Never Gonna Let You Go

NICOLES POV

2 Months Later

It was now October. I’ve pretty much distanced myself from everyone, Cass included. I have been in a downward spiral since that night. Every night I go to a bar and get completely wasted. Some nights I wouldn’t even go home just so I didn’t have to face Zack. I’d never sleep around or anything I would just drink my life away.

Jack has literally sent me flowers everyday with a card saying how sorry he is. Its terrible, but I’ve thrown out every flower or bouquet even if Zack has tried to stop me each time. I didn’t want anything abut Jack in our house. I know I’m going to see him tomorrow since we left for tour, but so far I’ve been doing good avoiding him.

Everybody is probably going to be pissed at me for ignoring them but they don’t understand what I’m going through. All the shit that’s happened with Charlie and now Jack is just too much. I’m not stupid, I know I’m going to have to face it sometime. And “sometime” was tomorrow. Cass said it. We were eventually going to have to talk about this during tour but the 2 months have been nice to get away from everything.

I was packing my stuff when I heard someone bust through my door. It sounded like there was a tractor or something busting my door down. It wasn’t Zack because he was with his family. Right as I was about to go see who it was I got trampled by Alex and Rian.

“NICOOOOLE” they both shouted.

“Guys! I ca-cant breath!” I tried to shout back. To be honest, I was actually excited to see them.

They quickly got off of me and got serious fast.

“Okay. We’re glad you’re alive. BUT SERIOUSLY? We’re fucking pissed at you. Two months of no texting, calling or seeing you! We thought you died. But thank god for Zack for keeping us posted that you weren’t dead in a ditch” Rian said.

“Oh please. Stop being so dramatic”

‘We’re not!” Alex chimed in. “We were worried. You completely disappeared!”

“Oh my god. Well, I’m here now. I just needed to take a break from everyone and everything. This was much needed. Even though I did miss you guys”

“Well we understood that so that is why we didn’t bust through your doors a while ago” Rian laughed. “But on a serious note. How are you? I mean none of us has seen or talked to you since that night”

“Uh. Well. I’ve been doing fine I guess. I mean, it’s been hard obviously. Having someone cheat on you is not something you celebrate about but whatever” I said trying to go around the question.

“It’s not whatever Nicole. Drinking your life away is not going to fix this. You have to talk to him” Alex said.

“Excuse me?” I asked shocked.

“Zack has told us about how almost every night you’ve gone out to a bar and get completely wasted. Come on” Alex said sounding like a father figure.

“Its none of your business” I said a little too harshly but I didn’t like talking about this sort of stuff. I’ve never been one to talk about my feelings. I get it out the first time its bothering me then I just bury deep inside.

“Dammit. Stop being a bitch and talk to us!” Alex yelled, his face getting red out of anger.

He was right though. I was being a bitch for no reason. I shouldn’t be taking this out on them. They just wanted to help me.

“You’re right. I’m sorry”

They looked taken back that I actually apologized.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to call you a bitch. We just want to be here for you or try to help. You’re always there for us” Alex said sympathetically.

“I know you guys do. I appreciate it, really. At the same time though you guys should know I’m not good with dealing with these things. I mean look how I was with Charlie. I always drank to forget about those feelings. I’m just hurt by this whole thing. And you want to know what sucks even more? I still love him” I said letting a tear out.

“Of course you do. You need to follow your heart instead of your head for once. You always try to do the smart thing, you never take chances. I understand what you’ve been through. Believe me. It was hard for us to see you being abused and hurt from douchebag number one and then having this asshole ruin your relationship” Rian said that punching Alex in the arm during the last sentence. “But I know Jack didn’t mean to cheat on you. He’s been beating himself over it everyday. He literally waits for you on his couch staring at the door hoping that you’ll show up”

“Guys. I understand you want whats best for me and him. But I truly don’t think that it is. It’s more than that. “

They both just sat there not knowing what to say since I was being so stubborn.

“Just promise us you’ll talk to him on tour?” Alex pleaded.

“I’m not promising anything!”

Alex rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how Jack dealt with you. You are such a bitch” he said playfully.

“Oh please. Two months ago you wanted a piece of this ass just as much as he did” I said back.

I had to laugh because Alex’s face turned red from embarrassment. .

“I’m kidding! Chill bro” I said trying to calm him down.

‘Fuck you that’s not funny” Alex said sounding like a toddler.

“Well um. I hate to say this but your room smells and looks like shit. It looks like a hurricane hit your room” Rian said.

“Haha. Not as bad as Zack’s room though. Two weeks ago he was bugging me about how much I was going out and I got pissed so I put a grilled cheese under his bed. He’s been on a cleaning frenzy to try to get the smell out but he still doesn’t know that it’s the sandwich making that smell in his room” I said busting out in hysterics as were the boys.

“Oh my god, you are such a bitch. It must smell like shit” Alex laughed.

“Well that’s what he gets!”

“He was just looking out for you! Plus, he was the only one that actually had any contact with you and he kept us up on what was going on with you so we knew you weren’t dead. We actually owe him one” Rian said looking at Alex.

“Whatever. Rian can you pass me that pink glamour kills shirt next to my TV?” I asked since I was too lazy to move and I also had to finish packing.

As he picked it up a mother fucking million-legged centipede crawled out. You’d think someone was just shot by the way I yelled bloody murder.

I jumped on my bed and started yelling.

“Don’t jut stand there! Stomp that mother fucker!!” I yelled.

“EW! I am NOT touching that thing!’ Alex said.

Rian stomped on it but as soon as he took his foot off it was still alive and the bug went straight towards Alex.

The scream that came out of Alex sounded like it should have came out of me. It was one of the most high-pitched yells. He joined me on the bed and hid behind me.

“MOTHER OF GOD ITS GOING TO KILL ME RIAN. OH MY GOD RIAN IT WENT UNDER THE BED” he yelled.

“I’m not making this out alive. Oh dear god. This is not a good time” I whimpered. And it quickly became a game of chase with the centipede and Rian with Alex clinching on to me for dear life. But about a minute later Rian finally killed the fucker.

Alex let a sigh of relief “Oh thank ya jesuuuus” he sang out.

“Holy shit. That was the scariest moment of my life. I need to call a cleaning service to get here to clean before we leave tomorrow” I said jumping off the bed.

“Yeah, no shit. You guys just acted like the world was ending. Damn”

“Alright. Don’t need to be rude Miss. Bravey pants killer” Alex yelled pushing Rian on the bed.

Me and Rian just looked at him with a blank stare.

“Really, Alex? Bravey pants? Where are your balls cause it seems like you lost them when you saw that bug” Rian said.

“Right here. Wanna see them” he said back unzipping his pants

“No!” Rian and I said in unison.

“We’ve seen them a million times already” I laughed.

“Okay seriously though. We need to clean this room and help you pack. So lets get going” Rian said trying to pick up some trash on my floor.

I had to smile. They truly were the best. Even if I don’t want them helping me they always did. They were the best friends I could ask for.

“YO!” I yelled loudly. They looked up at me. “Thanks for barging in here and getting my head back on my shoulders. You guys are the best” I smiled sweetly.

“Yeah yeah we know” Alex said winking at me and Rian gave me a hug.

I really am thankful for them and Zack. They always knew how to make me happy. They were my best friends. Now jack on the other hand. I don’t even know what’s going to happen when I see him tomorrow.