What We Left Unsaid

The festival actually hadn’t been a complete failure.

And that was unfair of Brian to say, really, because it had actually been quite a good show... it just wasn’t the same show. And not that any of their shows ever were the exact same as another, but it... It was different, for plenty of reasons.

The most glaringly obvious reason of all being that all of their absolute best friend and -- at least in their honest opinions -- the best drummer on the planet hadn’t been there. They’d just done a show without Jimmy. Even when any of the other guys had gotten injured or completely too shit-faced to perform, they’d never had someone stand in for them. When Johnny had been drunk as hell and had sat down and played a note behind the rest of them for literally the entire concert, they’d only had his mic turned completely down and taken out of the mix. When Zacky’d broken his fingers on tour -- on Johnny’s face -- he’d just dealt with it and gone on. They’d never had a stand in until that night. Someone else had sat behind them and played the drums to their song. Jimmy wasn’t with them.

But the fans had been, and the sea of supportive signs that had greeted them had proven it. And, hell, perhaps Jimmy had been there in spirit. How the fuck should he know? All Brian knew was that it just wasn’t the same, and it never would be again.

He honestly hadn’t expected them to even be able to do it. The entire trip and the entire pre-show set-up, he had just been so numb. He honestly had thought that when it was their time to get on stage, they wouldn’t be able to do it... but it had actually felt good to be out there again. After everything that had happened in the last year, it felt good to be honoring their brother and bandmate through the songs he had helped write. But it also felt surreal. He still wasn’t convinced it had happened.

The fact that throughout the entire set, his friend and fellow guitarist had acted like he’d used to, had interacted with him as if the whole Ava-situation hadn’t ever happened, only made him more sure that he’d probably dreamt the entire thing.

“You’re lost in your head again.”

But she wasn’t a dream, and the sting that he felt on his arm from where she had slapped him to gain his attention was certainly very real. “Sorry,” came his half-hearted apology as he gave his head a soft shake and turned it back in her direction, trying on a sheepish smile for size when he noticed how solemn her expression was.

She shrugged off his apology completely. “You guys did great, you know,” she told him for what had to have been the hundredth time that night... or was it morning now? “You looked like you had fun out there.”

“We did.” His confirmation came easily and honestly, but his tone didn’t even begin to match his words.

“I know,” was all the woman said in response, her lips tugging down into a frown and her hand reaching out to cover his. He knew she wasn’t talking about knowing they’d had fun. He knew she felt it too -- differently, perhaps, but still. He took a deep sip from the beer in front of him, watching as her expression suddenly switched to one of determination. He already knew he wasn’t going to like this. “Fuck this, Bri!” she declared, pulling her hand back and slapping the table in a way that actually startled him. “This isn’t what he’d want, and you damn well know it. We owe it to him to get drunk and have fun like we always did after a concert. He’d slap the both of us for sitting over in the corner of this club alone and brooding. So get your ass up now and let’s go dance and make him proud, alright?”

It was easier said than done, but he knew it was easier to go along with Ava than to try and fight her once she had her mind set on something. So, downing the rest of his beer in a few very large gulps and getting to his feet, he sighed and nodded just as determinedly. “Let’s go.”

And, despite his best intentions to stay pissy and broody, it was after only the third song of dancing with his lifelong friend that he was grinning again and forgetting his worries. It was after only the fifth song that they were both being their usual dorky selves and over-doing every motion and pretty much causing a scene to those around them. For one particularly drunken move, Brian had actually gone ahead and lifted her by the hips into the air and spun around with her. Had they not been werewolves, that would probably have ended very poorly.

The fourteenth song was a slower one, and they both needed the time to catch their breath as they leaned against each other, Brian’s head resting right atop Ava’s and their bodies barely swaying. It was halfway through the song when he noticed she wasn’t just resting her head against his chest, but actually watching something off in the distance, but he was too lazy to actually turn his head and look. “What’re you staring at?”

“Nothing,” she answered easily, her tone giving him no reason to suspect she was lying. But she was too easily impatient to watch nothing for more than a few seconds, and he knew she wasn’t telling the truth. So, as he lifted his head and turned it to match her angle, he tried to figure out what it was that was so interesting to her. And, as he waited for the people dancing around them to move their stupid fucking heads and clear the way, he prayed that it wasn’t Zacky.

