Just The Way I'm Not

Phia tightened her grip on the armrest of her seat and took a deep breath. She had always hated flying and this time was no different. There was no logical explanation that she could think of as to why she hated it, only that every time she stepped foot in a plane and it was in the air she got tense and couldn’t wait to land. She felt like they had been in the air for the eight hours it would take before to get to England, but in reality it was only two hours since they had taken off.

She felt someone touch her arm and she looked to the seat next to her where Addie was sitting and her best friend gave her a small smile. “You need to calm down girlie. Just try and relax.”

“Easier said than done,” she mumbled in replied. Addie suggested that she try and sleep and Phia just shrugged and started to look through her phone. She technically couldn’t use it while they were in the air but some of her apps on her phone didn’t need internet so she could play some games to get her mind off of it.

After playing a few rounds of Angry Birds, she was able to get her mind off of flying and only getting nervous every now and then when the plane would hit turbulence and was feeling herself get sleepy. She put her phone back into her pocket and rest her head back letting her eyes close and drift off to sleep.

As she slept, she dreamt of a distant memory back when she was ten. Before everything happened and she was forced to move away. But the dream didn’t last and suddenly started to fade away as she became aware of someone shaking her. Giving a groan, she forced her eyes open even though she really didn’t want to wake up. That had been the first time in a long time that she had had a dream about him and hadn’t realized how much she had missed him.

“What?” She snapped at Addie as she turned to see her shaking her awake. She caught the slight hurt look in her face when she snapped and closed her eyes and took a breath to calm herself down before going back to her friend. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“It’s fine, but we’re about to land.” Addie replied adding a small smile to show her forgiveness.

Phia looked out the window and saw the ground coming closer. Wow, she had been sleeping that long? Well at least she was able to get her mind off the flight for the four hours she had been awake for the flight. But now, they were able to get back to the blessed ground and get touring. She had a feeling that this tour was going to be even more insane than she was expecting and was excited to see how it was going to turn out.

Twenty minutes later, they were on the ground heading toward their gate. It only took a few more minutes for the door open and they were walking down the ramp to the airport. Phia had turned her hearing aids back on as she followed the rest of her small group toward the baggage claim to get their things and find where their van was to pick them up.

I can’t believe we’re already here! Addie was signing as they walked down the hall amongst the crowd of people. The rest of their group was walking ahead of them and even with her hearing aids Phia couldn’t read their lips so Addie was translating and she figured that it was Kora saying that since she was the one jumping up and down while her Bram tried to calm her down.

Dear God, we need to get her to the hotel quick. The girl needs to get sleep before her head explodes. Bram replied back still trying to calm their tour manager down.

Why did we bring her on as our manager again? Zane asked as Phia laughed and touched his shoulder.

“I’ve been asking myself that ever since you first introduced us.” She told the younger twin and her started laughing too.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize offering her the job was going to turn out like this. She was sweet and innocent when I first met her!” Zane replied while facing her so she didn’t have to rely on Addie to translate.

I heard that! Addie signed and Phia rolled her eyes imagining the playful annoyed look on their tour managers face as she led them up to the proper baggage claim.

“Aw we still love you Kor,” Phi wrapped her arms around their tour managers shoulder and hugged her.

“Yeah yeah whatever!” She huffed.

The bags started coming and they all found their bags without any trouble for once and Kora instantly started calling people on her phone to find out where their driver was so they could be picked up. Their equipment and bags were all stacked next to them as they waited on the sidewalk outside the baggage claim and waited for the van.

When it finally showed up, Phia smiled as she saw the white van come and pull up in front of them with a trailer attached to the back. Things were finally becoming even more real as she helped the others pack everything in. Reality was finally settling in and she was beginning to get even more excited.

This was the tour that would either make or break them. They were finally going to tour with popular bands and they could introduce themselves to more people and hopefully help them get a little more popularity. Not that it was all that mattered but it certainly did help. They became a band because they all love music and happened to all work well together and have the same passion for loving and sharing their music to others.

It was a dream come true and no matter what happened on that tour, Phia was just excited to say that she was able to be a part of the tour and have fun with her friends. Whatever happened was going to happen and she was ok with that. No matter if it was a good outcome or a bad one. It was ok with her.

When they got everything packed, they climbed into the van and their driver made their way to the hotel. It was now past one in the morning and they only had about six hours to get some rest and prepare for the day ahead of them.

Kora shuffled them all inside and to the check in desk to get their key cards. Once they were all set, they all went to the elevators to go up to their rooms. Kora, Addie, and Phia went to their room while the twins went to theirs and Phia fell onto the bed closest to her and let her eyes close. She heard the faint noise of someone talking through her hearing aids and peeked her eyes opened and turned to look at Kora who was looking at her.

“Sorry what?”

Kora rolled her eyes as Addie laughed. “I was saying that tomorrows going to be insane. I can’t believe that this is actually happening.”

Phia just nodded at the same words she had just been thinking. It really was a dream come true and she was excited. She forced herself up to change and get ready for bed. She had only a few hours to sleep before their first day of the big tour started and she didn’t want to be crabby.

She took her hearing aids out and put them in her bag letting them get buried under the clothes since she didn’t plan on wearing them much anymore. She really only took them just in case and not really because she needed them.

