I Could Never Hurt You

Tonight’s the night… Are you going to come?

It was a simple question in the note, perhaps. To the unknowing, it was. To me, it was difficult.

I looked in the direction of my boyfriend, who was copying down the notes - like I was supposed to be doing. His eyes flickered over to me, but back to the notes quickly.

Brian has been wanting to show me his real self for a couple weeks now… I wasn’t sure what he meant by “real self” since I was sure I knew him… We had been dating for almost two years now and I thought I knew him really well…

Though that thought was lost when he told me he had a confession to show me. He had told me that I didn’t know what it was - at all - and that he was ashamed for waiting as long as he did to show me, but he’d have to wait a few weeks longer to show me. I was confused with how he had to show me his confession, but I was also upset he had hidden something from me.

You should go, Zack. You would do anything for him, anyways. He looks so sad that you’re taking this long to reply… I thought, looking at the boy beside me. His lip was between his sharp teeth, his eyes weren’t quite the warm chocolate color, and he was scratching at his wrist. He scratched at his wrists when he was nervous or anxious.

I scribbled my reply of yes and tossed the paper back. I started taking notes again, ignoring his eyes on me.

☠

“I’m just really upset that he hasn’t told me whatever it is. We’ve been dating for almost two years,” I told my friend Matt. “And he hasn’t told me whatever for this long?” I sighed and hit my head down on my book.

Matt gave me a sympathetic look, also looking guilty - for whatever reason. “He was probably having a hard time with it, Zack. You know Bri’s indecisive, but he loves you.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I’m really fucking scared… What if he’s a rapist and he’s taking me into the middle of the woods to rape me and then kill me?!”

Matt rolled his eyes as some chick looked up at me. “Yea. He needs to rape you,” He teased. “Come on, Z. Loosen up. It’s probably nothing like that. Relax, alright?”

I bit my lip with a nod, still scared. Was it likely that Brian was a rapist? Not really. Would he kill me? Doesn’t seem plausible. Matt’s right, I shouldn’t worry. I took a deep breath. “Thanks, Mattie. You always know what to say.”

He smiled, exposing his dimples to the world. “Takes experience,” He told me, grabbing me into a headlock and messing up my hair. I batted my hands at him, but it was no use.

“Get off,” I whined.

He laughed and shook his head. “Come on, Baker, you can get out of this, can’t you,” He teased, pinching my ear.

“Fucker, get off,” I grumbled, hitting at him.

“Settle down, everyone,” Our teacher commanded, coming back into the room. Matt let go of me and I punched his arm, glaring.

“Ass-fuck.”

He laughed, sitting back in his seat. I smiled and looked at the clock to see the bell was about to ring, releasing us for lunch. Everyone started packing up.

“You guys don’t have any homework,” Mr. Sanders - Matt’s dad, actually - told us. “Just enjoy the full moon tonight,” He laughed.

Matt chuckled, shaking his head, as he stood up. “Are you meeting Bri wherever or are you going with him?” He asked, slinging his bag on his back.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t say, really… I’ll ask him as soon as I see him.”

He nodded. “If he meets you wherever, you want an escort by your’s truly?” He smiled.

I smiled back. “That’d be nice.” The bell rang and everyone left in a rush. “I’ll need to be calmed again, I’m sure,” I joked. He grinned and messed up my hair again. I smacked his hands away and left the class, him right behind me. He punched me, lightly, and I walked backwards to smack at him. I bumped into someone and almost fell, but they caught me. “Sorry,” I apologized, fast, turning to see Brian.

He gave a small smile. “It’s alright… Matt, can I have a moment alone with him?” He asked, looking at my second best friend.

“Yea… Z, you need me, just yell. I’m gonna talk to my dad.” Matt messed my hair up - again - and went back into his dad’s class.

I looked up at Brian, expectantly. Even if I had agreed to meet with him tonight, for him to show me what he’s been hiding, I was still upset. Why hadn’t he mentioned it at all before?!

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Zack…” He sighed again, opening his mouth, but closing it. He did that once or twice more before groaning and gripping his hair.

I sighed softly, watching him repeat this whole process. This has happened, twice, before and both times I had been mad at him for some reason, but I calmed him down anyways. I took his hands from his hair and looked up at him. “I’m not really mad at you, Bri,” I told him. “I’m sad you haven’t told me whatever it is yet, since we’ve been dating for a while, but I’m not mad.”

He sighed, again, and pulled me into his arms. “I’m really sorry, Zack… I know I should’ve told you before, but I’ve been scared about telling you… I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you,” He murmured.

Him saying that, honestly, worried me more about tonight. Why was he worried about losing me? What was he going to tell/ show me that could make him worry about losing me?? “I love you, too,” I told him, avoiding telling him he wouldn’t lose me. I didn’t know what he was going to show me and I didn’t know if it would make me love him any less.

He smiled down at me and pressed his lips to mine, lightly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Erm… What I need to show you has to wait until late… So, could I pick you up tonight?”

“How late?” I questioned, confused.

“Really late…” He cupped my cheek in his hand and looked me in the eye. “But I promise after tonight is over, I will never hide another thing from you.”

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him, softly. It was a quick peck, but Brian was grinning afterwards, like I had given him the world, or something. “Tell me one thing?” I asked, softly. He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not gonna take me to some shady place and murder me, are you?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Never, Zack.” He raised my chin a little and kissed me again. “I could never hurt you.” He smiled.

I smiled back. “Good. Now come on, I’m hungry.”

He chuckled as we began walking to the cafeteria together.

Tonight needs to come faster.