Newer Beginnings

I''ve been on the road for a while now, traveling along in my rattling car. It's broken down five times since I started, but I refuse to trade it in. Can't afford to trade it in. One day it'll break down completely, and when that happens, I guess I'll have to walk.

I don't have a destination but I continue to drive anyway, hoping to find something amongst the vast emptiness of the freeway. Sometimes I pick up a hitchhiker but mostly it's just me, alone with my thoughts.

I can't remember why I started this journey. I think I wanted something new, to find something that would fill this ache inside of me, but so far my wanderlust has remained unsatisfied. I wanted something different, and I suppose I got it - this life is pretty much the opposite to my old life. Unstable, uncertain and lonely. I was looking for a new beginning and ended up with some new problems to add to the old ones. I had this idea that getting away from it all would lead to better things, would change me somehow, but it didn't. But then, maybe the problem wasn't my situation. Maybe the problem was me.

I have often thought about turning back and returning to my old life, but I don't know if I could, don't know if I could bare to. So I continue down the road, praying that I will last for one more mile and hoping for the cure to my emptiness.

Perhaps I need a newer beginning.