he begins to kiss me softer but still passionately. He pulls away to only take a breath and kisses me again. I play with his hair as I carry on the kiss. He pulls away from me then kisses my forehead.
“Should we go dance?” I ask him as he nods at me. We run down the stairs to the dancefloor and join Melissa, Jack, Cassadee and Rian.
“Hey, finally decided to come up for air?” Jack says as he nudges Alex. I laugh. I give Melissa a quick hug then start to dance. Rian comes up with more drinks for us. I drink as I start to dance. I could tell it was going to get crazy. I sing along with the music along with Melissa while dancing close to Alex. He wraps an arm around me from behind and uses the other one to hold his drink. I lean into him and he holds me to make sure I don’t fall. Alex kissed my cheek and I could smell the alcohol on him. Anyone could smell the alcohol on him from a mile away. You could tell that his was drunk or on his way to it. He squeezed me but it was too tight and I pushed him off a little. I saw him drunk before, but not this drunk. Melissa walked back to us after getting a drink.
“Not one bit tipsy yet?” I asked her. She shook her head. We used to get pissed at the parties we went to but nothing was happening. Rian, Cassadee and Zack were leaving so I hugged them goodbye. After a while Melissa and Jack came up to say goodbye. Melissa hugged me and waved to Alex. I gave Jack a quick hug and he walked off with Melissa. Alex come back with more drinks. He was giggling and nearly tripping. I shook my head as he approached me. I took my drink off him. He downed his and I started to get worried about him. He obviously could tell something was up.
“What’s up princess?”
“Don’t act sweet with me Alex. You're getting way too drunk. Babe, Please don’t do this. I don’t think I could stand you being sick everywhere”
“Then what do you say we go back to mine? It’s more quiet and I’ll sober up quicker. You can stay the night” I nod at him and he goes outside. There was a car waiting and we got in it. When we got back to his Alex didn’t waste time. He had me by the waist kissing me as soon as we walked into the door.
“Alex” I say as I put my hands on his chest. He moves from my lips to my neck. He started to kiss it. I wanted to stop him, tell him that he shouldn’t do it but honestly I was enjoying it. “A-Alex” He then looks up at me.
“What?” I then look at him and shake my head.
“Nothing” And with that I feel like I gave him the green light. He went back to kissing my neck. He leans me against the wall. I wasn’t going to disagree with him now. I couldn’t be bothered to argue with Alex when he was like this and I wasn’t really annoyed or anything anyway. As Alex was kissing my neck my phone kept ringing me. I tried to push Alex off. “Alex! Get off me!”
“Madds, don’t”
“Alex, get off me. Now!” And with that my phone stopped ringing. I needed to get to my phone.
“Maddy!”
“Alex! Get the fuck off me. Now. Before I have to slap you and don’t think I won’t. I may seem weak but I can do damage” And with that he lets go. “Thank you” I pick up my phone out of my bag. “I need to go to the toilet” I check my phone and it was Melissa. I dial her number, waiting for her to answer.
“Hello?” Melissa answered. She sounded so upset.
“Melissa... You have been crying! What the fuck happened?” I looked in the mirror at my neck. Alex had given me a love bite.
“I kind of had an argument with jack, and now I feel terrible” She started to sob.
“Awh, Melissa. I’m sure you two will be fine. He cares about you too much to let you slip away!” I say. I stroked my neck. I saw as the bruise was starting to appear. Alex then knocked on the door. “Go away Alex! I’ll talk to you when you're not acting like a dick” I shake my head.
“You alright with Alex?” Melissa asks
“He’s too drunk. He was trying to get me into bed. I wouldn’t mind because I love him and that but he’s drunk and wouldn’t remember it. I want it to be special” I say as I sigh and sit down on the toilet. “What did jack do then?” I asked her.
“Well we got in and we just started making out then he undid my dress, and took off his top, then he took off his trousers, and I knew he wanted to go all the way, but I want to wait, I’m not making the same mistake twice” Melissa had lost it at a party.
“Aww, I’m sorry bubs. Boys huh? Can’t live with them” I laugh at myself a little. Alex was still banging on the door. “Alex, Just sit down and I will talk to you later, be patient” I shake my head.
“‘I know, jack apologised to me but I’m not going to speak to him till he’s sober” She says
“Good!” Alex started moaning again. That boy needs to shut up.
