‹ Prequel: Seashells

Palm Trees

tell me what you desire

The voice was feminine. It was a voice that brought me back in time, reminded me of sand and saltwater, wind and sunshine. I knew it very well. I knew the way the lips it came from felt against mine.

But it wasn't you. It wasn't you.

"Sim?" was all I managed to croak out. I was too surprised for anything more complex.

"That's me," she said. She looked the same as she always did - made up and pretty. It seemed like nothing had changed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was told to come here," I said. I pulled the little scrap of paper Matt had given me and showed it to her. "This is the right address, right?"

She looked at it. "Yeah. Who gave you that?"

"Matt."

"What?"

"He told me to come here." That was only partially true, because he didn't exactly tell me. He kind of just shoved the paper in my face and slammed the door.

"Coming to try to win back my heart?" she asked, referencing our past relationship that I can't ever forget. "Sorry. Taken."

"No." I was still confused. Why was I standing on Sim's doorstep? Then it clicked. You were best friends with her on the island. It would make sense for you to move in with each other, wouldn't it? "I'm looking for Cassidy."

Her brow wrinkled. "Why would you look for her here?"

"Doesn't she live with you?" We were both getting confused. Maybe Matt was trying to get back at me. Maybe you two had teamed up and planned this.

"No... I live here with my boyfriend. That's it. I haven't talked to Cassidy in like... wow, it's been a while."

"Then why the hell would Matt tell me to come here?"

"I don't know. No one ever knows what Matt is thinking. Why are you even looking for Cassidy, anyway?"

"It's a long story." I said, sighing.

"Come in and tell me then."

I went into her house. It was less glamorous than what I expected from her. I guess years have changed us all. I didn't bring the letters. I didn't want to show her because I felt like she would have gotten offended at some parts. I figured it was just a better idea to stay away from it.

"So what are you going to tell her?" Sim asked when I was done with the story. "What's the point of going to see her?"

"I don't know." She asked the same questions I was asking myself, and I still didn't have an answer.

"Really, Aden. What are you going to do? She basically just confessed her love to you. What, are you going to tell her you love her back and everything is going to be fixed?"

"No." I couldn't. I had Hannah. She was already planning out wedding. I couldn't possibly... cheat. I knew I came close to it on the island, but I changed. I had everything I wanted at home, didn't I?

Sim laughed, even though I found nothing funny about it. "See, it doesn't work that way. Don't you have Hannah? Don't you have everything you want now?"

"I... yes?"

"Then why are you going to Cassidy, ditching everything you have at home?"

I thought about it for a while. Then I said, "I change my answer. I don't have everything I want."

"See, this is your problem, Aden," she said. "Even on the island, if everything you tell me is true."

"What is?"

"You don't know what you want. I think you need to decide."

I thought back to the island. Before everything happened. When we went to the carnival, before I had someone else waiting on me. Why weren't we together? You were waiting for me to ask. Why didn't I ask you? Then I realized how right Sim was. I didn't know what I wanted back then, and even now, I still didn't know.

"I want to see Cassidy," I said firmly.

"No shit. You came all this way looking for her. But after that, what do you want? Are you going to go back to Hannah?"

I didn't have an answer for that. Not at all. I loved Hannah, I was sure I did. We were getting fucking married for God's sake. Yet for some reason, I wanted nothing more but to push her out of my mind for a while.

"I can't answer that. All I know is that I need to get to Cassidy."

"You haven't changed a bit, have you Aden?" She rolled her eyes in a way that made me go back in time, to the past. It hurt to think about it, when it should have been a happy memory.

I didn't say anything. She got out a piece of paper and wrote something down on it. It was an address. Now I realized why Matt sent me here. He wouldn't tell me your address, because he was keeping his promise to you, but he didn't have anything against me. He knew Sim would lead me to you. So he was helping me after all.

I looked at the address, and it was located somewhere in California. "Are you serious?"

"She ran away. Not literally, but she told me she needed to get away from the east coast. She said too much happened. She needed to forget everything."

I could tell Sim wasn't lying at all. They were the exact words you had used before, in one of the letters. "Thanks."

"Are you still going to see her? It's kinda far, you know."

I answered immediately, without a second thought. "Yes."

She nodded, then scribbled something else on the paper. "Here."

"What's this?" I was looking at a phone number.

"It's my number. Be sure to tell me when you've figured out what it is that you want."

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