Bittersweet

It’s been a month since Georgie has seen Adam, she omitted that he needed as much space as he needed and while he did that, she reevaluated everything. Every idea or outcome that could possibly happen for them includes a relationship.

Would she want a relationship that is built on a lack of trust?

She is by far not prepared for that when she barely could trust herself in certain situations that she came across. So, to vent to someone that is far from judgmental and thanked the stars that Tess wasn’t there, she leaned on Emerson.

“That’s…totally fucked up. Pardon my French.” Emerson breathed out as she listened to the full story. The blonde glanced at her sister, her features filled with aggravation and despair. “It’s not like you to be knee deep in that type of stuff, G.”

Her arm covered her eyes as Georgie mumbled, “I know.” She groaned, flipping herself onto her stomach, her arm draped over the couch and her nails plucking the fibers of the carpet. It isn’t like her to be stuck in some drama like this, never did she expect this and that is why she always slept with men outside of her circle of friends which is never a problem.

Emerson sitting on another couch still within distance to play with the strands of her sister’s hair, she muddled over the facts that have been brought to her. Speaking truthfully, “I have no idea why Adam would feel entitled to be pissed about you sleeping with Jesse. That went on between you and Jess, yes it was cruel that Jesse slept with you despite him knowing Adam’s feelings for you, but it’s not like Adam has been a complete angel.”

Georgie agreed, Adam shouldn’t feel entitled, but he did. He reared up the conversation to himself thinking of the situation the wrong way. She felt like she might have compromised her friendship with Jesse not Adam and with Jesse easily overlooking what they have done, he advised they come out truthfully to the singer.

One thing she did not expect to have such a blowout.

“I’ve been thinking.” Licking her lips, her gaze fixated on the carpet. “What if Adam forgave me and wanted a relationship out of this? I already know what I am going to do with every other situation except this one.”

Emerson hummed, clearly thinking before she stated, “If it’s taking you this long to figure it out then clearly you don’t want it. You’re afraid that Adam might start dating you to spite Jesse or there is an undertone of working on the forgiveness part which there should be none except the exchange between you and Jesse.”

“It’s been a month, G. Long overdue for a talk that should have been done weeks ago.” Emerson spoke sharply, “There shouldn’t be that much of a gap for a break.” Georgie laid there in silence as she listened to what her sister had to say. “You should go to him, force him to talk to you because he is going to avoid you as long as possible. I can assure you.”

Without a doubt in her mind she knew that is exactly what is happening. Adam is avoiding this conversation he did not want to have. Milking the conflict until his temper settled down a bit more or the ache that he felt would succumb to numbness that he didn’t care about Georgie anymore.

“Okay.” She simply said.

There isn’t much left to say. Emerson being the great older sister smiled cheerfully, “Great! Let’s go the movies! I have been dying to see that new chick flick.” Georgie rolled her eyes, disgusted at the aspect of sitting there watching such a cheesy movie, but if anyone could make her sit through something like that; it’s her sister, Emerson.

The one sister she would gladly do anything for.

Catching an early showing, Georgie sat in the darkness thinking through everything that has unsettled her in the past month. Highly doubting that Adam would want a relationship from this; she told herself to take a few steps back questioning if she wanted this friendship to continue.

Still raw from the emotions that were inflicted, she bit her lip wondering if she should start over. Laughter that filled the theater brought her out of her reverie as she noticed Emerson glancing at her with an earth shattering smile, eyes sparkling with amusement. Georgie smiled widely at her sister’s glee before they both turned to watch the remainder of the movie.

Staying with her sister for most of the day got her thinking of her approach. Emerson told her not to think about it too much giving she will say something stupid. Agreeing to those terms, she found herself parked outside of Adam’s house, the same one that he rarely is in.

Coming unannounced may have the door slammed in her face. Bringing forth her courage she took those steps to the porch to ring the doorbell. Taking a step back, her eyes wandered to the closed blinds and the lack of light that usually would illuminate the house when he was home. She rang the doorbell again for safe measures before wandering towards the side.

She called him twice only for him to send her straight to voice mail. If she could guess his mood then he will refuse to talk to her in a phone call because he can; everyone has the power to accept or decline when it came to technology. It’s a lot harder when you are face to face with someone.

Georgie made a few calls pensive that she found out that Adam is last seen walking out of a strip club and into a hotel room. Obviously he wanted some alone time since his home couldn’t provide that for him; still he never really liked being alone in his home for too long before seeking company.

Taking the risk of interrupting his fun which sent a painful twist in her gut at the thought; she gathered the information before driving over. Placing her hands in her jacket pockets, running her blunt nail against the edge of her phone, she walked into the sleek elevator with a few others, pressing the needed number before it slowly ascended.

