Just a Fling

I was sitting on the couch in the livingroom, watching
a movie. It had been a few days since I saw
actual daylight.

I hadn't left the apartment, afraid I'd see him.
I'd called in sick from work but I knew I
couldn't keep doing this.

Jessie was working today so I was alone the
entire day, to do whatever I wanted.

Sighing, I turned off the tv and put on some
Avenged Sevenfold to blow off steam.

'Almost Easy' came on and I started singing and
screaming along.

"Come back to me, it's almost eeeeeeeeassssyyyyyyy!"
I yelled, before noticing the door
was open.

I jumped in shock when I saw Ronnie in the doorway.
Staring at him I turned the volume down.

"What are you doing here?"
I asked, realizing I forgot to lock the door.

"I need to talk to you, Charles."
Ronnie said, still staying in the
same spot.

"I don't want to talk to you, though.
So if you don't mind."
I said, turning the volume up again,
ignoring Ronnie.

I switched the song back to
'Critical Acclaim' and waited for Ronnie to
do something. I knew he would.

It took him a while but when he turned the volume
down, I turned it up again.

"Ssssh, quiet, you might piss somebody off.
Like me, motherfucker, you've been at it for to long!"
I sang along.

Ronnie rolled his eyes before grabbing the remote
from my hands and shutting the radio off.

"I was listening to that."
I said, crossing my arms.

"You're acting like a spoiled brat."
he said, a little angry now.

"I don't give a fuck. I don't want to talk
to you and if acting like a spoiled brat works,
I'll keep doing it until you leave."
I said, looking straight at him.

"It's not working. I'm staying until we can talk
like normal people."
he said, throwing the remote on the couch and
looking at me.

"Ronnie, do I really have to explain what I just
told you? I'm not going to talk to you because
I don't want to after what you said. I'm done with
this."
I replied, shaking my head.

"Done with what?"
he asked, frowning.

"This! Us! I'm done with acting like everything is okay
when it really isn't. You told that girl I meant
nothing to you and I've tried to come up with
things to understand why you said it. But all I can think of
is that you're just a huge, huge asshole."
I answered, hopig he'd understand I wasn't in the mood
to discuss this any further.

"I know I am."
he said, defeated.

"Then why are you even here? What makes you think
that I want to even look at you right now? You hurt me
by saying I was a fling and nothing more. How can I ever
forget that?"
I asked, feeling depressed again.

"I.."
he started but I cut him off.

"I can't. Jessie always said you were bad news and I should
have listened to her. I chose not to at the time because
you were a guy with a troubled past and I thought
I'd give you a chance because I knew you had a good heart.
But you completely destroyed that image now."

Ronnie's face fell and he sighed.

"I already thought I screwed everything up. And now
that this, us.. is over.. I'll leave you alone.
I just had to see you one last time."
Ronnie said, nodded once and then walked over
to the couch and grabbed the remote.

He pressed the right button and Avenged Sevenfold started
playing again.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I really didn't mean it. I just..
I don't know why I did it and I don't have an excuse
for it. Maybe I'll see you around."
he said, with a slight smile before turning around
and walking to the door.

Seeing him walk away broke my heart in millions
of pieces.

"I love you, Ronnie. I just feel like I can't trust you
anymore."
I said, before he could make his way out of the apartment.

"I know. And for what it's worth, I love you too. I was
too afraid to admit it because I liked how things were
between us. I'm sorry."
he said before walking out and closing the door.

I stared at the door for ages before I couldn't anymore.
Sitting down on the floor, I thought of what had happened
just then.

I thought I heard him say ' I love you, too ' but what
did that mean?

Deciding I was already at the bottom, I got up and walked
over to Ronnie's and pounded on the door.

"The door is fucking open!"
Ronnie yelled annoyed.

I threw the door open and stared right into his
gorgeous brown eyes.

"Charlie?"
he asked, confused.

"What did you mean by ' I love you, too ' ?"
I asked.

"What do you mean?"
he asked, still confused.

"Just answer the damn question, Radke!"
I half yelled.

"It meant that I love you, too! What else is it
supposed to mean?"
he asked, a little agitated.

"I don't.. I don't understand any of this."
I said, leaning my head in my hands.

"What don't you understand?"
he asked, on the verge of annoyance.

"How you can love me, Ronnie! You tell
someone I'm your nothing and now all of a sudden
you love me? What the hell am I supposed to do now?
You're so fucking bi-polar!"
I said, grabbing his shirt and trying not to rip it.

"Do whatever you want, Charles. But I mean it.
I love you. I should've told you and we wouldn't have
been in this fucking situation. And I should have kept my
mouth shut to that bimbo at the bar and I know that.
I also know that saying I love you won't cut it anymore
so can we just stop doing this and will you just tell me what
you want?"
Ronnie asked, peeling my hands away from his shirt.

"I want you to tell me the truth. What am I to
you?"
I asked, looking into his eyes.

He sighed and wiped his face while walking away
towards the kitchen and leaning against the counter.
He was facing his feet when he started to talk.

"I'm not.. Boyfriend material. I always screw up and
I never do what I'm supposed to do. I didn't want
to hurt you in any way so I just.. started to push you
away, the only way I knew how. I know that wasn't
the best thing to do but I got scared of what would happen
if I told you I wanted more than just sleeping with you
every other day. I don't think I'm right for you, I don't
deserve someone like you."
he said, defeated.