“Maddy you need to tell alex, or this will just keep happening” Melissa says. I started to sigh. I knew she was right. She was always right. “Please, I’m going now, love you”
“Love you too” I say. She cuts off and then with that I unlock the door to find a drunk Alex waiting for me. “Alex, come sit with me” I take his hand and sit next to him on his couch. “Look, I love you. You know I do but I don’t want this”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“This. The way you want to sleep with me when you’re drunk. You know my situation. You know you're the first boy I have ever been with. If you weren’t drunk, I might of actually slept with you. It’s just the fact that you wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. I don’t want that. The fact you would of taken that part of my life away from me and not remember it. That would hurt me so much”
“Does that mean you’re thinking about sleeping with me?” He says as he looks at me. I wasn’t going to lie. I slowly nodded at him. He moves closer to me. “I won’t hurt you. I wouldn’t think about it. I’m not going to lose you. I love you so much” As he kisses me. I wrap my arms around him as he lays me down. The memory brought me back to the first time I kissed him.
“Alex, when you’re sober, I’ll think about sleeping with you. I want it to be special, not a drunken fuck” Alex slips his hands behind me and places them on my back.
“I understand baby. I’m sorry I was drunk, well I am drunk. It’s just what I’m like. You might have to get used to it” He smiles at me. His smile made me feel so happy and fluffy inside. I lifted my hands and started to play with his hair. I loved his hair. I loved him to be honest. Everything about this boy was amazing. Apart from when he was a drunken dickhead. He moved so he was laying against me. He wrapped his arms around me and we laid on the sofa. Soon I hear Alex’s cute snores. I fall asleep myself and scootch closer to him before I finally fall into my usual deep sleep. I wake up the next morning still in Alex’s arms. Alex was already awake and was stroking my hair.
“Hey there” I give him a sleepy smile. He moves his hand to my neck and strokes the bruise. It was bigger this morning.
“What happened?” Alex asks, concerned
“You, Mr. You were kissing my neck last night and ended up giving me a love bite. You were drunk as fuck. I was going to slap you”
“I’m so sorry babe” He says as he kisses my forehead. He moves the hair from my eye behind my ear.
“I remember something though,what we were talking about before we fell asleep” He looks at me. “Maddy, did you mean it? When you said you were thinking about sleeping with me?” I nod at him.
“Of course I meant it. Alex, I love you. You are my first love. Isn’t it called making love? And I love you. I just don’t want to give up so much and get hurt”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. When you're ready babe” I look at him. Was I ready now? Was I ever going to be ready? I was ready last night. I smiled at him. As long as he wasn’t drunk, I was ready. He looks back at me. I wrap my arms around his neck and kissed him on his lips. I get nearer to his ear and start to whisper.
“I’m ready Alex, I have been for a few days. You were just too drunk. I want to to be special” I pull away and he smiles at me. He kisses me like he did in the club. At least I knew this time he meant it and it was the truth, not that he was drunk.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you” He kisses my forehead and I nod at him.
“Of course I am sure. Shut up and kiss me” I say as I pull his head nearer to me and kiss him. He didn’t argue. Who would? He holds me close again.
“You said you want it to be special. I’m going to make it special. Not just here” He smiles at me as if he has a plan.
“Alex Gaskarth, what are you up to?” I smile as I look at him.
“You’ll see. I can be romantic when it comes to it” He kisses my cheek.
“I never doubted you on that”
“Well, that’s good then. Most girls underestimate me. They don’t think I can be romantic”
“I’m sure you are. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover even if the cover is extremely good looking” He laughs. “See, I can be a flirt”
“You sure can Miss Coleman” He smiles at kisses me softly again. “Do you want a coffee?” I nod at him. He lets go of me and I stand up. I smooth out my dress and walk to the kitchen with Alex. He starts making coffee and I jump up to sit on the counter. He passes me a cup and comes to stand next to me. I open my legs so he can stand in between them. He smiles. He puts his coffee down and wraps his arms around my waist. I put mine down next to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and start to play with his hair. I lean my forehead against his. I drink down my coffee then get a text from Melissa.
“I have told Jack. I also told my parents. House hunt?<3” I smile and reply quickly.
“Of course! I’m at Alex’s. Tell me when. I’m just going to wear my dress from last night<3” I giggle.
“Whats up with you?” Alex says as he rubs my back with his hand that was on my waist.
