Cross My Heart

I stayed with the guys for a bit longer, but honestly, I felt like a waste of space. All four of them were working they’re ass’s off (especially Josh. He looked like he needed five of him) and I wasn’t doing shit.
Several times Mike managed to trip over my foot sticking out to far, making me feel even worse. I was reduced to sitting in the couch with my knees pulled up, watching.
I was bored. I was a waste of air. And I had an idea.
I waited until Josh left the room. I followed after him quickly. Matt couldn’t hear any piece of my plan, I’d be fucked.
“Hey Josh?” I asked. He knelt in front of the fridge in the small kitchen here at his studio. I walked over and wrapped my arms around his neck, taking advantage of his shortened state.
“Yes?” He asked, tilting his head so he could look up at me.
“The store we ran into Shaun at yesterday…it’s not far from here is it?” I was planning on going and seeing if she was there again today. Talking things out with her. Getting my best friend back.
“Yeah it’s just around the corner actually…why?” He stood and turned to face me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I just want to talk to her…plus I feel like a waste of oxygen here.” I smiled innocently at him. “So…I’ll just go see her…” I ducked out from Josh’s arms and began walking from the room. I dreaded what was coming next.
“Phoenix, here.” Dammit. I turned to see Josh holding a 20 dollar bill out to me. “We’re probably gonna order lunch soon, don’t want you to go hungry.” I was seriously getting sick of spending Josh’s money. I needed a job of my own once I was a little better. “Just promise you won’t spend it on…you know…”
“Josh, what the fuck could a get with a 20?” I laughed.
“A couple grams of weed that’s what.” Mike walked into the room, breaking the tension. Josh shot him an evil look. Holding his hands up, he backed away defensively. “Whoa man, only a joke.”
“Too soon.” Josh said sharply. The tension filled the air for about three seconds before I burst out laughing.
“It’s a joke Josh.” I laughed at him. “Don’t be like that.” I poked him in the stomach.
Mike soon joined my laughter; Josh held his sour look and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like my girlfriend taking Mike’s side.” He said out loud, jutting his lower lip out.
I laughed and kissed him. “I’ll be back before dark, okay dad?” I joked.
“More like warden.” Mike joined the fun again; Josh shot him another look which made me laugh harder.
“Okay, getting out of here before I break my laugh box.” I attempted to leave again. This time Josh caught me by the back elastic of the PJs I wore.
“Take a jacket.” He ordered. This time Mike really got a laugh. He literally fell to the ground.
“Good dammit Josh, you’re not my dad.” I told him stepping forward so his finger slipped off my waist band.
“Please? It’s raining.” Josh stripped off his hideously pink jacket. It looked to be made of some sort of waterproof fabric. Thus, the only reason I accepted it.
“I hate you.” I grumbled to him as I slipped on the jacket.
“And in case you get lost.” He handed me his blackberry. “All the guy’s numbers are in it if you need to get a hold of me.” Josh gave his best apologetic smile.
“Jesus man, I’m not 5.” I took the phone and put it in the pocket of the jacket.
“I’m just worried about you, okay? Is that allowed?” Josh kissed my forehead. “Now you are free to leave.” Mike was still laughing on the floor.
When I was finally out of the studio I hustled down the street, trying to avoid as much rain as possible as I made my way towards the familiar little clothing store.
When I got there, all the lights were on, but the sign on the door said closed.
Trying my luck, I cupped my hand over my eyes to peer inside the glass door. I could see Shaun sitting near the counter with another woman about the same age. I knocked softly.
Both looked up quickly and Shaun’s eyes narrowed. I gave a little nod and the sweetest smile I could master. Shaun scowled back at me, but this other girl might just save the day. She turned to Shaun and spoke a few words.
Whatever she said, I owed her. Shaun stood and made her way to the door. “What?” She hissed as she opened the door. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Shaun, I’m here to say I’m sorry for yesterday. I just want to be friends again.”
“I don’t want any reminders of my stupid high school experience.” Shaun was about to close the door when I caught it.
“Please Shaun? I can guarantee my high school experience sucked as much as yours did. I just want my old friends back.”
“Shaun! Let her in!” The other woman yelled at Shaun. “She’s getting all wet.”
“Fine.” Shaun finally gave in. “Welcome to my store, Phoenix. Don’t fuck anything up.”
“Oh and what makes you think sweet, innocent little me will fuck things up?” I said in a sweet tone. I was pleased when Shaun cracked a smile.
“Phoenix, this is Enid. Enid, Phoenix.” Shaun introduced me to the girl that was sitting with her. Enid had long dark brown hair, grey-green eyes, and her septum pierced.
“Hey.” She said and held her hand out to me, which I shook with a smile on my face. I tried to hide the fact that I really wished she wasn’t here so I could talk to Shaun in private.
“Nice to meet you.” She smiled right back at me. “So Shaun…uh…how’s life been?” I tried to strike up an awkward conversation.
“Okay. I own this little place. Pays the bills.” Shaun looked around, admiring her shop.
“You know what?” Enid stood up. “I’ll leave you two to catch up. I’ll pick Tristan up to relieve Val and go bug Mike. See you Shaun, nice to meet you, Phoenix.” Enid left the store without another word. Mike…maybe she meant Mike Ayley? No, Mike was a common name. The chances of that weren’t high. And I figured Valerie was babysitting this Tristan, who I assumed was her son or something.
“So what do you do for work?” Shaun asked.
“Uh…I’m unemployed right now…going through a kind of tough time. I’m living with Josh for another month or two but I wanna get out and maybe pursue music to.”
“What situation could be tighter than caring for a child when you still feel like one?” I’m sure Shaun was trying to make me feel bad. Trying to prove she was tougher. She sat on a stood with her back straight and her hands on her hips.
“Um…I’m sort of in Josh’s idea of a make shift rehab without the sent-away-for-months crap…” I scratched the back of my neck like I always did when I was nervous.
Shaun stared at me for a second, unraveling what I had just told her. “You’re a druggie?” She looked at me disbelievingly. “Little Phoenix, is a druggie?”
“Recovering.” I corrected her. “I didn’t get out of this city before Josh’s drug thing hit. He got me pretty hooked…he wants to fix me now. So I’m staying with him.” I shrugged. I didn’t really want to talk about this right now.
“And wear his clothes?” She laughed, looking at what I was wearing.
“Okay, my PJs.” I pointed out. “It’s just his ridiculous jacket that I think should be killed in a fire.” I laughed with her.
“So you guys are living together, your borrowing his jacket…yet there is nothing romantic left there?” She was trying to clear up last night, but that had changed.
“Well uh…I guess we’re back together now…last night when we ran into you there wasn’t anything…that changed.”
“Got a little carried away did we?” Shaun raised an eye brow at me, I rolled my eyes.
“No.” I laughed. “I’ve actually only slept with Josh…once. Back in high school. I left about a week later. Bastard has my V card.” I laughed and Shaun joined me to. I was happy to have my best friend back, or on her way back.
“Well little missy.” She poked my shoulder. “You need to change that.” She winked at me.
“What and end up with a kid!?” I said it as a joke, and Shaun understood my humour. We were laughing together just like back in high school. Back before things got complicated.
Back where I wished I was.