Tonight's Our Night

“I don’t feel well.” I croaked, my duvet pulled up to just under my eyes, peeking out at Joe, who had made it his mission to wake me up.
“What’s up?” He fussed, throwing himself down onto my bed beside me.
“I’m losing my voice, my head is banging and I feel sick.” I whimpered, shivering slightly.
“We’ve got, what, 3 days left ‘till tour?” Joe asked, more to himself than to me. Nevertheless, I nodded in reply.
“Ugh, we can’t risk you losing your voice, it’s too close. Voice rest would be impossible in school, though, wouldn’t it? What would you miss today if you didn’t go in?”
“English, Physics, Music, German, Maths. I think.”
“I’ll go speak to Sam, see if he’ll ring in for you. He might not, though, so you may want to start getting dressed.” He spoke softly, noticing that I winced when the volume got too loud. I nodded weakly, and burrowed down further into my nest of warmth and comfort. My eyelids fluttered closed and I drifted in and out of sleep for the next five minutes.
“Sav?” Came Sam’s voice from my doorway. My sleep glazed eyes slowly focussed on him leaning on the doorframe, rubbing at his own eyes with his hair a ruffled mess.
“Joe said you weren’t feeling good. Are you up to school or do you need to stay home?” I opened my mouth to say, no, I wasn’t feeling up to going to the hellhole today when I realised that no sound came out. Frustrated, I snapped my mouth shut and slowly dragged myself up into a sitting position. I leaned out and snatched up the bottle of water I kept by my bed, taking a swig from it. Still, I couldn’t force a word out of my mouth.
“Shit, is your voice gone?” All I could do was nod.
“Alright, I’ll ring school. Do you want anything to eat?” I shook my head, not even food could cure a lost voice.
“I’ll get you a hot chocolate though, you need to drink. I’ll be back in a few.” I didn’t even bother an attempt at a reply. Just as I was considering tearing my head off my neck to cure my headache, Kyle passed by my open door. I fumbled around for a moment before lobbing a pillow out of the door, hitting him square in the back of the head.
“Son of a bitch!” He yelled, never one for keeping quiet whilst others slept. I beckoned him over and showed him the text I’d typed out on my phone.
“You want Ibuprofen?” Again, I nodded.
“Alright, I think there’s some in the bathroom, I’ll go grab some.” He left the room, stumbling into the small bathroom across the hallway from my bedroom. He returned a few moments later with a small blue and white packet in hand. He popped two out of the blister packet and threw the empty pack into the bin by my bed.
“You want them broken?” He didn’t wait for my response, and instead set about snapping them in half. It took him a while, but eventually they snapped, sending off tiny clouds of white powder. I grinned as he struggled with them but took them gratefully. He smiled and turned away, tripping his way across to the door. Thinking quickly, I threw a stuffed polar bear in his general direction. When he turned around again, I raised my hands in a heart shape, scrunching my nose up. He returned the gesture, and moved out of Sam’s way. Sam placed a steaming hot chocolate next to me, which I snatched up and gingerly took sips from.
“Are you going to stay in bed today, then?” It took me a minute, but I typed out a reply on my phone lying beside me.
“You don’t think you’ll be able to get back to sleep now you’re awake? Yeah, I’m the same, no going back for me now.” I rolled my eyes at his response, he was the only one in the band that actually like mornings, and he was a pain in the arse on tour if you didn’t get to bed until late the night before. He would be in your bunk or throwing things around at 8am if someone wasn’t up to keep him company. We’d developed a rota of who had to get up with him.
“You want me to stay up with you?” I shook my head no, I had work I could do, and no doubt Sam had shit to do.
“Alright. Stay wrapped up, text me if you need anything, yeah?” I smiled gently at him before getting back to drinking my hot chocolate. That drink is the gift of gods.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Five hours later, and I was feeling better. My voice was pretty much back again, my head wasn’t hurting so badly and I wasn’t burning up anymore. Sam insisted that it was due to the magical powers of his hot chocolate, but really, I think it was down to the Ibuprofen.
I cast an eye over the various folders and papers that littered my bed and sighed. I’d spent my entire day in bed, attempting to get a head start on the work that needed to be completed. I always had so much to do, it took over my life.
Grudgingly, I dragged myself from bed and over to my wardrobe, pulling out a random selection of clothes. I shuffled towards the bathroom, waving at Joe as he passed.