Crawling into bed beside Addie, she settled down and let her eyes close and fall back asleep hoping that she would be able to have another dream about him again. She woke up to someone shaking her again and was really ready to punch someone. It felt like she had just fallen asleep but knew that it really wasn’t since she could see sunlight coming through the blinds of their hotel room.

“Good morning!” Addie said excitedly as the bed started to bounce up and down. Phia just groaned and rolled over wishing herself back to sleep but knowing that Addie was just going to annoy her more.

“C’mon, we have a big day ahead of us! It’s the big day!” Addie continued after she had bounced off the bed and crawled over Phia to face her once again so she could see what she was saying.

Phia groaned as she rolled onto her back and Addie followed her sitting on top of her. “Seriously Adds? It’s way too early to be screwing around. What time is it anyway?”

“A little past seven, we have to leave in a half hour to meet the boys in the lobby to grab food before we leave.”

Phia sighed and nodded as she closed her eyes and stretched. Addie was right, it was a big day and she had to get ready and not take forever so she wouldn’t get crap from the rest of her band for the rest of the day. She pushed Addie off of her and got up making her way to the bathroom. Kora was nowhere to be seen and Phia honestly didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

Their tour manager could be up to anything. Either actually doing her job and getting ready to leave, or off doing something stupid and taking advantage of the time she had waiting for the rest of them to be done. Throughout the time that she had worked with them and this had happened, they had caught her doing both so they honestly had to be quick and get ready so they could find her and make sure she wasn’t actually doing anything dumb.

Grabbing a quick shower, she pulled on a pair of black skinnies and a white shirt and black vest before straightening her hair and pinning it back so it didn’t get in her face. She would pull it back into a pony or a braid before they went on stage that night but for now she wasn’t going to mess with it more than she had to.

“Almost ready?” Addie asked when she walked back into the room. Her best friend had her bag already packed and was sitting on their unmade bed watching tv while she waited and Kora was still nowhere to be seen.

Phia just nodded as she put her things in her bag and checked the room to make sure she had everything. Checking the time she saw that they were just on time and once she had zipped her bag up and grabbed her backpack, they both headed out to the lobby to meet up with the others.

“There they are!” Zane said as they walked up to them. Thankfully Kora was with them along with Bram and so they knew that the girl wasn’t doing anything stupid.

“Ok, so we have about a half hour before we leave and there’s this little café down the way that we can grab some breakfast at.” Kora said as they all agreed and put their things in the van before heading out.

The café was small and homey and they grabbed some food and coffee to go before walking back to the van. Their driver, Dan, was already there waiting for them and when they all piled into the van and headed out to the venue.

They all chatted excitedly as they began to hit the city traffic. Everyone was talking about what the tour would be like and how much they were looking forward to meeting some of their favorite bands. After about fifteen minutes of trying to follow what everyone was saying, Phia finally gave up. She really didn’t care that she couldn’t keep up and that Addie was trying to help her understand and decided to take the time to keep to her own thoughts.

She grabbed her phone and started to page through the pictures she had on it. Most of them were of the band and random adventures they had been on, and others had been of her family and other friends that lived in D.C. As she continued to look through them she stopped and had to page back when she saw one that she hadn’t even remember that she had taken.

It had actually been a picture of a picture that had been taken years before. Ten years to be exact. Before she had moved away from Baltimore. Enlarging the picture, she focused on the face of the thirteen year old boy smiling mischievously in the picture next to her ten year old self. Her grandma had taken it only days before she had moved and they had been taking advantage of the beautiful spring weather and were playing outside.

His dark hair was in its usual messy smile and his dark eyes seemed to sparkle with mischief. She was surprised he had actually stood still long enough for the picture to be taken. The boy was notorious for being on the move constantly and had been scolded many times for it even. But it was a rare instance that he had actually listened, and one of the last pictures they had taken together.

She began to wonder what her life would have been like if she hadn’t moved away. Would they still be friends? Would they be more than that? Or would they have drifted apart when he got into high school since she was three years younger and he wanted to look cool to the other boys in high school?

Or what if even they had actually stayed in touch when she had moved away? True they had emailed whenever they could the first six months after she left. But after that they drifted apart with only the occasional emails every few weeks then turning into every few months. And then not long after that it had turned into only on special occasions and holidays, if that even.

Phia couldn’t help but notice how sad that was. At one point they had been so close that they had run to each other instead of their other friends or even parents if something happened. The countless sleepovers and walks around town just so they didn’t have to be at home. They had even snuck into each other’s houses on late summer nights because they couldn’t sleep or just because they could.

But then everything changed that year when she had turned ten. And not just because of the move. A lot had changed.

Phia was pulled from her thoughts when the van started to shudder and she could only imagine the noises it was making. She looked up from her phone to see smoke coming from the engine and the worried looks from her friends. The driver was shaking his head and saying something to himself and she could only imagine the words coming out of his mouth.

What’s going on? Phia signed to Addie as Dan pulled the van off to the side of the road. She looked around to see that they were out of the city now and on some poorly made road with nothing but fields around them.

I don’t know, Addie signed back as she turned her head to watch as Dan opened his door and climbed out of the van. But it doesn’t look good. It was making some really weird noises and Dan was swearing a lot.

Well whatever it is it better get fixed soon. We have to be at the venue in a few hours to get ready for the show. Hopefully he can figure out whatever is going on.

Addie took a deep breath and nodded, Yeah, but I have a feeling that this isn’t going to be good. Let’s just hope that I’m wrong.