Matt and Kat. He caught a glimpse of them after only a few seconds, swaying together over at the other end of the dance floor, just smiling at each other as if no one else in the world existed. Her red hair was uncharacteristically messy as she smiled warmly up at her mate, laughing loud enough for Brian to catch the sound when the taller man leaned down and whispered something apparently funny to her. His own heart tightened at the sight.

“Ava,” he started softly, tilting his head down to look at the top of the blonde head still resting against his chest.

“I’m happy for him, Bri.”

“I know you are,” he confirmed quickly, having heard the sincerity in her words, but knowing that it didn’t mean she was happy. Even her sincere tone couldn’t convince him of that, and he had a feeling it was more than just missing Jimmy that was bringing her down. He sighed, “but being happy for him doesn’t make it easier to watch, does it?”

She pulled away from him then, her expression extremely guarded and her eyes filled with suspicion as she looked up at him. “What exactly are you trying to say with that load of bullshit, Haner?”

He had said it vaguely for a reason, but he should have known she wouldn’t follow along. With a sad smile, he lifted a hand to brush some hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. She looked wary. “Are you starting to regret the whole let’s-just-be-mates-on-paper-so-we-don’t-actually-have-to-be-mates thing?”

As expected, her gaze hardened as she stepped away from him, forcing him to let his arms drop back to his sides. “You know I don’t need anything more than that, Brian,” she told him somewhat stiffly. “I don’t need a mate.”

He didn’t care that they were having this conversation in the middle of the dance floor; they were talking softly enough that humans wouldn’t be able to really hear them over the music, and no one was really paying attention anyways. Sighing again, he gave a sympathetic shake of his head. “Need and want are two very different things, Babe.”

The look on her face told him she had misunderstood him before she even opened her mouth and proved it. “If you think I actually want to have what Matt and Kat have with Baker, then you’re comple--”

“That’s not what I meant,” he interrupted quickly, giving an adamant shake of his head. “It doesn’t have be about Zacky at all. But you want to have a mate -- an actual mate -- or at least have the ability to have one in the future, don’t you? You regret ruining that possibility, and the possibility of having pu--kids, don’t you?”

The moment where his question hung in the air between them told him everything he needed to know, even when she finally snorted and rolled her eyes. “What do you take me for, Brian? A sad little girl that needs a man to wrap his big strong arms around her in order to be happy?”

“Damn it, Ava, I take you for a fucking person!” he snapped, though his volume still remained carefully low. “I take you for the strongest woman I know, but a woman who is still fucking alive and still has fucking feelings! And I take you for a fucking werewolf, who has a fucking inherent need to not be alone! That’s what I fucking take you for!”

There was a long pause where she just stood there looking into his eyes, her expression completely cold and detached, before she finally broke the silence. “And I take you for a fucking fool,” she returned evenly, before sighing and running a hand through her hair. “Look, Bri: you’re clearly exactly drunk enough to want to talk about me and Zacky, and I’m really starting to want to strangle this side of you, so why don’t we drop this bullshit and go over to the bar? Maybe a few more drinks will actually get you out of this talkative mood and get us back to what we’re here to do, yeah?”

He wanted to fight her on it. He wanted to reach forward and grab her and drag her to a quiet corner and finish the conversation, because this wasn’t about him being drunk, and this wasn’t something that was going to just pass over like she wanted it to. He wanted to help her.

No matter how much she hated Zacky and didn’t want anything to do with him in that way, Brian knew that the wolf part of her still yearned to have a mate. And no matter how much she swore up and down that she hated pups and had no desire to ever have any, he knew that deep down, having that possibility eliminated from her future must have been eating at her. She’d mentioned wanting them back when they were kids, and although things like that can obviously change, he’d never forget the way her innocent little face had lit up at the mention of pups when she had professed how much she would make sure they were loved, how she’d someday have family that actually was a family. He knew she’d never have that family she’d wished for, and she didn’t have to still want them now to feel the loss of that dream.

But he didn’t voice any of those thoughts or do any of those things, because he knew she wouldn’t ever admit even to herself that even a fraction of what he said was even partially true. He knew she wasn’t just suggesting they go and get another drink, but telling him it was either that, or she was done -- done with the conversation and done with him, for the night and possibly even longer than that.

