Forgive Me

Ollie’s POV :

She exited the bus, crying. She felt …well she had no word to explain it. She just knew one thing: she should have listened to her instinct and not trust that guy, who doesn’t care about her.
It was hard to realize that all the things he did or said yesterday weren’t true. He lied, all the time.
Ollie was mad at herself for being so stupid at times. It was obvious that he couldn’t be true to her. He was a famous rocker, and well, she was…she was a stupid nerd who loved philosophy. She was a 25 years old girl who was traumatized by love, traumatized by her family.
But now, it was over: never again she will trust a stranger. Never again she will let someone break her heart. She had to protect herself. She had to be more prudent.

******years ago********

Ollie was born in Scotland. Her mother Valary and her father Edward got married one year after her birth. At this time, Ollie was too young to remember those years. She was too young to remember when her parents started to fight. She was too young to remember her mother crying in the stairs, her wrist bruised, and the cuts on her face. She was too young to remember her father drunk, yelling obscenities. She was too young to remember her mother leaving the house in the night, holding her daughter close to her chest, trying not to make noise.
In fact, the first thing she can remember is Joan moving in her mother’s new place when she was about 4 years old. Same scenario, Joan was the kindest guy on the face on the Earth. At the beginning, at least.
But Valary got pregnant, and Joan got very enthusiastic about that. It was from then that his attitude toward Ollie changed and it went worse when she got older, especially when she went 14. At this point, things started to be horrible for the young Ollie.
That guy was an asshole with her. He was the kindest guy with Valary and Maddy, but he still doesn’t get along with Ollie. But Ollie’s mother didn’t seem to notice this. Anyway, he used to spend his time yelling at Ollie for stupid and pointless reasons, and Ollie couldn’t stand it anymore. Joan always said that she was stupid, or called her a bitch. He always found a way to make her feel bad. Ollie started to ask herself if Joan was true, if she was a stupid and useless girl who couldn’t do anything of her life. Well, she understood that Joan was doing this on purpose, because she wasn’t his daughter. Maybe he was jealous that Valary had been once married before to marry him… In fact, Ollie didn’t have a real explanation for all of this. She was a shy girl, and had no real friends. But she really got along with her half-sister, even if she promised herself not to tell her what was going on with Joan.
The bastard annoyed her, yelled at her only when both Valary and Maddy weren’t at the house, plus he threatened Ollie: he made her promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone that he was yelling, or…well, he said horrible things. In those moments, Ollie felt really alone. She didn’t want to tell her mother, and her sister, first because of Joan’s threats, but also because she didn’t want them to be sad, or mad, or whatever else. She only knew that she needed something or someone to make her feel better.
She tried to make friends at school. She met this girl, Nicah, and considered her almost instantly as her best friend….until Nicah moved to Japan to live with her aunt. Ollie was alone again, because she didn’t hear anymore about Nicah since this moment.
One month later, she came back from school and Joan was drunk. He was alone in the house, and he was…well very drunk. From the moment he saw her entering the house, he was more violent than usual. He pushed her against the walls, she slapped her several times, and then she started to run to her bedroom, trying to escape from him. He god even more mad at her and followed her. He pushed her on her bed and climbed on top of her. Ollie was terrified, because she knew what would happen. And she was true. She saw Joan unbuckle his belt, then taking his jeans and pants off. He undressed violently Ollie, until she was naked. She was sobbing hard and begging him to let her alone, telling she won’t tell anyone. Joan just laughed hard, you know, with a sadistic laugh. Well, no need to explain further what happened to the young Ollie, but when Joan left the room, she was bleeding and covered with bruises and cuts.
She didn’t tell anyone, and even as of today, no one knew about it.
One year later, Ollie met Chris at school. He was nice, cute and caring. He was the one not to look at her like she was a freak or a useless person. Ollie started to like him. A lot. He proposed her to go on a date. It was at the end of classes, he looked stressed and took almost 15 minutes just to ask her that. Ollie felt her heart melt, and obviously she said yes.
On Saturday, it was “Date time”. We’ll forget about the fact she had to almost fight with Joan to go on that date, but yeah, Saturday came and Ollie was excited about it.
They just walked in a park, hands in hands. She didn’t tell him about Joan and everything, but she told him about herself nonetheless. They had a great time. Chris proposed to walk her back home and she gratefully accepted. He kissed her, and they said goodbye, even if they’ll see each other on Monday.
Monday. It was one of the worst days for Ollie, because…well, it was her fault. She shouldn’t have hoped that things will work between her and Chris. She was a nerd and he was a baseball player. He was popular and she wasn’t. He was beautiful, and…she didn’t think she was.
She arrived at school on Monday and saw Chris and Silly-Victoria (as she called that bitch)…kissing.
She thought Chris would apologize and tell her that it wasn’t what it looked like, like in the movies. But he didn’t. Instead he just laughed and humiliated her, in front of everybody.
She was sad for months, but her heart healed, in surface at least.
It was now her last year of high-school and she had to choose what to study next year, at College.
Joan didn’t want her to go to College but instead to work. Valary convinced him that College would be a good thing for Ollie. But Joan started to be more in more violent with Ollie, in return.
Ollie was still a young girl in her head, so she was fragile. She was suffering inside of her.
But still, she had to choose something for College.
She decided on Philosophy, because it was her favorite subject in High-School. From that moment, she really got involved in her work, first because she loved it, and also because it was her only way to escape from her sad life. She never told her mother or her sister that Joan liked to yell at her and to hit her, a few times. Both of them would have a heart attack. So, she decided to put all her heart, and all her life in work, books, school, etc…
Joan was still violent with her, even if she was now 25 and hadn’t left her mother’s house. But she did it on purpose. Joan started to get more and more often drunk, and yelled at Valary a few times. Ollie decided to stay with her mother, just in case Joan started to be violent with her, or with Maddy.