“You better?” He asked, barely looking up from his phone.
“I think so, I don’t feel like my throat’s being ripped apart by angry wolves anymore, so that’s a bonus.”
“Lovely.” He sarcastically responded, clearly not over-enthusiastic about my imagery.
“Isn’t it just? Are you off out to see Rosanna?” Rosanna, Joe’s long term girlfriend, was one of the bands best friends. We barely ever got to see her, due to the fact that Joe hogged her. We’d tried to convince her to come along on tours a multitude of times, but nothing ever worked. Her job, owning and running an alternative clothing shop a few streets away from our house, kept her tied down.
“I was going to see if we could all go to the woods, Rosanna included.”
“That’d be brilliant, I’ll go change and I’ll meet you downstairs, yeah?” I didn’t wait for a response, and instead skipped into the bathroom, cheered up by the promise of a trip to the woods. We would always go in the week before we toured again, it was the way we all coped with leaving. There were so many memories that clung to the to the trees, none of us could bear to leave home without visiting.
I changed as quickly as possible, brushing my teeth and doing my hair and makeup afterwards. I finally looked down at what I’d chosen to wear, and nodded in approval. I had no idea how hot it was outside, but given that it was North England, I assumed not very.
I bounced out of the bathroom and downstairs, into the kitchen where everyone was assembled. Throwing a wave at the group sat around the table, I dove into the freezer and pulled out a Scooby Doo ice lolly. Those things are addictive, it doesn’t matter what the weather’s like, it’s impossible not to have at least one a day.
“What’s the plan?” I chirped, sitting in the only spare seat we had.
“Waiting for Rosanna, then we’ll drive, I think.” Someone said, I had no idea who, I was too busy with my ice lolly.
“Good morning sluts and whores!” A voice yelled, slamming the front door open so hard, I thought a hole would be made in the wall. My eyes widened as I stood from the chair so quickly that it toppled over backwards.
“Rosanna!” I screamed, running towards her as fast as I could. The next thing I knew, we were lying in a tangled heap on the floor, half in the house, half out of it.
“I missed you too girlie.” She laughed, patting me on the head. I scowled up at her for the condescending gesture, but offered her a hand up off the floor anyway. Of course, she immediately latched onto Joe’s side.
“Can we leave now?” I asked, peering up at everyone standing around me. Why is everyone so tall? Or am I just small? Those are the sort of questions that haunt me.
“Yeah, come on.” I hopped outside, just because I could.
“Which cars are we taking?”
“Mine and Sam’s, the van was taken away by management this morning.” At this, my head whipped around, noticing that in fact, the van was missing.
“What the fuck, how come?”
“The exhaust pipe was hanging off, so they took it to get it fixed. We should have it back for Friday.” I calmed myself, the thought of not having that van to tour in was too much. Today was Wednesday, of course we’d have the van back.
“C’mon Sav, you’re with me and Rosanna.” Hollered Joe from his car window. Sure enough, Ethan, Sam and Kyle were all piling into Sam’s car, yelling about who got to ride up front. Sometimes you’d think they were the 15 year olds, not me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was freezing. No two ways about it, my breath floated past me in little clouds as I jumped up and down to stop myself from shivering. Still, the cold seemed to make it all quieter, something we all appreciate from time to time.
The three of us had stepped out of Joe’s car like normal human beings, watching the spectacle that was the rest of the band falling out of Sam’s. Sam was yelling at Ethan who seemed to be blaming everything on Kyle. Apparently Kyle had shaken his drink before he got in the car, but Ethan opened it. The end of the world, clearly.
Once they’d stopped fighting, we set off into the woods, the only real sound being our breathing, the occasional bird tweeting and flying overhead, and sticks snapping underfoot. I was at the head of our little group, striding ahead of the rest of them. Joe and Rosanna were towards the back, holding onto each other for dear life. The gap between us was filled with Ethan, Sam and Kyle all walking along with their hands in their hoodie pockets. We didn’t usually walk together in the wood, but spread out a little, each one of us occupied with our own thoughts.
Soon enough, we reached what we had walked all that way for. A small clearing lay ahead of us, a river lazily winding its way around us, in a complete circle. A bridge was the preferred way across by most, but a rope swing hung from a thick branch, which was the route we usually took. That day, we crossed over the bridge, not wanting frostbite.