“Melissa. She’s moving in with me. She’s coming to live out here. Well we are going to live together. We’re gonna look for a bigger apartment or something” I smile and kiss him passionately. He pulls back and smiles at me.
“So, She’s staying?” I nod. “And what is she going to do for work?”
“Work with me. I already spoke to my company. She’s going to do interviews and stuff with me and write the blog with me. We’re going to a joint blog”
“Madds, I’m so pleased for you! You obviously missed her. Aw, bless you both!” He smiles at me.
“We’re going to look for a place today. I’ve got money saved for a bigger house and I think Melissa’s parents are going to give her the money for it. Mine and her parents are going to sort out the paperwork part. We obviously will have to go visit our families a few times but that’s the price we pay by moving away from them” I smile at the thought that everything was going to plan. I loved it. My life was so perfect at this moment. I sat at Alex’s with him until Melissa turned up. Jack drove us to a possible place. I walked up the steps with Melissa and the boys. Melissa got a call so me and the boys walked in as Melissa finished the call. I smiled. The place was decorated perfectly with beige and brown colours. Melissa joined us. We walked into the kitchen which was roomy and still had beigey walls. We walked into the next room which was the family room and was an extension. It was also spacy and had enough room for all our stuff. I looked out towards the back yard and there was a patch of garden. I would actually have a garden. That’s the problem with apartments. There was also decking. I smile at Melissa and you could tell she liked it. We ran up the stairs and there was a master bedroom. There was also two smaller rooms. There was two bathrooms as well. I sat on a bed with Melissa as the boys were downstairs looking around.
“It’s nice. Really nice” Melissa says as she sighs.
“It’s nice, but it we want? I don’t think it’s us. If this is going to make any sense but we are more modern. I like it and all” I say as I look at her. She nods at me.
“There’s a basement” She says hopefully
“Think about how much money it would take to re-decorate to make it ours. The colours and stuff just aren’t us”
“It has potential” and with that I nod.
“Definitely potential” and with that the boys come back upstairs. I smile when I see them. Alex and Jack launch themselves to us and jump onto the bed we were sitting on. We all sat in a line on the small bed. I cuddled into Alex and Jack had his arms around Melissa. “Look at us all” I say as I smile
“What are you girls going to do now?” Alex asks
“Well, we think it has potential but we’re not too sure” Melissa says
“We have a few houses to look at but this house will be on top of the list because it’s exactly the right size” I say as I lean further into Alex.

2 weeks later and we were moving into our new home. The visa was done and Melissa had passed everything. She was working with me writing the blog and doing the interviews. We had our shared office and life was really looking up! Jack and Alex were helping us move in. Melissa’s mum had sorted a plane to bring all her stuff to America and Jack had gone to pick that up with a few others in a couple of vans. Alex had helped me pack everything into boxes from my house while Melissa and Jack were moving her stuff into the house. When Alex and I got to the house Jack helped us with the boxes into the house. Melissa had already started to put pictures and art and all sorts of stuff around the house and it was starting to come together. Melissa had taken one of the rooms and started to put the office together. We made the master bedroom an office as we then both had the same sized bedrooms. We didn’t care what bedrooms we had so I just went into the other room. Alex follows after me with a box named “Maddison’s Bedroom” and placed it on the floor of my bedroom. My bed was already placed in there.
“Is it big enough for two?” Alex asked as he wrapped his arms around me laying his chin on my shoulder.
“I’m sure we will find out” I laugh and he kisses me on the cheek. After a few hours the boys leave.

The next couple of days seemed perfect. The boys were going to Japan in two days and Me and Melissa had to work. We had a double office. Melissa was up the top in the loft conversion and I had the bottom floor. I was reading through comments on the blog when a pen starts to fall. Melissa had threw it. I catch with my hand. I look up to see her leaning over the balcony. I sighed and gave her a look. “What?” I ask.
“I can’t think of what to write” She says as she groans.
“Well think! The deadline is tomorrow” I sigh. The office phone rings so I go to answer it. “Hello Maddison Coleman speaking, how can I help?” I look back up and Melissa wasn't there.
“Hi, Maddison. Have you and Melissa finished for this week?” It was our boss.
“No Sir, we will be done by tonight, I can promise you!”
“It better be done Maddison. I’m taking your word for it”
“It will sir”
“Good” He cuts off and I go to look back at the computer screen. I start to type but I also, now didn’t have anything to write.
