Sequel: Slip

What We Left Unsaid

T H I R T Y - F I V E

“Oh, please, please don’t look at me like that!”

Blinking his own eyes immediately closed, the man turned away from the onlooker, not wanting to see that expression he knew would be staring right back at him. Lifting a hand, he rubbed over his face for a minute before allowing his palm and fingers to settle over his eyes, as if it would somehow keep the mental image away. Even with his head tucked down and turned aside, he didn’t risk blinking open his eyes.

It was far easier and far safer to simply keep them closed, to pretend that what he couldn’t see didn’t exist, that everything hat had happened in the past hadn’t really happened, and that what had happened that very day hadn’t happened. He could pretend that each and every one of his friends was alive and well, that no one was currently trying to kill each other, that, at least to his knowledge, no one had tried to kill each other in the past. And as long as he had his eyes closed, as long as he wasn’t looking at that damned expression, he could pretend.

But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t hear the soft footsteps, or feel the small hand that landed gently on his shoulder. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel that familiar stirring within him at her mere touch. And more importantly, he couldn’t pretend the year hadn’t happened because that would mean pretending she hadn’t happened, and no matter how fucked up things had gotten...

He exhaled deeply, melting into her touch a bit as he felt her hands run up from his shoulders over his neck and to his cheeks. He didn’t fight her when she guided his head up, when she nudged his hand away from his face. He let her cup his cheeks with her palms, felt her press her lips ever so gently to his wrinkled brow. It took him a moment, but he opened his hazel eyes and looked right into those deep green ones of hers, full of understanding, compassion, heartache, and sorrow. She was kneeling right in front of the chair he was hunched over in, only inches away, but he couldn’t stand the distance.

“I need to...” he started to tell her, before just giving his head a rough shake and leaning forward suddenly. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around her torso and he lifted her with ease into his lap, holding her to him as if his life depended on it. It very well might have. “I love you, Kitten,” he told her fiercely, tucking his face into the crook of her neck and letting his eyes blink shut for a very different reason this time. “Just give me a second, alright?”

She didn’t complain; she never did. He could feel her nod against his own shoulder, could feel her hands rubbing slowly on his back, and for no real reason at all, he was calmer. Her touch might not have been enough to take the worry away or give him a clear-cut solution to his problems, but it calmed him in a way that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to explain, and it reminded him that everything hadn’t gone to hell.

“I don’t know what to do,” he told her after a few long moments of silence, his voice catching a bit at the admission. He always knew what to do, or at least knew a few solid options of what to do. And that was a lie, because he hadn’t had any idea what he was supposed to do when Jimmy had passed away, either. He didn’t want to go back to that. “I didn’t think I’d have to know... I didn’t let myself think that it was true. I was hoping... God! I was praying that he was wrong, that he had somehow convinced himself to believe that she was involved just because he hated her so much. I was pissed at her, because even I knew I was grasping at straws, but I was still hoping that there was a chance...”

He could feel her nod again into his shoulder, understanding and compassionate as always. He was doing a terrible job of explaining what was going on inside of his mind, but she understood, just as she always did. He couldn’t have been more thankful.

“And now... how can it hurt so much more right now when I already knew deep down that he was right? How is that possible?” He trailed off for another moment, just taking the time to breathe and concentrate on the feeling of the redheaded woman in his arms. “It doesn’t matter, anyways, because I just need to accept the fact that she isn’t who I thought she was -- she never was. If she could look him in the eyes and paraphrase what he had said right before she had arranged to have him tortured for multiple fucking days... You were right to not trust her, and I should have trusted you.”

“No, Matt, no one was right. There’s absolutely nothing right about this situation, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about what’s already happened. You can’t change how you felt about her, you can’t change that they are mates now, and you can’t take away his pain, no matter how much you want to. All you can do is figure out what needs to be done now.”

