Written In The Sand

Nestled in the corner of the school library sat Olivia, Poppy, Lottie and Mae sipping on hot chocolates they’d purchased from the vendy-machine. Normally during break they’d be in the cantine with the guys but now that everyone knew, it was just too awkward.

All through the first two periods, Olivia had been heckled by classmates asking in hushed tones what had happened. Thankfully Lottie, having finally had enough, had told them all to clear off in the nicest way she could manage. It had been a relief for Olivia who still struggled to say just why she’d finished it all.

She was glad to be in the library, away from everyone. Earlier, she’d left her house just as Jack was getting into his car. Their eyes had caught over the hedge before Jack had slammed the car door shut and torn off down the street. All through the morning she hadn’t been able to shake off the sick feeling she had in her gut, the feeling she’d had since last night when Jack had seen Olivia in her bedroom with Sean Roxburgh. Sean Roxburgh! Olivia was furious with herself. But she couldn’t deny her friends a party.

“Em, we’ve been invited to a party tonight,” she started and the three other girls looked up excitedly from their reading material.

“Whose is it?” Poppy asked excitedly, her face glowing with the prospect of a good night.

Sean had never said whose party it was and with a sinking feeling she realised she’d have to say Sean had asked her and this would undoubtedly lead to questions, “I bumped into Sean Roxburgh last night at the supermarket and he asked me,” she rattled as Lottie’s forehead creased with confusion and even Mae looked surprised.

“Sean Roxburgh? What on earth was he doing talking to you?” Poppy asked. Countless times they’d heard Olivia complain how annoying Sean was in Maths.

Sighing, Olivia gave a brief account of everything that had happened the night before. She found they were a good audience, Lottie even gasped when she heard that Jack had seen them in the room together. Olivia hadn’t said exactly what they were doing, she felt strangely embarrassed by it – too embarrassed to even tell three of her closest friends.

“You should be careful about him,” Poppy said, picking up her magazine. “He’s gorgeous but he’s a prick.”

“You don’t need to tell me that, trust me, I may have split up with Jack but I’m not interested in trying to replace him any time soon.”

Lottie was fussing with her school books, uncharacteristically she hadn’t said very much since Olivia had told them what had happened. “You better ask Sean where the party is,” she said just as the bell rang. Swinging her bag round her shoulders she left, not even waiting for Mae who she had a class with next.

“What’s the matter with Lottie?” Olivia asked Poppy who shrugged her shoulders. The pair had a free period now and decided to make their way to the sixth year common room.

The common room was really a small classroom that had been renovated to ‘provide a peaceful studying environment’ for the sixth years in their free periods. In reality, the common room had to be the worst place to study in the whole school. An old TV sat in the corner of the room in front of a large sofa and several bean bags. In their first term Ruaridh had donated his Wii and it was common for several sixth-years to be enthralled in a highly competitive game of Mario-Kart. Due to this, the docking station and the number of people that were usually there, studying was impossible.

As Olivia entered the room, she inhaled the unmistakable scent of weed. This angered her, if the teachers found out they’d never be allowed to use the common room again. No doubt it was Sean and his mates. There was only ten people in the common room and surprisingly the Wii was free so Poppy and Olivia settled down on the sofas and chatted away to Lewis, who Olivia suspected had taken an interest in Mae.

Lewis was a good-looking boy with the ability to make people laugh in any situation. Poppy and Olivia soon found themselves howling with laughter as Lewis told them how he’d found himself locked outside his house naked yesterday. He’d just had a shower when he knocked his mother’s perfume out the window onto the roof of the kitchen below and had climbed out to get it. The window had shut behind him and unable to get down from the roof, he’d had to shout until someone had heard him, attracting the attention of many neighbours.

Olivia was still laughing when she felt a tap on her shoulder. From the stony look on Lewis’ face, she guessed it could be no one good. She was right.

“Can we talk?” Sean asked. From the rasp in his voice and the smell on his jumper, Olivia could tell he’d been smoking. As if to confirm this, Sean popped a piece of gum in his mouth before leading Olivia over to the window where no one was standing. Feeling Poppy and Lewis’ eyes on her, she hoped this would be brief.

“Gum?” Sean asked offering her a piece which she took with a mumbled thank you. Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Poppy and Lewis had returned to talking but were casting glances her way whenever possible.