“Fuck you, Melissa” I say as I laugh to myself. I stare at the screen. Melissa comes shooting into the room.
“Get your bag. We’re going out. Get in the car” She says. I look at her. I couldn’t be bothered to argue so I followed. Melissa drove to Alex’s first then Jacks. She made her way to a small beach not a lot of people knew around her. Alex and Jack were just as confused as I was but they played along. When we got there Jack and Alex pulled their tops off as if Melissa had already told them what she wanted to do. Melissa began to take the top layer of her clothes off. I shook my head but done the same. It was such a spur of the moment thing. Jack grabbed Melissa’s hand and ran towards the sea. Alex looked at me and stretched his hand out. I took it and ran with him. We just swam around for a little and after around half an hour we made our way back home. I went into the shower and when I got out I changed into pyjamas and made my way to my computer which was still on as new post. I began to write.
“Almost everyone has a normal routine that they follow and they don’t want to break. That used to be me. That was until my best friend came to visit and move it. Ever since she was here it has been the most fun I have had in my life. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be with my amazing boyfriend and I wouldn’t of had so much fun like I have been having, especially the abnormal things we all do when she is here and to be honest I wouldn’t trade her for the world! She took me, my boyfriend and her boyfriend to a small beach near our house earlier today. We didn’t know where we was going apart from her. We ran into the sea when it was dark. For the first time I let all my thoughts go and just enjoyed myself.

It taught me a valuable lesson. Don’t plan ahead. Live for now, not for later. Let everyday take you where it goes and go with the flo. Don’t be scared to try new things. Share moments that are special and dear, especially with your loved ones like I did today. Who knows where you’ll be in 5 or 10 years? And who actually cares? You shouldn’t. Live your life. You're only young once and you should take full advantage of it. Love and live life. It’s too short to not enjoy. Go out and meet new people. Make a statement to people and tell the people who don’t like it to go stick it where the sun doesn’t shine because at the end of the day, you are you and the people who love you, love you for YOU. Don’t change to fit what society thinks you should look like. Most importantly, Love life. I hope you took this all in and I hope you choose to follow.
-Maddison”

I smile. I go downstairs and begin to watch a film. Melissa soons joins me. “What time are we going to see the boys tomorrow?” They will soon be leaving and we promised we would see them. I didn’t want to say bye.
“I’m meeting Jack at 11, you?” Melissa says as she slouches on the couch.
“Same” I say with a nod.

The next day I woke up early so I decided to get ready. Alex was coming over to our house at 11. I wanted to look approachable is this was the last time I was going to see him before he went over to Japan. Japan, I say over in my head. Too far away from him but even Essex was too far away. I got into the shower and let the hot water rain on me. When I got out I walked into my room and picked out a pair of jeans and a pink tank top. I put on underwear then slipped on my clothes. I looked at my ratty hair I should've done something with when I got the shower. “Shit” I say to myself. I quickly dry it with a blowdryer and then run the straighteners through it before plating it down my back. Once I had my makeup done and my toms on the doorbell went. I ran downstairs and was happy to open the door to alex standing in his sunglasses. He takes them off and hugs me tightly. I hug him back just happy that I’m seeing him before he leaves the continent. He might as well be flying to the moon with how far away his going.
“Hey you” He says as he lets go of me. He walks in and I close the door behind him.
“Hey” We walk into the living room and he sits next to me on a sofa.
“Listen, there’s something I’ve gotta talk to you about” He sounded so serious. It kinda scared me if I was honest.
“Right” I say as I sit forward awaiting for him to talk.
“When I get back I’m coming right here to take you out to dinner, my treat. We haven’t had a proper date yet. I want to take you out and just show you off and make it really special” He says as he smiles at me. A wave of relief crashed over me as I smiled back.
“I’m not objecting to that” I smile. I knew what he meant though. What I told him before, about sleeping with him. I didn't exactly care. I'd been with him at least 3 weeks. He leans in to kiss my cheek. I move my head so he kisses my lips.
"Cheeky bitch" He laughs at me.
"It's why you love me" I wink and kiss him again. He smiles and then leans back.
"Just gonna tweet" Alex gets his phone out of his pocket. "That dick!" Alex says.
"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned.
"Melissa and Jack have been fucking drinking. He put a picture on. We have a flight in 5 hours. I gotta pick him up in an hour" He shakes his head.