The couple that stood on the far corner whispered hotly at each other, the tiara and cheap veil had her consider that they just got married or had some weird fantasy of being married without actually committing the act. She rather not congratulates the couple considering it may transpire into a full blown conversation which she rather not have in her state of mind.

Luckily, the couple got off a floor below her and seconds later the door slowly opened to the floor Adam stayed in. Taking in the smell of fresh carpet, the familiar scent of a new hotel and freshly painted walls and murals. Her eyes darted at each number going further down until she saw the double oak doors for the exclusive members.

Expensive taste, not surprising considering the man pays three hundred dollars for plain white tees. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door a little forceful than she anticipated. Georgie exhaled nervously as she waited for him to open the door.

When one of the doors swung open, Georgie swallowed her fear as she is met with a half-naked Adam with no recognition of who is standing at his door. “We need to talk.” She put it bluntly, forcing herself in, prepared for him to haul her back into the hallway and tell her to leave. Her arms went stiff as she felt his hand wrap around her bicep.

“No, we don’t.”

“I highly disagree.” Her eyes darted around to see if there is any clue if anyone was there or not. “Is someone here because they need to leave.” She crossed her arms as he glared at her stubbornly.

“It’s none of your concern if someone is here and we have nothing to talk about.”

“So you agree? That it’s none of my business. What Jesse and I did was mine and his concern, not yours. But you took it as your own problem and made it worse than it actually is! You don’t own me, Adam and I refuse to have you ignore me after a month because this is slowly going to be a pattern of you never confronting this.” Georgie fumed anger and hurt cross her heart as Adam stood firmly in his place, agitated. “You should know me better than this. I solve problems; I am a lawyer after all.”

Adam sneered, “Lawyers also manipulate and lie, you got that down perfectly.”

It took all of her not to rip his throat out for his childish behavior, but she chided, “Takes one to know one.” This is probably the lowest she has been in a long time and it hurt her more than she has let on; her most trustworthy friend doesn’t rely on her anymore. He looks at her like she has backstabbed him multiple times, the way he looked at Jane.

All these emotions filtering within her, Adam took this time to approach her. Hazel eyes blazing, “As much as you say it’s your and Jesse’s problem, the one thing you were afraid is to tell me what happened. Friends don’t hide shit like this from others; this is a fragile line between friends and crossing over to fucking it up by sleeping with each other.”

“But it would have been fine if we slept together.” She refuted, her vision getting blurry as she spoke. “If it was you and not Jesse, we wouldn’t have this conversation. You probably would have brushed it off saying it was the heat of the moment, having me swear not to tell anyone while you start fucking other women.”

“Fucking Christ, G!” Adam added pressure to his temples as he waved his hands wildly around him. “That’s hypothetical and I would never do that to you! You know that!” Georgie’s upper lip became firm as she bitterly laughed, the whole situation felt like a mirage, and a stupid slap in the face.

“Then why do I feel like you would?” Tilting her head to the side, closing in on him as she dared looked into his eyes. The ones that hardened at such a close distance and attempted to close her off completely. “Would you have told me that you love me? No, you wouldn’t. You would have used me and then throw me away like every other man I ever cared about.”

Those conflicts that she had since childhood came forth; most of her relationships except one used her body to an escape. So in turn, she used them before they can use her if that made any sense. Georgie wanted to be the heartbreaker; she could handle that so much more than having her heart broken.

Her fragile state of mind cut through her so easily; slipping back into that mindset is almost natural as Adam stood there recognizing all those emotions that is going through her.

Adam sighed; still opposed his hand cupped her cheek in comfort. “I don’t know what I would have done.” He spoke truthfully, speaking in such theoretical terms made him uneasy and seeing her sinking herself deeper into that had him pity her.

Lies.

That’s all she could think of when he spoke to her; she could feel the lies coming off him in waves. With a shaky breath, she whispered brokenly. “If you want me to be out of your life, all you had to do is tell me.”

“I never want that…I love you too much to tell you that, kiddo.” The tension that grew thick around them slowly started to descend as he came down to meet her half way to see through her eyes; to take the time and see where she is coming from. He couldn’t quite understand it, but he has seen her like this more times than none to not say, “I love you.”

His fingers lightly going through her hair as he sent her a smile. “I was…jealous. I can’t bear the thought of you being with Jesse; I could care less about some stranger, they never knew you well enough for me to worry. Jesse has been through the ringer with you. Someone you can depend on other than myself and that scared me…and I was avoiding you because I thought you were going to tell me that you love Jesse.”

It sounded so stupid the more words came out of his mouth; he still hasn’t heard from Georgie as she stood there. “You’re so stupid.” Bringing her arms around him, she brought him close as he settled against her, apologizing for what he has done. “You do realize you owe me?”

“I know I have a lot of groveling to do.” Adam admitted and if this is what it takes for them to be okay then he will do it every single day until she forgave him completely.