The Artists Secret

Robbie's been acting really weird lately. Not a particularly bad kind of weird, you know? Like, when your dad starts bringing home flowers for your mom for no reason kind of weird. It's a welcome change but you can't help but wonder what happened to spark the change or how long it's gonna last. 

Robbie's been getting more and more affectionate. It's a change but like I said, a welcome one. I mean, usually he forces me to watch all of the romantic comedy's that come on Hallmark and ABC family around this time of year, and he starts making heart shaped foods to 'get in the spirit' and stuff like that. This year he hasn't done any of that stuff and I kind of miss it. 

But I can't complain because in place of all of that he's taken to cuddling on the couch and hugging me from behind when I'm cooking us dinner and calling me in the middle of the day just to say hi. I'm falling more and more in love with him and god, I swear it's killing me not to tell him. But I have a plan and I can't screw that up.

The painting I did for him is finished and I've only looked at it once since. I know that if I keep staring at it I'll begin to see little flaws and things I could have done differently and then I won't want to give I to him and I have to give it to him. I have to. My sanity depends on it.

Last night Robbie crawled into my bed at three in the morning and cuddled into my side, blaming a bad dream for his appearance. I'm not complaining or anything but at that moment there was nothing I wanted to do more than to kiss it all better. I didn't, of course. I couldn't. Not until I told him. 

Waking up the next morning I open my eyes and see him still sleeping next to me, my arms around him firmly as if protecting him from any more nightmares. I had never noticed before because of his glasses, but his eyelashes are really long. They rest on his cheeks when he's sleeping. It's so fucking adorable. 

I don't know how much time passes before he stirs but soon he's turning in my arms and blinking his eyes open. They widen when he notices me but a blush quickly covers his cheeks and he cuddles his face into my neck. 

"I'm sorry about last night." He mumbles. "I know I'm a grown man but it just freaked me out."

"Hey, it's okay. Anytime, alright? I mean it." I soothe, laughing a bit.

"Really?" He wonders aloud.

"Absolutely." I grin. "You know what today is, don't you?" 

"Thursday?"

"Well, yeah, but no. It's Valentines day! Go make breakfast or whatever because we're out of here in an hour to deliver these cards." 

A look of pure disappointment settles on his face and I frown. "Hey, what's wrong?" 

"It's just that you usually give me my card first. Like, before we even say good morning you're handing it to me." He sighs.

"Oh." I say dumbly. Is he really that bummed out about it? Could this possibly mean what I think and hope it does? "Well, you did kind of sleep in my bed last night. It might have been a little awkward if I hadn't said anything when you woke up. Plus, I didn't make you a card so there." 

"Y-you didn't?" He asks, hurt clear in both his words and his face. I swear I see tears welling up in his eyes and god, I just want to tell him right this second. But I can't! I have it planned out perfectly. It has to be perfect.

"No, I didn't. But don't worry, I didn't forget you. How could you possibly think that? I've got another surprise for you and it's better than a card, in my opinion."

At this his curiosity is peaked. "Really? What?"

"It's a surprise that you'll get later now come on. We're leaving at eleven on the dot." I grin, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My body rejects the cold and screams at me to jump back into the cocoon of warmness that surrounded me and Robbie. I push those feelings aside and claim the bathroom first to get showered and whatnot.

When I get into the kitchen, smells of coffee and bacon invade my senses. I grab my favorite mug, the one with my name on it with little Mickey Mouse ears all over it that Robbie got me on his family's trip to Disney World last year. It's horribly tacky and we laugh about it all the time but I absolutely love it. 

I make my coffee and take a satisfying sip before grabbing Robbie's favorite mug and making his the way he likes it. Three spoons of sugar and three tablespoons of French vanilla creamer. I walk over to the stove and hand him his coffee with a grin. He grins up at me and leans up to peck a kiss to my cheek. 

"So what's for breakfast?" I ask. 

"Heart shaped pancakes and heart healthy bacon." He giggles. I roll my eyes and shoo him away.

"Go take a shower, I'll finish this." 

"But Blake, you always mess up the hearts." He protests. 

"Correction, I used to mess up the hearts. I'm officially an art major now. If I can't shape pancake batter into hearts then I'm in serious trouble." 

He hesitates a while longer but eventually goes to take his shower. To his credit, he was right to worry about the pancakes. The first three I do turn into lumpy messes but I get the hang of it after that. I throw the other three down the garbage disposal to get rid of evidence. 

Robbie's still not dressed when everything's ready, so I set the table and pour the strawberry-orange juice he makes every year. Just as I'm finishing, he walks into the kitchen. He's got on a pair of white jeans and a red and pink sweater vest over a black polo. It's horribly adorable. I just want to attack him with kisses but I pull his chair out for him instead.

We eat and laugh and joke like we always do. Two best friends just having breakfast. Hopefully tomorrow morning will be different.

We finish somewhat quickly and wash the dishes together before I grab my stack of Valentines Day cards and we head out. The first stop is Kia. Her card has bits of half eaten sushi depicted in water colors. Some of them form little hearts and some are painted red and pink. She absolutely adores it.

Next we go to the library to deliver a card with piles of books on it to a friend of a friend. Then we go to the nursing department to give a friend a card with anatomically correct hearts drawn with care. Then to the coffee shop to give the barista, a friend of Robbie's, one painted using only coffee. 

The afternoon goes on the same way, passing out cards and receiving heart filled thanks in return. This is why it's my favorite time of year. Making people feel happy and thought about is one of the most fulfilling feelings I've ever experienced. 

We don't finish until somewhere around six. Robbie suggests that we pick up dinner at a local diner and I fight him for the bill, a fight that I win. He's a little upset about this but he gets over it when we get home, anger replaced by excitement.

"Can I have my present now?" He asks eagerly.

I roll my eyes but my heart's hammering a mile a minute. "Uh, yeah. Do me a favor and go to your room? It'll take me two minutes to set up."

He pouts but does as asked. I set up an easel in the living room and place the painting on it with care before grabbing a sheet to cover it. Once that task is done, I call Robbie out tentatively. 

"If you don't like it I'll understand." I say softly. "But I want you to know that it came from the heart."

He looks at me for a second before approaching the easel slowly. He tugs at the sheet and let's it fall to the ground, revealing the painting fully. Robbie takes a couple minutes to examine it, causing me to be on the verge of a panic attack. I might actually pass out if he doesn't say something soon.