"Want me to call Melissa?"
"Would you? I would just lose it if I spoke to her"
"That's fine" I get my phone and begin to call Melissa. “come on Melissa, Answer the bloody phone” I say as I wait for her to answer.
“hello”’ I hear Melissa’s voice.
“you do realise jack’s due on a flight in 5 hours and alex is coming to collect him in 1 hour, I don’t think drinking going to be good” I sigh and I look at Alex who was becoming distressed.
“how did you know I’ve been drinking?”
“jack posted a picture on twitter, alex is going to murder you!’
‘don’t worry, I’ll sober us up, can you come and collect me though?” She asked me. I sighed.
“Sure, I’ll pick you up when Alex comes to pick up jack” She seems thankful.
“Thank you!” And with that Melissa has gone. I look at Alex. He was quiet and he kept pacing back and forth. “for god’s sake Alex. Would you stop that? You’re making me all jittery” I sigh.
“Come on, let’s go now, I might as well get him and try to sober him up myself. Melissa has done enough”
“Hey! She may of done something a little stupid but she didn’t mean to. Give her a break. She just wants to have fun with her boyfriend” I say. I scowl at him. This wasn’t like him. I followed him out the door and we made our way to Jacks. When we get there Alex and Melissa start to argue. I walk in and place my bag down. I didn’t want to hear them argue at each other.All I remember was Melissa saying something so cruel and all I could do was stand still, frozen.
“so it’s alright for you to get drunk and hurt my best friend is it?” I just wanted to get out of there. I said my goodbyes to Alex but it was just a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He didn't even look me in the eyes.

When we got to Japan myself, Cassadee and Melissa made our way to the venue.We stood to the side of the stage with Matt. He told us this was the last song. I got excited. When they come off Alex didn’t follow the other boys. He went the other way towards We Are The In Crowd. Melissa and Jack said their hellos to each other but something I saw just drowned it out. My tears could drown out what I saw. Alex. Kissing. Not me. They weren’t my lips. They were Tay’s. I shook my head as the tears fell down my cheek. He was cheating on me. I feel hand on my back. I turn to see Melissa. Jack joined her. “I can’t do it. This is why I kept off having a boyfriend for so long. And my first fucking boyfriend happens to be a rockstar. My mum said not to trust him. She told me” I broke down. I cling onto Melissa. She rubs my back. She then lets go of me and walks across the stage. “Melissa! What the fuck?” I scream. Alex pulls away from Tay and looks to me. “Fuck” I say to myself. He then looks at Melissa.
“Come on Maddy, let’s go over. I’m so sorry” Jack says. We both run over.
“How fucking dare you, you think it’s fun? Tugging on a girls heartstrings?” Melissa says or should I say shout.I couldn’t bare the sight of both of them. Tay and Alex. The moment kept going over in my mind.I pulled on her jacket. When Melissa got heated, she was bad and you couldn’t stop her.
“shut the fuck up” Alex shouted at Melissa.
”you’re the biggest cunt I know, I can’t believe I ever met you.”I was so shocked by it all
”you’re such a whore you know that?’” alex shouted and then Melissa slapped Alex around the face. I begin to walk off with Melissa before walking back to him.
“In Case that wasn’t all clear. It’s over Alex. All of it. You don’t need to pretend anything anymore. The stupid girl is out of your life now. Hope you have a happy life. Don’t bother talk to me again.So much for fucking love!” I shout through my tears. I run back to Melissa who began to walk me to the toilets.We walk in and Melissa made sure no one was in here with us.You didn’t want to get into anything with the tabloids. Even I didn’t want to stitch Alex up with it. “Melissa, why was I so fucking stupid?!” I begin to wipe off the make up that had run down my cheeks from when I was crying.
“You weren’t stupid”
“When he got back, w-we were gonna” And I lost it again. Melissa hugs me tightly.
“Gonna what Maddison?” She asked me, concerned.
“I was going to sleep with him, when he got back. We planned it. He was going to take me out to dinner and we would go back to his and...oh god” I say leaning against the sinks in the toilets. Melissa stood in front of me.
“Well,you better think yourself lucky you found out now”
“I gave everything I could to get him to stay before then. I seriously thought he was the... well, the one. He was my first love and don’t they say first loves always stay with you?”
