Sucide Letters

"Baby, you are my everything." Her voice flooded out every other thought in my head as the cool breeze danced across my bare skin, I was trying to absorb the moment because I knew in a few short days the distance would grow farther than before, even if she was only flying back home. I knew that it would be the same number of miles as it had always been, but I was afraid the distance would feel even farther than it had before. The nights would grow colder and winter would grow longer as we counted down the days until her cross country move. School would be my worst enemy when summer finally come to a close, and we had to wait for her senior year to float on by. A year was a long ass time to wait for the one you love to hold you in their arms again. In this moment I knew that, so I listened, and closed my eyes to let my senses take over completely. I never want to forget this moment. Her lips brushed my temple and I pressed closer into her side as the waves crashing on the beach grew louder. "Courtney baby? You are my shooting star." The smile in her voice made the butterflies in my stomach completely go crazy. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. "Sweetness? Tell me what you are thinking?"

"I love you Erin." The words slipped out, loud and clear. My stomach dropped in fear that the feeling wasn't mutual. Love has always held a firm grip on my heart when it comes to Erin. Although
we both fear what that means, Erin was deathly afraid to let me fall for her, I never understood why. Her body became tight for a moment, then she released the air in her lungs. She didn't want
to hurt me, she didn't love herself. So she never understood how I could.

"Courtney," She paused and I was bracing myself for a lecture. "I love you."