“Fuck me sideways, it’s cold.” And with that the peace was broken. I was thrown over someone’s shoulder.
“Put me the fuck down, right now.” I screamed, punching whoever’s back I was currently forced to stare at.
“You want to go swimming?” Chuckled Kyle. I squirmed as much as I could, kicking my legs violently.
“No! Put me down, or I’ll make it so you can never have kids.” And then I was dropped on my arse. I rubbed my head, a little confused with the turn of events. Then it all made sense. Kyle was backing off, hands protecting his “special area” as he liked to call it. Within an instant, I had jumped to my feet and was running as fast as I could, chasing him around our group of friends that were all laughing hysterically at our exchange. Was that a flipcam in Ethan’s hands?
“I know where you sleep, dickhead.” I yelled, giving up the chase and flopping to the cold ground. I looked either side of me where Sam and Joe had sat beside me.
“It’s soon.” Sam muttered, unwilling to make eye contact with me. I let my head drop back as I stared up to the clear sky, a few wisps of cloud drifting overhead.
“I know.” I whispered.
“Not a day goes by where I don’t miss him.” He carried on.
“It was my fault.”
“Savannah Marie Rye, never let me hear you say that again. It was no way your fault, alright? No way.”
“I wonder what he’d think of all this.” I mused quietly, vaguely pointing at all of us.
“He’d be proud of you Sav, very proud. We all are.” After that, there was silence between us. Ethan, Kyle and Rosanna were running around a little way away, debating whether or not to use the rope swing. I assume they thought it was a good idea, judging from the view of Rosanna hanging off the swing upside down.
“I’m going to go save my girlfriend.” Joe chuckled. I tried my hardest to look happy, and forced out a half-hearted smile. I don’t know whether he noticed or not.
I don’t know how long I was laid there for, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but it felt like no time at all before everyone regrouped by the bridge.
“We’re leaving Sav.” Someone yelled, voice carrying across the clearing.
“You go, I’ll walk home.” I shouted back, cracks appearing in my voice.
“We’re not leaving you Savannah, come to the car when you’re ready to go.” I held my hand up in an okay sign towards Joe, before I closed my eyes and fell into my thoughts.

I turned over, grasping the covers between both hands. This sofa wasn’t supposed to be a bed, but it was how it served tonight, and the night before this one. I sighed, trying to get comfortable by kicking the duvet around. Instead, I ended up throwing the bedding off the sofa and onto the hardwood floor. I groaned, standing up and heading through to the kitchen. I wasn’t there for anything specific, other than for a change of scenery. Suddenly, thunder rumbled and a crack of lightning sounded. I jumped out of my skin, almost screaming. I was never scared of storms, it just doesn’t help when someone’s standing in the doorway, shadows cast by the tongue of lightning that licked across the sky.
“Sam, you scared the shit out of me.” I hissed, trying to steady my heart rate.
“Sorry,” he shrugged “What are you doing up anyway?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Thirteen year olds shouldn’t have sleep problems.” He chuckled, heading across to the fridge.
“I don’t usually, something just feels off tonight.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing. Go back to bed, alright?” I reluctantly nodded, and slid into the bed that the sofa provided. Shutting my eyes tightly, I begged for sleep. Silently, the black curtain fell, and I was asleep.
What felt like only moments later, I was being shaken awake. My eyes were misted with the shroud of sleep, but I didn’t fail to see the tears gently slipping down Sam’s face.
“Sam? What’s wrong?” I asked, worry and fear filled my tone.
“It’s Luke, he…he…”
“Sam, what the fuck is wrong with Luke?!”
“He was hit last night, a drunk driver apparen-“
“He’s alright, isn’t he?!”
“I’m sorry Savannah.” My entire body shut down. I couldn’t speak, let alone move. In a matter of a few days, my entire world had been smashed to fragments that couldn’t be picked back up. The light at the end of the tunnel was extinguished, fizzling out pathetically.

Somehow, I had pulled myself up onto my knees. I really didn’t give a shit if my jeans got muddy, it didn’t matter anymore. Gently, I wiped away a tear that was snaking its way down to my mouth, following the contours of my face.
“I miss you Luke, I really do. You were the best brother anyone could ever have. I’m so fucking sorry.” I whimpered, trying desperately to quell the flow of tears. No success. I gave up before long, and hauled myself to my feet, tripping over myself in my haste to get out of the place that suffocated me with its memories.