“That’s true. Maddison, I know it sounds so stupid but you have to get over him. You're gonna see him around the town and it’s not gonna be good if you're in love with this dude that has broken your heart”
“That’s because I do love him. He’s been funny from day one and he’s been agitated for the past couple of days. I thought he was just losing interest in me... which is why I planned for when he came home”
“You don’t have to explain yourself Maddy,he hurt you. You're allowed to want to kill him. You're allowed to feel pain” I spot Jack out the door looking for Melissa.
“Go to him. I can sort myself out” I say
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure, Just go to him” I let off a small smile. Melissa hugs me one last time and runs out the door to him. I look into the mirror. I looked as Melissa talks to Jack. I decided to somehow slip out the bathroom before Melissa saw me. I waited for her to look a different direction then ran out the door. I didn’t know exactly where I was going. I just kept walking until I bumped into someone. I looked up and saw the one person I didn’t want to see. His face. All I saw was him kissing Tay. I couldn’t do it.”Can I help you? Or can I just go past and go about life pretending I don’t know who you are” I say. I said it coldly.I wanted him to be hurt by it.
“Maddison, I’m sorry”
“You probably should've thought about that before you stuck your tongue down her throat then, shouldn’t you?”
“It wasn’t meant like that”
“I don’t care how it was meant. You done. You had a girlfriend. I was too stupid to trust you and I couldn’t care less anymore Alex. We’re through. Forget about everything I ever said to you. Forget I exist. Forget you met me because frankly that would help me”
“I don’t want to forget you” He says.
“I don’t care what you want anymore.Your not my boyfriend”
“Don’t”
“Bye Alex” I say budging past him towards the exit. I had my bag on me. I sat down on the curb of the road to await Melissa so we could get the hell out of here. Melissa finally comes running out. “Melissa, can we please get out of here? I can’t stand it” I stand up and she nods at me.

When we got home to Baltimore Alex was still running through my mind. He cheated on me and in spite of it all he was my first love. “Melissa, I’m gonna go get some coffee, want anything?” I call up the stairs to Melissa.
“No thanks” She calls back. I leave and get in the car to drive. I drove to the little coffee shop I loved where Tom worked. I had missed this place since I moved and I wish I come more. I just put things off when I was Alex and only cared about him. I walked up to the counter.
“Maddison! Fuck, I missed you. I mean, forget it” Tom says as he cleans the tables.
“I missed you too, Tom. I was too caught up in my rockstar boyfriend.Good job it’s over, aye?” I look at him as I take off my sunglasses. I missed hanging with him, just talking. I dragged him to the All Time Low concert with me.
“Over? What do you mean?” He asks
“He was cheating. Should of never trusted him” I shake my head.
“I got a break in 5 minutes. If you get a coffee I’ll sit down with you?” He asks. I nod.I sat down with my coffee and I see that figure I didn’t want to see. The face I wanted to shut out.
“Maddison” He says. I shake my head.
“Don’t even try” I begin to tremble.
“Maddison, I didn’t mean to hurt you in Japan!”
“I don’t care. You done it!” In all honestly I did love him and I knew I always would but what was the point? Once a cheater always a cheater? I didn’t know if I would crumble if he asked to try again or could I be strong.
“Give me another chance Maddy, I’m still Alex. I still love you”
“You want a second chance”
“Yes, Please. I want to make it up to you. I want you. I love you still. Your still my everything” I look at Tom who was awaiting to join me. I looked at him carefully to examine his features. I have never noticed his chiseled features. His amazing hair before. Then I begin to remember before I went out with Alex. He said he liked me. It would probably be why he hated Alex.
“Alex. I love you too but I’m not putting myself through that again. I can’t deal with any hurt. Alex, I can’t do relationship anymore”
“Then let me try friendship...” Alex looks hopefully at me.
“Fine, Alex. I mean I do love you and I don’t want t push you away so quickly. Friends” He nods as he gets up. I get up to give him a friendly hug. He walks out the coffee shop and I scurry over to Tom. “Don’t be freaked out, Okay?” I say to Tom.
“Why would I be freaked out?”
“Because I’m gonna kiss you”
“What?”
“Just.shh” I say as I push my lips against his. He wraps his arms around my waist and kissed me back. I pull away still holding onto Tom. Alex didn’t even have a chance to walk out yet. He was standing at the door watching everything and to be honest I didn’t even care.