“And I can’t even do that,” the larger man muttered after a bitter little laugh, before quickly sighing and shaking his head. “No, don’t worry, I’m not that goddamn self-pitying. I know what should be done, I just don’t know how to do it. And, more importantly, I don’t know that it’s even my place to do it. Zacky... doesn’t want me to tell the guys. He promised he just wanted to tell them himself, but I know he’s lying to me. He doesn’t want them to know; he wishes I didn’t know.”

“Can you blame him?”

Matt gave his head a tiny little shake. “I understand why-- well, I mean, I do and I don’t. I get why he doesn’t want anyone to know about it, and I really get that he wants to handle things himself, but... I just don’t want to see him get hurt any more than he already is-- emotionally or physically. As his alpha, I feel like I need to step in, tell the guys what is going on, and find a way to get rid of that bitch and her brothers before they get rid of him... but as his friend, I know that this is something that he needs to feel like he has control over. If he doesn’t have control over it, I don’t know that he’ll be able to function, let alone actively defend himself against an attack by Drake.”

Kat simply moved her arm up and down his back again as soothingly as possible, face tucked into his shoulder. She didn’t offer him an answer, but he didn’t expect her to have one, anyways. He wasn’t sure there was an answer.

“It’s his story, and it’s his decision,” the vocalist continued after a moment, needing to verbalize all of the thoughts that were bouncing around in his head in hopes of finding a solution. “He was the one that was tortured, not me, and I can’t possibly sit here and try to force him to share that story with anyone at all, even if I think it would be for the best. It’s not my decision, and it’s sure as hell not my right -- even as his alpha -- to tell him what to do like that. But, it’s not just about if I should bite my tongue anymore. He almost killed her. Zacky tried to kill Ava, and regardless of what I do or do not say, the guys aren’t going to let him get away with it... not if he doesn’t tell them and make them understand. I can’t just do nothing.”

“You don’t have to choose, you know.” He froze as she spoke, brow furrowing when his mate pulled back from him for a moment, just far enough for her to look up into his eyes. “Zacky’s choice is inevitable now that this happened, but I’m sure he knows that, too. You want to be his friend before being his alpha, but just because you’re being his friend first doesn’t mean you stop being his alpha, too... that you stop being their alpha, too. You can give him some time to realize that the only real choice he has is the when, and not the if.”

She made it sound as if he could pause time and stop the inevitable, himself. He couldn’t help but sigh. “It’s not like they’ll follow an order on this, though. If I tell Brian to back off or else, Matt, Jason, and Johnny will be right there with him to punch me in the face and go after Zack anyways.”

“That’s not what I meant,” she simply said, raising a hand to hold to his cheek. “How’d you deal with Brian and Zacky competing with each other and nearly tearing the whole house apart in the process?”

And then he understood, his expression lighting up for a moment in that classic ahah!-moment. “I won’t be able to keep them in their separate corners for long, though. Forget the fact that it’s going to be hell trying to get them to accept that they just need to wait to demand answers and hash everything out, but we’ve still got to worry about whatever the Rinaldis are planning. Separating Zacky from the rest of the pack isn’t safe, either, and definitely not for long.”

“He probably won’t need too much time, and we can always make sure one or both of us is with him at all times. And, if you want my honest opinion--”

“--which I always do--”

“--then, I think you’re still trying to come up with excuses so that you don’t have to face the fact that Ava isn’t who you thought she is. But you can’t hide in here forever, you know; you’re going to have to decide one way or the other, and then you’re going to have to face that truth.”

“You’re right,” he told her, “I am. She was family, though, Kat, and even though I know the truth, even though I’m sitting here now and accepting that it’s the truth, I don’t want to face it. She was a damn good liar, wasn’t she? We’ve always known she was manipulative as hell -- that kind of comes with the territory when you’re born into a family like hers -- but I honestly didn’t think she was that good of one. And I honestly don’t know that I’m good enough of one to actually manage to keep my mouth shut around her.”