“Look I’m really sorry about last night,” Sean said in hushed tones, moving closer as someone took a beanbag from beside them. Olivia didn’t like standing so close to him under the gaze of Poppy and Lewis but considering the windowsill was digging into her back, she didn’t have much of a choice.

“It’s fine,” Olivia said quietly, she was noticing other people in the room glancing over to them and the room had considerably quietened down as a few tried to hear what was being said.

“I can talk to Jack if you want? Had PE with him earlier. Thank fuck we were only playing tennis, think he might have tried to kill me,” Sean said with a laugh. Olivia didn’t join him. If Jack could be furious with Sean, she didn’t want to think of how furious he might be with her.

“Don’t talk to him, you’ve not done anything,” she whispered, gazing at the floor and biting her lip.

Sean chucked her chin, “Hey cheer up,” he said, standing closer still to Olivia and putting a comforting arm round her shoulder.

Olivia turned towards the window, not wanting anyone to see her miserable face. When Sean recoiled suddenly from Olivia, taking a very large step away from her, Olivia looked up in confusion.

Jack stood in the doorway of the common room, a shocked, pained look on his face. Spinning on his heels, he stormed out. Olivia tore past the onlookers and the sofa, desperate to get to him, to explain that what he thought he was seeing was wrong.

“Jack,” she yelled just as he was about to turn the corner to the staircase, “Jack please stop.”

He didn’t stop and Olivia sprinted after him, grabbing his hand when she’d finally caught up. Currents pulsed through her veins, filling her with warmth as her fingers momentarily entwined with his. For a second they both stood, staring at their clasped hands before Jack shook himself free.

“Please don’t go,” Olivia pleaded but Jack made no move to walk away. He glared down at her and for the first time in a few days, Olivia had a proper look at him, drank in his appearance. His golden-blonde hair was tousled and messy and Olivia remembered how it smelt when she cuddled into him at night. His arms looked muscular underneath his shirt and Olivia remembered how they felt when he embraced her. However his face was contorted with anger and Olivia could never remember being the cause of that look before. His beautiful, toffee eyes hardened and Olivia felt tears prick in the corner of hers as he looked up at them. She realised she’d been doing a lot of crying lately.

“Thought you didn’t like Sean?” Jack finally said, his voice gruff but the pain infused in his words were obvious.

“I- I only started talking to him yesterday, he was in the supermarket,” Olivia began. She’d thought in her head countless times the things she would say to Jack if she could just talk to him but now that he was here, standing right here, she couldn’t get the words out.

“You move on quick,” Jack scowled, “Very sorry to have disrupted your fun with him last night,” he said and Olivia couldn’t bear that Jack was talking to her like this.

“It’s not like that! Honestly!” she cried and suddenly, with no warning, the tears spilled over. Dropping her head into her palms, she tried furiously to stop but she couldn’t. Not only had she lost her best friend, Jack despised her.

“Olivia, don’t cry,” Jack’s voice softened and Olivia felt an awkward hand on her shoulder. “I wasn’t trying to make you cry.” The hand began to rub along her shoulder blades as she gave out a sob. Olivia slumped into Jack’s chest, her head still ducked as his warm arms wrapped round her, pulling her close. She felt his head rest on hers as she cried, her tears dampening his shirt.

The bell rang, shrill and loud. “Olivia we need to get away from here, people will be passing in a minute,” he said softly. He took her hand and guided her towards the nearby disabled toilet, letting the heavy door close behind them with a snap.

Olivia was still crying as she grabbed some paper towels and wiped her face. “I’m sorry,” she said.

With a gentle hand, Jack reached up and pushed the wet strands of hair away from her face before pulling her tighter to him, “Why are you crying?” he asked, rocking her in his arms.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, unsure how to answer and Jack laughed. The sound of his laugh only made Olivia feel worse - she’d missed it. “You’re daft,” he said fondly, “If anyone should be crying it’s me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for giving you no reason,” she said, her voice muffled by his chest.

Jack didn’t answer and Olivia looked up to catch him wiping his shirt sleeve across his eyes. He gave her a sad smile.

“I guess I just have to learn how to stop loving you,” he said and kissed her on the forehead with tender lips. Another lone tear tumbled down Olivia’s cheeks.

She guessed she had to stop loving Jack too.