So when she raised an eyebrow pointedly, Brian only nodded, stepped forward, and wrapped his arm over her shoulder like absolutely nothing was wrong. He then proceeded to lead her over to the bar and order the both of them another beer without even saying a word to her. The only thing he could think of saying to her was something he knew she didn’t want to hear.

Luckily for him, she didn’t wait for him to start the new conversation. “So, you and Baker seemed pretty chummy up on stage, earlier,” she observed as she leaned against the bar’s counter, beer in hand. “You two getting on better, now?”

“So, we can’t talk about Zacky and you but we can talk about Zacky and me?”

“He’s one of your best friends, Bri,” she told him, otherwise ignoring his point. “I know he means a lot to you, and I know everything with me here now has put a strain on that. I just want you to know that I... that I never wanted to cause problems for the two of you, alright?”

Despite the fact that his was not the Zacky relationship he was most interested in discussing, and despite the fact that she was doing exactly the kind of thing she had just yelled at him for doing, he couldn’t help but send his old friend an appreciative smile. “I know that, Ava,” he assured her, “and I need you to know that you didn’t cause any problems, alright? My issues aren’t with anything you’ve done, and his issues? He just has issues; that’s just normal.” He’d meant it as a joke, and had hoped it would diffuse the tension between them, but of course she’d only frowned in response.

“But not with you, Bri. The seven of you guys -- fuck! -- the six of you guys, you’ve always been the best group of friends out there. You’ve always been solid. You’ve had issues with other people, not with each other, and all of--”

“Ava!” he interrupted, putting down his beer on the counter beside him. He also snatched hers from out of her grip and placed it down beside her, before grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a shake. “Ava, this isn’t about you. Alright? It’s got nothing to do with you. Things haven’t been solid with us since Jimmy died, alright? It’s been a tough year, and Zacky and I have made that tougher because we’ve always been competitive as hell with each other. There was friction there before you appeared on our doorstep, Sweetheart, and as much as I know you want to think everything is always about you, the world actually doesn’t--”

“Bastard!” Her interruption had come with a laugh and a punch to his side, which had been exactly what he’d been hoping for.

He cracked a smile of his own, giving her shoulder a pat, before leaning in closer and making sure she could tell how serious he was being. “It’s not about you,” he reaffirmed. Only after she sighed and nodded did he finally break the intense look he’d been giving her, instead pulling her into a tight, long hug before sighing over-exaggeratedly and letting go. He was quick to reach for his beer. “Now, dear God, what were you saying about dropping all of this depressing shit and going back to getting wasted and having a blast?”

He couldn’t even begin to describe how happy he was when only laughed and turned around to reach for her own beer, lifting it and clinking it with his. “Cheers, you bipolar ba--”

”RINALDI!”

And speaking of the devil... Brian was quick to lower his glass before he could even take a sip, looking over the blonde’s shoulder and making a face of obvious exasperation. From all the way over at the other end of the bar, Zacky had appeared out of nowhere and was pushing his way past people, green eyes narrowed and expression angry once again. From the irritation that appeared on her face the moment before she spun around to look at the other guitarist, it appeared Ava was just as excited to see Zacky as he was.

“Put it down!” was all the Italian offered in explanation when he had their complete attention. He was still making his way over to them, but his volume had dropped considerably, and that intense gaze of his was now completely locked on Ava’s.

“What?” Her exasperation with the broody man’s antics was obvious.

“Put the fucking drink down now!”

Brian was bewildered, and he was sure his friend beside him was, too, but he watched as she slowly lowered the glass in her hand. “Why?” she questioned only after she had returned it to waist-height. “It’s just a beer, Baker.”

“No,” the other man disagreed, having only just made it over to them. From where he stood only a few feet in front of them, the shorter guitarist extended a hand toward the glass, fingers stretching out irritably when it wasn’t immediately handed over, “it’s not. Give it here; there’s something in it.”

Brian was the first to scoff. ”Dude,” he stressed, “she already drank from it; there’s nothing in it!”

Those dark green eyes were pinned on him the second he spoke, somehow more furious than they had been when they were looking at the woman. But Zacky didn’t respond to him, instead just looking back down at Ava and snarling with irritation. He didn’t ask again, choosing instead to just snatch the glass from her hand and hold it up to his nose. His face remained expressionless.

“Even if there was something in it, Zee, drugging a drink doesn’t affect our kind. For Christ’s sake, Man, give her back the fucking beer! Or, hell, I’ll order her another one. Whatthefuckever.”

