Status: In progress. Updates when I get the chance.
Cross My Heart
Kidnapped by an Angel
I lay awake the next night. Too many thoughts buzzing through my head. The most prominent of which – Why was Lisa still in the hospital.
I hadn’t visited her in over two weeks. Adam wouldn’t let me. He said that I couldn’t. Just couldn’t. I had figured out by now that there was something more wrong with her than just being clipped by a car. This was serious.
Secondly, what was Josh planning and was it going to result in injury as often things did with Josh’s surprises.
It was around 1:30 AM that I heard a knock on my window. I rolled over to see Josh poking his head through.
“Hey there.” He said cheerfully, not suiting to the early morning sky framing his face.
“Josh what the hell are you doing?” I asked him. Though I had been awake I didn’t want to leave my warm blankets.
“Kidnapping you for your surprise. Now get out of bed and come over here.” He said, holding his hand out as an offering to help me out the window.
I sighed and slowly climbed from my tiny twin bed. My Beatles duvet lay on the floor beside it, John Lennon smiling up to me from the floor.
“I bet Yoko never woke you up at 1:30 AM, eh John?” I spoke to it.
“I bet she did now move your booty I’m impatient.” Josh whined from the window.
“Do I need to get changed?” I asked, gesturing to my Snoopy PJ pants and ratty Pearl Jam t-shirt.
“Nope.” Josh replied confidently.
I sighed once more and looked back down at the quilted replica of John Lennon’s beautiful face.
“Wish my luck, Johnny. I’m going in…out.”
“You are speaking to a dead music icon.” Josh informed me as he tugged me through my basement window.
“Yes, and?”
“Nothing…” Josh said, knowing how protective I was over my sanity, which even I knew didn’t exist.
“That’s what I thought.” I followed Josh through my yard and into his, down his drive way and to his new-old car. A beat up 1983 Oldsmobile. The thing looked more like a 90 year old woman should be driving it, yet like it had been through both world war one and two.
I called it Fred.
We drove for over and hour with not a word spoken between us. Just as I was beginning to fall asleep Josh clicked on the dinosaur stereo. As Armatage Sharks started blasting I opened one eye to glare at him.
“Stranded
Lost inside my self
My own worse friend
My own closet enemy
I’m branded
Maladjusted
Never trusted anyone
Let alone myself…” Josh sang along to the music, way to cheerful for 2:30 in the morning.
I sighed and sat up straight. “So I take it this isn’t a simple drive?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m stealing you for the whole day, maybe more. It’s a three hour drive. The 1:30 thing is just so the sun doesn’t reveille our location.”
“Great, so I can’t call for help either!?”
“There she is!” Josh laughed and punched my shoulder with his free hand. He always seemed determined to “be cool” and only steer with one hand.
I rolled my eyes. “Where did I find you?” I asked sarcastically.
“Oh you love me.” Josh joked, grabbing my hand in his.
“Yeah, unfortunately.” I laughed.
“You know, sooner or later all this insult based humor is actually going to find its way to my heart.”
“No matter how black a shriveled it is?”
“Exactly my point.” Despite the comment, Josh laughed.
I snuggled back into the seat, still holding Josh’s hand. The more morbid side of my mind imagined what it would be like if I could simply detach his arm and keep it with me…sorta like a fucked up stuffed animal.
Instead I just laughed to myself and closed my eyes, letting the hum of the car and the lyrics of Brat lull me into a wonky half conciseness.
I tried to forget the problems in my life at that moment. Josh disappearing regularly now, Lisa in the hospital, Adam’s drinking. If the last to got worse…well, I was out. In the eyes of the adoption people things, I wasn’t related to them, if they couldn’t treat me like a princess they couldn’t have me.
In my secret world right now, it was me and Josh driving off to some undisclosed location. I had no idea what was going to come next, and I liked it. I knew nothing bad would happen, no matter the circumstance.
“Josh?” I spoke to him, without bothering to open my eyes.
“Yeah?” He answered.
“I love you.” I whispered, feeling like it was the last thing I might have.
“I love you to, Phoenix. I always will.” Josh squeezed my hand for reassurance; I knew he could hear in my voice how close I was coming to breaking down.
*
“Give me my chance to be a cheesy romantic.” Josh said to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the car. He had wrapped a tie around my eyes so I couldn’t see.
“I feel like I’m in great physical danger.” I said, shifting my weight to my left leg. Josh had disappeared to ‘retrieve things’ so I was left standing blind god knows where.
“This way, Miss Negative.” I felt Josh’s hand on my back leading me deeper into whatever this was I couldn’t see.
We walked for quite a while, until Josh suddenly jumped away from me and told me I could remove my irritating blind fold.
I slowly pulled the neon green tie from my eyes to find myself in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere.
“Damn, you are cheesy.” I said, looking around. It seemed to be a clearing in the middle of the woods. It was about as big as the standard Olympic soccer field and un kept. Grass and wild flowers grew everywhere, some grass reaching above my head.
“Why thank you.” Josh took a comical bow.
*
We wasted that whole day away, just laying the grass, watching the sun come up and talking. About nothing really, life, Queen, why you eat the red Smarties last.
I was nice. Nice to get away from everything that had been bothering me lately. Do you ever build up all the small things in your head to make one problem that adds up to nothing?
Of course Green Day lyrics flashed through my head. But it was true. Though some may say the closest thing I had to a mom stuck in the hospital wasn’t a small problem, compared to some things I’d been through it was shadowed. And I would honestly like to know what Josh had been up to lately, and I wished Adam would stop drinking and getting high.
“Well, Phoenix, this concludes our escape.” Josh abruptly stood up; standing over me he leaned down and offered his hand to me.
I took it and he helped me up.
