Who Knew

“What in the hell are you doing here?” I exclaimed.

She giggled a little. “I wanted to talk to you about everything. Hear what you have to say again and think about it all.”

I was lost. Hours ago she wanted me to leave her alone and to die. I nodded. “A-alright, can we do it tomorrow though? It’s been a long day.” I explained.

“Uh, sure.” She said hesitantly.

I smiled and hugged her. “Thanks.” I whispered.

She got up and nodded. Mia didn’t say anything. She let out a long breath and started walking towards the door.

I couldn’t let her just leave my house. This is all that I have wanted to do and I’m letting her get away. “Mia.” I spoke up. “Come here.”

She complied and sat on my bed again. “Yeah, Zach.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” I said. “I want to talk to you in the morning on the beach, but I don’t want to have to find you.”

She nodded and laid down. “I don’t want you to think that I’m doing this to get back with you. I really wanted to sleep in your arms again, but I’m not sure if I fully trust you yet. I came back to talk as civilized people again, then I’m flying home to Maine to think about everything.”

“Please don’t.” I whispered, pulling her closer to me.

“I have to.”

“Why?” I asked her.

“I have to think about everything and California is not the place to do that.” She mumbled.

I sighed and lifted my covers up to make sure she was fully covered. “Okay. We’ll talk in the morning.” I whispered.

She nodded and hugged herself closer to me.

I woke to my phone buzzing. Totally forgetting about Mia, I reached for it and got startled by her presence.

She got up and walked to the other side of my room. “Sorry.” She whispered.

I shook my head and grabbed her hands. “It’s okay. I forget.”

I looked down and nodded.

It was only then I realized I wasn’t wearing pants. She must have felt a bit awkward. “Do you want to head to the beach?” I asked her.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay, I’m just going to get changed.” I said and walked off to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face before changing. I wondered why she came tonight, but I wasn’t about to question her.

I pulled my phone out and found Cameron’s number.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hey, uh, Mia stayed at my house last night and we’re going to the beach to talk about things.” I told him.

“And you’re calling me now, why?” I questioned.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, she wants to fly back out to Maine after we talk and I want to do something memorable for her so she decides not to. Maybe you could make her an ‘I’m Sorry’ cake for me?” I asked her.

He sighed. “I could. Or a congratulations one as well!”

“Whatever floats the boat.” I said.

“Really?” he asked.

“Hey, I tried!” I laughed.

“I’ll meet you there in about fifteen minutes.” He said.

“Sweet, thanks, Cam.”

“Anytime, bro. Now go talk to her. Bye.”

“Bye.” I said and slid my Blackberry back into my pocket.

I looked at myself in the mirror again before walking out to meet up with Mia. “Ready?” I asked her.

She slowly nodded. “Yes.”

I extended my hand, hoping she’d take it. She did. I led her down the stairs, past my parents and to the California air. We slowly walked to the beach. “So why did you come back last night?” I asked, sitting on the sand next to her.

She shrugged. “I talked to Anna and we decided against waiting.”

“Oh.”

“Listen Zach, I kind of want to hear your side again and then I want to tell you everything. I don’t want to talk to the guys or call this wedding off or say it’s still on. I don’t want to do any of that. I just want to talk to you then fly back out to Maine.”

“I don’t get why you’re flying out to Maine.” I said.

“I’m flying out to Maine because I need to figure my life out again, Zach.” she looked down at the sand. “It’s a place where I can think and not be bothered by anyone. I need to get away from everything for a while.”

I nodded. “I understand. I just wish that you would just talk to me.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Because you’re what I need to decide on.”

I nodded. “I understand."

She nodded. “That’s good, I guess.”

There was an awkward silence between us. A silence that has never happened between us before. I let out a long breath and deiced to break the awkward silence and tell her what she anted to hear. “Mia, you worried me when you told me about what your mom said and I didn’t want you to have to deal with that pressure on top of everything else. I suppose it would have been easier if I just told you, but I know you. Mi, I knew that you wouldn’t leave California. I know you and you would have stayed. Even after all of this, you didn’t leave and I still don’t know why.”

“Because I didn’t pick up on your plan.” She mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking I had a drink that night.” I admitted.

“You what?”

“It was stupid, but I did.”

“Were you not going to tell me about that too?” she snapped.

I shrugged. “I-I don’t know.”

She nodded and stood up. “Zach, a lot has been done, don’t get me wrong, I love you, but I need to figure out if I’m ready to forgive you and trust you again.”

“You can.” I whispered, reaching for her hand.

“I’m flying out to Maine no matter what, Zach.”

I sighed. “I want you to know that I love you very much and I only did this to protect you.”

She squeezed my hand and smiled. “Okay.”

I stood up and wrapped my arms around her waist; I pulled her close to me and kissed her like I would never kiss her again.

She smiled and began to walk away from me.

“When am I going to see you again?” I quickly asked her.

She shrugged. “September isn’t really the easiest month. I have a few book talks I need to do, then maybe I’ll be back.”

“Were you always going to leave in September?”

She nodded. “I have house things still in Maine and book talks to do.”

“So what’s with all this going back to think, then?”

“I need to think as well. I could do book talks from here via Skype, but if I need time to think, I might as well tell the schools that I’m going to be in Maine and I’ll actually be there. It will get my mind off of things and in the right direction.”

I tried to process all of that and all I could manage was a simple “okay.”

She turned around and for the second time, she had walked out of my life and I didn’t stop her.