Age Is Just a Number

"I'll be back soon, I promise," Beck's voice said. His figure was blurry. I nodded, mumbling an 'okay'. "Will she be alright?" There was worry in that voice.

"She will, Beck," Elizabeth's kind voice reasoned from my other side. "I'll take good care of her. Go." Beck's fingers detached from my own and his presence was gone. "Okay, Jess. We're gonna stitch you back up." The needle probed under my skin and I winced slightly.

Slowly, from the needle's entrance on, my body began to go numb. I was still conscious, but my body and mind felt light, like I was floating. My eyes followed the blurred movements over me, very delayed.

He's not coming back...

My body tensed up. No, no, no!

Yes, yes, yes... A deep, growling chuckle.

I squeezed my eyes shut at the mockery.

Jess, he's not coming back. How many times do we--

--have to tell you...He won't stay with you...

He'll just leave when he's done getting his thrill...

"Shut up," I growled, between clenched teeth.

"Jess? Everything okay?" Liz asked, but I ignored her.

He wouldn't stay faithful to Millie so--

--how are you any different? You're just his whore...

He doesn't care...

He laughs at you behind your back...

He hates you!

"Jess!"

I jerked awake, a scream tearing painfully from my throat, arching my back with its ferociousness. My side was burning, stinging, soaked. I looked down at my body, saw it covered in blood. My eyes traveled upwards. Chester was standing over me, icy eyes filled with hunger.

He looked away from me. "Elizabeth!" he yelled as my pain worsened. "Elizabeth!" He looked back at me and backed away, the sight of all the blood too much for him to bare. He bit his lip so hard, his own blood began to drip from the punctured skin.

I was panting, gasping for breath, my hands groping at the pain in my side. Elizabeth threw the curtain around my cot back and moved my hands away.

"She tore her stitches out," she mumbled to Charlie, who stood beside her. Her words made no sense to me. "Jess," she said to me, making my rolling eyes focus on her. "Why did you tear your stitches out?" Her voice was calm, but it hardly pacified me.

My lips stumbled around words, unable to focus on one thought from the other, only the voices hissing their insults and proclamations. "They--they--they said..." I croaked.

"Who, Jess? What'd they say?" She pressed down on my wound and I howled, trying to push her away. Charlie's hands pinned my arms down to the mattress. "Jess, listen to me!"

Don't listen! They're going to kill you!

You can't trust anyone...

I shook my head, screaming in rage and fear. My eyes rolled back in my head, my back arching from the cot, my legs kicking out, as I struggled to free myself. Someone else held my legs and I struggled harder, screamed louder.

Blood coursed onto the floor, sprayed across their clothes, across myself. Voices carried around me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the pain, the confusion, the fear, the anger. My body began to slowly grow numb and it didn't matter how much I fought it, it spread through my body until my muscles went slack and my vision faded to black.



My eyelids cracked opened, swiftly closing again when light spilled onto my sensitive pupils. I tried to stretch my locked-up limbs, but they were just that. Locked up. My eyes snapped open to look down at myself. My arms and legs were chained to the cot. An IV was stuck into the back of my hand.

The curtain suddenly drew back and I started. Elizabeth swept in and checked my IV. "How are you feeling?"

"I am so sorry," I said.

Liz offered a comforting smile. "Its alright, Jess. You went into shock." She unlocked the padlock and unwrapped the chains from around me.

I shook my head, staring at her fearfully because I had to tell her. "The voices are back," I said quietly, as though they might hear.

Elizabeth sat down beside me, face serious curiosity. "When did they return?"

"When you were sewing me back up," I said. "And they just kept talking and they told me...they told me if I ripped the stitches out, Beck would come back."

"You believed that?"

I nodded, realizing how stupid it was. "I don't know why. I just--"

"Jess, when you have trauma like you do, things won't make sense."

"Its because Beck left," I said, voice high with anxiety. "They quit when him and I...got together and now that he's gone, they're back."

Liz touched my arm. "Its possibly because they always came in stressful situations, right?" I nodded. "Since you and Beck have been together, you've had Beck as a sort of...security blanket. Your mind took him as a sort of remedy and now that he's gone and with the distress you went through, your mind went back to the voices."