The drive home was uneventful. I fell asleep quickly when F.O.D started playing from the stereo. The beginning tricking me into a deep sleep. When the end began playing, I was to asleep to notice.
I hadn’t visited her in over two weeks. Adam wouldn’t let me. He said that I couldn’t. Just couldn’t. I had figured out by now that there was something more wrong with her than just being clipped by a car. This was serious.
Secondly, what was Josh planning and was it going to result in injury as often things did with Josh’s surprises.
It was around 1:30 AM that I heard a knock on my window. I rolled over to see Josh poking his head through.
“Hey there.” He said cheerfully, not suiting to the early morning sky framing his face.
“Josh what the hell are you doing?” I asked him. Though I had been awake I didn’t want to leave my warm blankets.
“Kidnapping you for your surprise. Now get out of bed and come over here.” He said, holding his hand out as an offering to help me out the window.
I sighed and slowly climbed from my tiny twin bed. My Beatles duvet lay on the floor beside it, John Lennon smiling up to me from the floor.
“I bet Yoko never woke you up at 1:30 AM, eh John?” I spoke to it.
“I bet she did now move your booty I’m impatient.” Josh whined from the window.
“Do I need to get changed?” I asked, gesturing to my Snoopy PJ pants and ratty Pearl Jam t-shirt.
“Nope.” Josh replied confidently.
I sighed once more and looked back down at the quilted replica of John Lennon’s beautiful face.
“Wish my luck, Johnny. I’m going in…out.”
“You are speaking to a dead music icon.” Josh informed me as he tugged me through my basement window.
“Yes, and?”
“Nothing…” Josh said, knowing how protective I was over my sanity, which even I knew didn’t exist.
“That’s what I thought.” I followed Josh through my yard and into his, down his drive way and to his new-old car. A beat up 1983 Oldsmobile. The thing looked more like a 90 year old woman should be driving it, yet like it had been through both world war one and two.
I called it Fred.
We drove for over and hour with not a word spoken between us. Just as I was beginning to fall asleep Josh clicked on the dinosaur stereo. As Armatage Sharks started blasting I opened one eye to glare at him.
“Stranded
Lost inside my self
My own worse friend
My own closet enemy
I’m branded
Maladjusted
Never trusted anyone
Let alone myself…” Josh sang along to the music, way to cheerful for 2:30 in the morning.
I sighed and sat up straight. “So I take it this isn’t a simple drive?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m stealing you for the whole day, maybe more. It’s a three hour drive. The 1:30 thing is just so the sun doesn’t reveille our location.”
“Great, so I can’t call for help either!?”
“There she is!” Josh laughed and punched my shoulder with his free hand. He always seemed determined to “be cool” and only steer with one hand.
I rolled my eyes. “Where did I find you?” I asked sarcastically.
“Oh you love me.” Josh joked, grabbing my hand in his.
“Yeah, unfortunately.” I laughed.
“You know, sooner or later all this insult based humor is actually going to find its way to my heart.”
“No matter how black a shriveled it is?”
“Exactly my point.” Despite the comment, Josh laughed.
I snuggled back into the seat, still holding Josh’s hand. The more morbid side of my mind imagined what it would be like if I could simply detach his arm and keep it with me…sorta like a fucked up stuffed animal.
Instead I just laughed to myself and closed my eyes, letting the hum of the car and the lyrics of Brat lull me into a wonky half conciseness.
I tried to forget the problems in my life at that moment. Josh disappearing regularly now, Lisa in the hospital, Adam’s drinking. If the last to got worse…well, I was out. In the eyes of the adoption people things, I wasn’t related to them, if they couldn’t treat me like a princess they couldn’t have me.
In my secret world right now, it was me and Josh driving off to some undisclosed location. I had no idea what was going to come next, and I liked it. I knew nothing bad would happen, no matter the circumstance.
“Josh?” I spoke to him, without bothering to open my eyes.
“Yeah?” He answered.
“I love you.” I whispered, feeling like it was the last thing I might have.
“I love you to, Phoenix. I always will.” Josh squeezed my hand for reassurance; I knew he could hear in my voice how close I was coming to breaking down.
*
“Give me my chance to be a cheesy romantic.” Josh said to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the car. He had wrapped a tie around my eyes so I couldn’t see.
“I feel like I’m in great physical danger.” I said, shifting my weight to my left leg. Josh had disappeared to ‘retrieve things’ so I was left standing blind god knows where.
“This way, Miss Negative.” I felt Josh’s hand on my back leading me deeper into whatever this was I couldn’t see.
We walked for quite a while, until Josh suddenly jumped away from me and told me I could remove my irritating blind fold.
I slowly pulled the neon green tie from my eyes to find myself in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere.
“Damn, you are cheesy.” I said, looking around. It seemed to be a clearing in the middle of the woods. It was about as big as the standard Olympic soccer field and un kept. Grass and wild flowers grew everywhere, some grass reaching above my head.
“Why thank you.” Josh took a comical bow.
*
We wasted that whole day away, just laying the grass, watching the sun come up and talking. About nothing really, life, Queen, why you eat the red Smarties last.
I was nice. Nice to get away from everything that had been bothering me lately. Do you ever build up all the small things in your head to make one problem that adds up to nothing?
Of course Green Day lyrics flashed through my head. But it was true. Though some may say the closest thing I had to a mom stuck in the hospital wasn’t a small problem, compared to some things I’d been through it was shadowed. And I would honestly like to know what Josh had been up to lately, and I wished Adam would stop drinking and getting high.
“Well, Phoenix, this concludes our escape.” Josh abruptly stood up; standing over me he leaned down and offered his hand to me.
I took it and he helped me up.
The drive home was uneventful. I fell asleep quickly when F.O.D started playing from the stereo. The beginning tricking me into a deep sleep. When the end began playing, I was to asleep to notice.