I just stared at him until he looked up at me.
His eyes were sad and his shoulders were slumped.

"So you want to be with me but you can't.
Because you're afraid you'll mess up and that you
don't deserve me? Where is all this coming from?"
I asked, not understanding how he got into that
state of mind.

"It always happens, Charles. I meet a girl, really like
her and then after a month or so I screw up.
I don't want to hurt you anymore."
he said,crossing his arms over his chest.

"You don't know if you'll screw this up, though."
I said, frowning my eyebrows.

"Huh?"
Ronnie asked, confused.

"Well, look at it this way. We've been sleeping together
for almost a year now. I've been coming over here almost
everyday to hang out and we go out together. The only thing
we don't have is an official term. I mean, when you think
about it, we're pretty much in a relationship."
I said, shrugging.

"I thought you were mad at me."
Ronnie said, smiling half-heartedly.

"Well, if you'd have told me this sooner, I wouldn't
have been so goddamn mad. I still hate you for
saying I was your nothing but I'll kick your ass
for that someday."
I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm really sorry for making you sad."
Ronnie whispered, his arms wrapped around my waist
tightly.

"I should have talked to you, though. So forget about it."
I said, kissing just below his ear.

We just stood there for a while, hugging each other.

"Charlie, do you have any idea how freaked out I was?!"
We heard behind us.

I turned around and saw Jessie walking in.

"What are you doing here?"
I asked, frowning.

"Lunchbreak, I wanted to see how you were doing.
Will you answer your phone and close the door next
time you leave? God, I almost had a haeartattack."
she said, punching my upper arm rather hard.

"Ouch! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. If
you would've told me about your lunchbreak I
would've stayed in the apartment."
I said, rubbing my arm.

"Why the hell are you even here? I thought
you finally had some sense knocked into
that thick skull of yours?!"
she said, pointing at Ronnie.

"Hey.."
Ronnie said, a little offended.

"Don't 'Hey' me! You have no idea how miserable
she's been because of you and your asshole-ness.
Mind explaining everything, Charlie?"
Jessie asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well, he came over and we talked. Then he left
and I went here and we talked. That's.. Pretty much the
big lines of how it went down. And before you ask; I'm
fine."
I said, leaning into Ronnie.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple.
I felt my cheeks turn red and Jessie rolled her eyes.

"So, you're like a real couple now?"
she asked, waving her arms towards us.

"Well.."
I wanted to say but Ronnie cut me off.

"Yep. I'll try to be less of an asshole."
Ronnie said, smiling.

Jessie looked at us for a while and then rolled her eyes.

"Fine, okay. Whatever you want. But I swear to God if I
have to pick up the pieces because it didn't end well,
I know where to find you. I mean it."
Jessie said, looking directly at Ronnie.

"I'll come over to your apartment and knock on the
door so you can kick my ass. I'm not planning on hurting
her, Jessie. I swear."
he said, sincerely.

Jessie stared at him for a while before looking at me.

"This means that he'll be over at our place as well,
right?"
she asked.

"I guess. I know you don't really like him but
try? For me?"
I asked, pouting.

"Of course I will."
she said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Thank you, Jess."
I said, and hugged her close.

"No problem. As long as you're happy."
she said, after releasing me.
"Well, I'm off to work again. I'll see you later."

"Bye Jess, see you later. I'll cook!"
I yelled after her before she closed
the door.

I turned around to face Ronnie.
"So we're a couple now."
I said, not able to hide my smile.

"If you want to, I.."
he started but I cut him off by pressing my lips
against his.

"Yes. I want to."
I said after I stopped attacking his lips.

"I hope it won't get awkward when we go over to
your place, though. She really hates me, doesn't she?"
Ronnie asked, wiping a few strands of hair out of my
face.

"She doesn't hate you. She's just protective of me
when it comes to you. She's seen me at my worst
because of things that happened between us. She doesn't
want to see me like that. It's a best friend thing."
I explained.

"I can understand that. She must be an awesome friend."
Ronnie said, smiling and kissing my nose.
"Movie?"

I nodded.
"Yeah, sure. I'm up for a good movie."

He pulled me with him and we tried to decide what movie
we were going to watch when Ronnie got a call.

"It's Max, give me a second?"
he asked.

"Of course. I'll pick one. Tell Max I said hi."
I said, before focusing my attention on the DVD's again.

"Maxiepoo! Before I forget, Charles said hi."
I heard Ronnie say.

I snorted and shook my head.

"No, I can't."
he replied.

I had difficulty choosing between The Matrix or Die Hard.

"Max, no. I'm with Charles now.."
he said, what made me smile.

I settled on The Matrix and put it in the DVD-player.

"No, dick. I mean with her. As in she's my girlfriend now."
I heard the smile in his voice and I felt the butterflies
in my stomach.

"I know. It's hard to believe. But I gotta go, we're watching
The Matrix. See you later, dude."
Ronnie ended the call and wrapped his arm around me,
as I sat down on the couch.

"What's hard to believe?"
I asked, pressing 'play'.

"That I actually have a real girlfriend and a pretty one
at that."
Ronnie said, kissing my temple.

"Psh. You're talking so much crap."
I said, snuggling against him.

He laughed and leaned his head against mine.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done to make you feel miserable."
he said.

I looked up at him and shook my head.
"Don't. I'm over it. I got you in the end, didn't I?"

He smiled at me and kissed my lips.
"You sure did."