He was already turning to wave down the bartender when the rhythm guitarist reached forward and grabbed the woman’s wrist. “Open your hand and bite your fucking tongue, got it?”

Temporarily forgetting about ordering the new beer, Brian stepped closer with dark brows furrowed. He didn’t understand where this was going. But, when Ava slowly turned her hand palm-up and extended her fingers, as instructed, and Zacky gave the glass just enough of a quick tilt that a little bit of the beer splashed over the edge and landed on Ava’s palm, he suddenly knew exactly what was going on. There was a loud hiss from blonde as she jumped back a bit, pulling her hand from the man’s grip and shaking it violently in front of her. When Zacky then grabbed her wrist again and held her hand still, there was a scorched, bright-red palm glaring back up at them.

“Silver!? Oh fuck!” Brian could barely comprehend what was going on, but he was quick to set his own drink aside, no longer even slightly interested in getting drunk. ”Who?”

“Doesn’t matter; they’re already gone.”

Brian begged to differ, because it sure as hell did matter, and because they could always try to track the asshole that had tried to poison his best friend. “The fuck it does--”

”Gates!” his fellow guitarist snapped, before quickly dropping his volume to below what the humans around them would be able to hear. “It’s too fucking late. They moved too fast to be a hunter, alright? And any wolf would be long gone by now. Besides, they only went after her drink. Not yours. Not any of the rest of ours. Hers.”

His gaze dropped quickly to her neck, but the scarf she had been using to cover the marking her neck was still secure and hadn’t budged a centimeter the entire night; it was a targeted attack by someone who already had known what she was. It didn’t take him long to reach the conclusion, and when he did, he was cursing and running a hand through his hair. “Drake? Fuck! We didn’t think he’d try anything here!” he hissed, before suddenly stiffening. “I’m going to go get Matt and--”

“No!”

Both of the betas had interrupted him at the same time, the blonde spinning around sharply so that she was facing him completely now. Brian couldn’t help but freeze, confusion clear on his face as he stepped back toward them to make up for the ground he had just tried to cover in the opposite direction. It didn’t escape his notice that that one little word was the first thing Ava had said since Zacky’s little revelation. “What do you mean, no?”

“There’s nothing he can do about it right now, Bri!” the woman declared. “He’s clearly not a target right now, so there’s no danger in just letting him have this one--”

“He’d want to know!” he interrupted incredulously, unable to believe that two of his friends were standing here suggesting that they lie to their alpha about a fucking attempted poisoning. He could hardly even believe that the two of them were agreeing with each other in the first place.

“But he doesn’t need to know!”

“Give him tonight, Man; he deserves to relax and have a little bit of fun with his mate. There’s no reason to take that small bit of happiness away from him right now... It’s been a hard day for all of us... or, almost all of us.”

The lead guitarist couldn’t help but be a little bit proud when Ava managed to avoid rising to that particular bait, and instead only took a deep breath and nodded her agreement. “It’s not like we can do anything about it right now, anyways, Bri. We can deal with this in the morning. Plus, we’re not in our territory.”

There was a long, tense moment of silence while he thought through everything they were saying. He knew that there wasn’t anything that could actually be done until they got back to their territory, and he knew that Matt definitely deserved to enjoy the rest of his night -- they all did -- but he also knew that their alpha would be beyond pissed if they didn’t immediately tell him. In the end, it was the glance he sent over his shoulder at the happily dancing alpha pair that made up his mind. Turning back to the two betas, he shook his head in obvious disapproval and jabbed an accusatory finger at the both of them. “We tell him the second we get back tomorrow!” he ground out, before turning to Ava and grabbing her just a little bit roughly by the shoulder. “And you’re coming back to the hotel with me. Now.”

She didn’t fight him on either of his declarations, but she did tug her arm back when he tried to pull her immediately toward the entrance. Brain let out a very soft growl of warning, but she wasn’t looking at him, she was looking at Zacky.

”Thank you,” she told him seriously, only to earn an unamused roll of those sharp green eyes in response.

“Yeah, well, just to be clear, it’s nothing personal; I didn’t do this for you. You’re blackmailing me, Rinaldi, or did you already forget? I can’t exactly let you die without knowing how to brew that tea, can I?”

He didn’t need to pull her toward the entrance again, because the second those words left the other guitarist’s mouth, it was she who lead the way.