Wait for Tomorrow

"I love you, Matt."

Leigh kissed him with as much force as she could possibly manage. Matt was shocked at her. Wasn't this the same girl who begged Matt to leave? Wasn't this the same girl who wouldn't let him back in her life? And then Matt did something he thought he would never do: He pushed her away.

"Leigh, what are you doing?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"Matt! Please, don't do this. Not now!" She pleaded with him, her eyes filled with foreign, forgotten wanting. "I'm not sure I can take this anymore. I always told myself that if you leave, it would all be better, but it doesn't. Matt, it doesn't get better! I'm dying inside and it's killing me. I need you, I want you. More than you could possibly imagine. I know that you probably think I'm just saying this, but I'm not. I mean every word. So please, stay with me. Don't question it. Just. . ." Leigh ended her sentence with a kiss.

And he didn't. All Matt knew was that she was hurting just as much as he was. The tables were finally turned in his favor, and he was going to keep it that way for as long as possible. He could feel Leigh's urgent need in her kisses and her actions mimicked that. She was soon straddling Matt's waist hastily removing his shirt.

Leigh trailed her hands over his chest, trying to remember every muscle, every tattoo, every inch of skin that covered his body within her reach. Matt moaned at her touch and ached to do the very same. Without warning, Matt spun around, trapping Leigh under him. His mouth began working it's way down her neck, savoring the way she tasted. A soft purring sound came from the back of Leigh's throat.

Matt didn't want to waste any time. He thought that at any moment, she would stop everything and shun him away, just like always. His hands found their way to the front of her blouse, ripping it open. Both moaned and Leigh arched her back, practically begging Matt to touch her. He kissed his way down her neck, to her chest, tasting her greedily. In the midst of Matt's attack, Leigh's hands were able to find their way to his belt, ripping it off with ease, throwing it across her room.

They quickly rid themselves of all of clothing, leaving them breathing heavily. Matt stared into Leigh's eyes, looking for any kind of hesitation from her. But her hazel-green pools were clear of any doubt. All traces of uncertainty erased from her system. Leigh pulled Matt's face to her, placing small kisses along his jaw until she reached his ear, whispering ever so lightly.

"I love you, Matthew Sanders." Her voice was thick with lust and want. "And I'm not letting go."

The rhythm of their bodies and the tempo of their breathing soon matched as they moved in unison. Every emotion, every memory that was hidden away was suddenly playing through their minds. It all hit so hard, and so fast. Stars burst in front of her eyes, Matt moaned throatily and everything slowed.

The sound of heavy breathing and the scent of sweat blanketed the air. Matt's arm curled around Leigh's waist, turning her to face him. His hand caressed and stroked her cheek softly. His lips were soft and sweet, but they were cautious. When he pulled away, Leigh looked into his eyes. The emotion that showed was heart-wrenching, and Leigh knew that she couldn't let him leave again.

The tears leaked out of the side of her eyes, falling unceremoniously on the bed; Matt looked confused and then his expression was blank. He was almost sure that Leigh was about to say something that just might break his heart, just like the other times. Gently he wiped her tears, singing her to sleep, holding her close.

"Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make. And that feeling of doubt, it's erased. I'll never feel alone again with you by my side. You're the one, and in you I confide. . ."

The bright sunlight shone through the cracked curtains, waking Leigh from her peaceful slumber. Out of habit, she curled her arm to pull Matt closer, but only felt the blanket. Her heart beat faster and that feeling of dread spread through her veins. She curled into a ball, drawing her knees up to her chest. He left. He left. She repeated it through her head over and over. She could already feel herself building those defenses, for the third time, and it hurt. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around her; Leigh let out a cry of surprise and all but jumped into Matt.

Shocked, Matt held her tight against his chest. He had only gone to get a cup of coffee, he wasn't expecting her to wake up. When Leigh seemed to calm down, she looked him in the eye. Her eyes betrayed the heartbreak she'd felt when she thought he left. A small smile appeared on her face, as if he was missing something.

"All hail the heart breaker." She whispered, laughing at her joke. Leigh sobered quickly, staring accusingly at Matt. "You scared me. I thought you left."

"I'm sorry. I thought you were still sleeping. I was only getting coffee." he said, holding up his coffee cup. "I'm not going anywhere. Unless you want me to leave, I'm staying right here."

[][][]

Later that day

"What made you change your mind?" Matt asked Leigh as they walked down the beach.

"I'm not sure. I guess I was tired of trying to convince myself that I didn't actually love you. That I was just kidding myself. I realized that whenever you left, I would get weaker, and practically curl in a ball. And I didn't want to live like that anymore." Leigh looked at Matt and smiled. "I honestly don't know how I was able to keep myself together the last four years. The first four were easy: I just kept telling myself I hated you for what you did, and I never thought anymore of it. But when you came back, Everything I worked to build just crumbled, and I couldn't repair it completely." There was a slight pause before Leigh spoke again. "Tell me, why didn't you give up? I mean, I wouldn't let you in, and for eight years you were still there. It didn't make any sense to me. If you were any normal guy, you would have just dropped me and moved on."

Matt smiled. "There's catch number one: I'm not a normal guy. And number two: I wasn't ready to give you up. I wanted to make you realize that I'm not like other guys, that I do care for you and I want you to be happy. If I had truly believed you didn't still want me, I wouldn't have come back. And you can ask the guys, too. They were getting fed up with my moping around." He smiled down at her. "If there was one thing I learned out of this whole thing, it's that I learned to cherish those you love most. And you are at the very top of that list."

Leigh giggled. "You sound like a big baby. But it's sweet."

They continued in silence, letting their words sink in. The sound of the waves crashing and the birds squawking was all that could be heard. Matt pulled Leigh into his chest, kissing the top of her head. Leigh smiled and wrapped her arms around his body, not willing to let go.

"Hey, let's go out tonight," said Matt, stopping to sit on a bench. "We should go out, have an extremely fancy dinner, come home and chill. We'll do whatever you want."

"I don't want anything fancy. I don't want to make a big production out this either." Leigh looked out at the ocean, drawing her knees under her. An idea popped into her head. "I don't want to do anything." Matt gave her a look and she smiled. "Nothing. I don't want to do anything."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. We'll just stay right here on the beach. No money, no dressing up. Just plain and simple."

For once, Matt was satisfied with her simplicity. If she wanted to lay out on the beach, he was going to let her. "Whatever you want."