Carefully, the woman in his lap shifted a bit, her muscles visibly tense as she moved, though she did a good job of remaining very calm and understanding. Matt had no doubt it took a lot of strength for her, too, to refrain from acting rashly or from letting her own anger take over, but she was managing it very well. But no matter how well she was able to keep herself calm, to keep her thoughts to herself, she would never be able to hide her disagreement from him. He could feel it.

“What?” he prodded carefully, eyes searching hers for a moment. “You don’t think that I should?”

For a second, the woman looked about to object, but the resolve in those green eyes of hers softened into nothing more than compassion. “I think,” she started softly, “that you are a wonderful man and the best friend that anyone could ever hope for, and I admire you so much for your loyalty and dedication to Zacky... but I don’t want to see you hurt, either. You want to give him a little bit of time to tell them himself -- I know that’s what you really want to do here -- but I’m worried that...”

“You’re worried I can’t handle that,” the vocalist finished for her.

“I think you can handle anything,” she contradicted, “and I think what you went through after losing your friend has proven that. But I don’t think you should have to handle everything, Matt. This isn’t just about Zacky anymore, and it’s not just him that has to live with this knowledge.”

“But it is just him that had to deal with the reality,” the man reminded, a sad smile playing across his lips as he reached forward and cupped the woman’s cheeks in his hands. “You’re right; I’m his friend and his alpha, and that means I have to do what’s best for him before I do what’s easiest for me. But you knew that, too.... You just want me to promise that I won’t just bottle everything up until I need to disappear for a few months,” he deduced, a little flicker of a smile playing across his lips despite the seriousness of the conversation. Hazel eyes softening a bit, he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers. “I promise,” he told her, “and I know that I can keep that promise, because no matter how crazy things get, I still have you. You’re my mate, Kitten, and the love of my life, and I promise you that I will vent to you if I need to, because I know that you’re always here for me. I promise,” he repeated, pecking her lips again, even as he shifted her off his lap and started to get to his feet, “but right now I need to be there for Zacky. I’ve got a few pack members to negotiate with, and a traitorous bitch I need to ‘make sure is alright’.”

The redhead simply smiled in response, pride evident in her gaze as she watched him make his way toward the door. “I’ll make something to eat and bring it to Zacky.”

The vocalist paused in the doorway, his lips twitching upwards even more as he glanced over his shoulder. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” he asked, his tone not even slightly accusatory as he simply shook his head. “Thank you, Kat.”

A simple raise of a palm dismissed the sentiment and ushered him away at the same time.

He couldn’t help but smile. “Do me a favor, and see if you can use your powers on Zee?”

“Already on it.”
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I'm so very sorry that I disappeared for so long; classes have been crazy busy and on top of it I decided that I was going to plan two trips right around midterms, because I am not smart. I know this chapter doesn't make up for the delay, but it was necessary and I do promise some of the coming chapters will be much more interesting.

Speaking of which, there are only a couple of chapters left, and then you'll all have an ending and won't have to be waiting weeks for me to update and fix a cliffhanger for you. ...although, you should all start thinking about whether you'd rather read a sequel, a prequel, or an entirely unrelated story. I'll ask for votes later, but just mull over the idea for a bit, yeah?

I still owe a great many people responses to their comments from the last chapter. I am completely aware of this and I promise that I have not forgotten, and I will get to them all very shortly. I figured you all might appreciate a chapter in the mean time, since I only had time to finish one or the other before running off to class again. I really want to thank all who commented on the last chapter, though: LeahVengeance, ScoutNikhol, Hello.Love0588, Bunny-on-Drugs, Ailurophile, Ravenhair24, CoolStory.Lynn, Heaven_syn_gates, abnurmel, Koschka, OMFGitsBeckiie, mforaker, H.L.A, Alesha., Total Nightmare, Liera_Fufu, Swaggtastic21Nerd, MoMo_92, and zackystheman4me.