"I barely made sense of any of that," I admitted after a moment of silence.

Elizabeth's red lips upturned in a small smile. "Its okay. I'm just agreeing that Beck is good for you."

I returned the friendly gesture. "Thank you."

Beck. Beck is bad.

My eyelids clamped shut. "Jess, what's wrong?"

'Jess, what's wrong? the voice mocked and then cackled. Stupid bitch. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"The voices," I hissed, grabbing my head.

"Don't listen to them, Jess. They're not real. I am though. Focus on me."

Shut up! She doesn't know what she say, Jess!

We're the only ones that know what you truly need.

Blood. You need the blood. The flesh. Kill something. Kill someone!

Kill--

I screamed, my fingernails digging into my scalp. Hands removed my own from my head and arms wrapped me into a tight hug. Elizabeth's voice cut through the hissing and spitting voices. It was soft, soothing, telling me everything would be okay.

But I knew she was lying. Until Beck returned, I was as good as completely insane. Even then...would he be able to pull me back to sanity?



The voices still persisted and--even though I knew it wasn't right--I couldn't ignore them any longer. I pretended to be fine, I didn't react when they started. I just listened. And the more I listened, the more sense they made.

Beck won't stay faithful. He'll leave you for something prettier...You can't marry him.

He's not any better than Sean. He's worse. He actually got a chance to fuck you. And now he'll fuck you over...

Kill him before he gets a chance...

"They're back!"

I jumped at the external shout and looked up from my paper plate of food. People were running past the tent's entrance and I got up from my seat at the bench with the other werewolves who had gathered for supper.

It was a cold night, snow lay thickly on the ground, reflecting the moon's light intensely. In the distance, small forms of light bobbed in the dark air, and as my eyes adjusted, I saw the forms of people walking towards the campsite.

They'd found the hostages. A relieved smile spread across my face and I jogged towards the oncoming group, searching for any familiar face. I looked around, spotting Beck towards the back.

My feet froze. In his strong arms was a girl, blond hair dirty, and thin arms tangled tightly around his neck.

He won't stay with you...

He'll move on to better things...

Look at how he's holding her...how she's touching him...

My vision twisted and I saw something completely different. Beck and the girl...in each others arms, their lips connected, naked bodies pressed together.

I gripped my head and let out a wail, my eyes staring blankly at the ground as I stumbled backwards. Un-human sounds escaped my lips as I tore at my hair, my neck.

He doesn't love you!

We told you that!

Kill him! Kill him now!

Mindless fury boiled up inside me, but no matter how strong it was, I couldn't kill him. I could not even let the thought pass my own thoughts.

Eyes turning black and teeth elongating. My body jerked rigidly as I backed away, still seeing that horrifying scene in front of me. I retreated into the darkness.

I don't know how long I ran for. My mind lost all sense of time and human thoughts. When I finally collapsed to my knees, I hunched over and vomited. Body quaking uncontrollably. I knelt there, rocking back and forth, whimpering quietly. My mind cleared only slightly. Enough to know I was lost and it was cold. And my neck and face was bleeding.

I crawled threw the trees, the snow biting mercilessly at my bare hands and knees. Tears poured down my face and I buried it in the snow, letting out a painful howl.

The first sign of them was their foreign smell. I jerked up just in time as they emerged from the trees. I growled and shrank back in a defensive position, my lips curling up. They moved in and I scrambled around, crouched over like a primate. I growled and lashed at them if they got too close. Just a frightened, furious animal.

Their guns clicked and I tried to make a break for the opening, but something tangled around my foot. Pulling me back into the circle of Slayers. The cable burned at my skin. Silver.

A gun pressed against my head and I swatted it away, lunging at its user. My arm was captured in another cable. I struggled to get away from its burning pain. Something slammed into the back of my head and I fell face-first into the snow.

Fogginess crept through my brain and I struggled to look up at Ericson's familiar face hovering over me.

His face was set grimly. "Don't even try."