Well, this was Ollie’s story.

*********back to the present************

Ollie was sat in the sand, her forehead resting on her knees. She was still sobbing, first because of Brian, but also because of the memories of her past.
Last night was the first time someone, who wasn’t her family, seemed to care about her, and she had to admit that she enjoyed that feeling. But all of this was just an illusion, since Brian felt just pity for her. Was she so pathetic? Probably, because all her classmates seemed to think that way. Ollie didn’t know what she wanted to do right now, but be here on the beach wasn’t too displeasing…
Brian’s POV:

Brian was still in the bus, sat on the sofa and looking at his feet. He still didn’t know what to do. First, he needed to know what he was really feeling for this Ollie girl.
Was she just a non-important girl that he didn’t want to see again? The answer to this question was no, since he had a quite good time yesterday. Plus, there was something about this girl that interested him. The girl was mysterious and totally different from the stereotype of the bitchy groupie. But it was a strange feeling to Brian to feel something like this for a girl. Before Elise’s death, he never cared about others girls. The only woman that counted in his life was Elise. But now that she was gone, Brian had difficulties to have interest for women again. He still thought it was a way of cheating. On the other side, Brian felt empty, like he lacked something. Yeah, he was alone in his bed at night, he had no one to hold tight against him, and he missed all those things. But was he ready do to that kind of thing with someone who wasn’t Elise?
Another element to add to his deliberation was that the band had to go back to California in a few hours. Maybe he wouldn’t see the girl again, he didn’t want to get too involved and to be hurt once again. But still, he hadn’t the right to make the girl suffer. And it was obvious that his words had hurt her. Now, he felt bad for what he said, and he wanted to fix it.
But where was Ollie now? He had no idea….Or maybe she was at the beach, just like yesterday when he said something wrong to her.
He wasn’t sure of this, but it was worth it to test it. In fact he had no better idea. He grabbed his sunglasses and started to make his way to the beach.

***********************************
He was right. Ollie was sat on the beach just like yesterday. She looked weak and hurt. He couldn’t see her face because her forehead was resting on her knees. He slowly approached her.

Normal POV

Ollie felt someone sitting by her side, just like yesterday. It was probably one of the guys who was worried about her.

“Hey…”, Brian started, unsure.

Ollie trembled. It was his voice. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to see him, or listening to his bullshits again.
She got up, and tried to go away, but Brian caught her wrist.

“Don’t touch me!”, she shouted.

Brian looked hurt. “Please, let me talk to you…”, he begged.

Ollie looked at his eyes. They were filled with worry and…sadness? She sighed heavily, and then looked at her feet, abandoning every tentative to run away.

“Fine”, she finally said.

A light smile appeared on Brian’s lips. “Well,…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you by saying this…”, he started.

“But you did.”, she replied coldly.

Brian nodded. “I know, and I felt bad about it. You didn’t deserve it. You’re a nice girl and…”
“Please Brian. I’m not an idiot. You told me the same kind of sweet things yesterday, and well, it seems like you didn’t mean it. I don’t want to hear the same things again because I know they’re not true. If it’s all you have to say, then just leave me alone, please.”, she cut him.

Brian realized he was still holding her wrist.
He squeezed her hand, causing her to tense. He looked at her, and he could swear she was afraid.

“I don’t know what I said those things this morning, and I sorry you heard that. You…you have to know that you’re the first woman with who I just…hang out since my wife’s death, and I felt guilty about that. I don’t know if you see what I mean. Anyway, I hope you can just forgive me for this and give me another chance to prove you that I’m not a bad guy and…”. He didn’t know what else to say, so he just paused, looking at her almost expectantly.

“And what if I don’t trust you, or believe you?”, she asked, seriously.

Brian looked really disappointed now. “Y-You have the right not to believe me. I should have known you wouldn’t, but I guess I deserve it… Goodbye Ollie, and sorry for all what I did to you”. He started to walk away.

He felt mad at himself, hurt, and sad. He didn’t want to leave the girl just like this. He didn’t want her to think he was a jerk. But he couldn’t do anything about that. He tried, at least…

“Brian!!”, Ollie finally shouted, causing Brian’s heart to jump.

He turned to see her, just where he had left her, a few feet away from where he was. He looked at her, and approached her again.

“Yes?”

The words seemed to leave Ollie’s mind as the brown-eyed man looked at her in the eyes.

“I…It’s okay…”, she said very hesitantly.

“What?”, Brian asked confused.

“I believe you. I don’t want you to leave just right now. Please stay with me right here for a bit…”, she begged.

Brian couldn’t help but smile like an idiot, and he hugged her tightly. She hugged him back as he rubbed her back lightly.

“Thank you”, he whispered.

She pulled away. In fact, the girl didn’t believe him totally, but she managed to convince herself that he deserved another chance. She wasn’t the one to judge someone by only one thing he or she did. Plus Brian sounded sincere, and the look in his eyes was so hopeful but still so full of regrets. She had to call him back, to tell him to stay.
In fact, she hoped that what he said earlier wasn’t true. She wanted to believe him, maybe for her own dignity. She didn’t want to remember that he said those things, because they hurt her. So, Brian was trying to be forgiven, and Ollie saw in this a chance to start again. She just hoped she had made the good decision and that he wouldn’t disappoint her once again. It was a risk to take.

She sat in the sand again, looking at the waves. Brian did the same. He looked at his watch. In two hours, he had to be in the bus, which would drive the band to the airport.
He had two hours to convince the girl that he was a good guy, and that he didn’t want to forget her. Maybe he actually cared about her…