You Still Have All My Heart

Jordan.

Alex had just stormed out of their apartment. She had just told him about the article that including her ‘kissing’ Kellin. She thought that she should tell him about it before he heard if from someone else.

Flashback

Jordan had just received Cassandra’s text informing her about the article. She decided to read through it just to see what it was saying about her. When she did read it she had to read it through twice to make sure that what she was reading was legit. Someone would actually do this. There were people in this world so desperate for a little fame that they would do this. She looked at who posted the article and it was someone with the name of Dani Baker. She knew that if she ever met this Dani Baker she would give her a piece of her mind, maybe a little of her fist if the girl pissed her off more. She thoughts then went to Alex. How would he take it? She knew that he would probably jump to conclusions and say that she was having a secret love affair with Kellin or that she was getting bored of him or even that she liked his tattoos better, which was not true. Sure, she liked Kellin’s tattoos but she liked Alex’s better. Maybe it was because she was so used to them and that she knew the reason behind every single tattoo on his body. She was also there for when most of them got permanently inked into his skin, hell, she even did one!

She got so wrapped up in her thoughts about what tattoos Alex had that she failed to notice him walk through the door with a big bag of food in hand. Now was her chance. She could do this.

Jordan decided that she would tell him after he put the food away. That would buy her at least a couple of minutes of thinking of what exactly to say to him. How should she start out? With a ‘we need to talk?’ no, that sounds like they were breaking up. She really didn’t want to send that message. She wanted to send the message of ‘it’s not as bad as it seems’. Suddenly, she knew of the perfect way to start their conversation.

Alex was done with putting the food away. He then sat on the couch which was where Jordan was sitting.

“So, did you miss me when I was gone?” Alex asked her while putting his arm around her.

“You were gone for half an hour,” she told him.

“That’s a long time! I thought that you would definitely miss a hot piece of ass, like myself, after ten minutes tops,” he smirked.

“Yeah, totally. When you walked out the door I was counting the minutes for your return,” Jordan told him while rolling her eyes.

“I knew it,” said with one of his always present smirks.

“So, what did you buy?” Jordan asked her boyfriend.

“Well, some beer, chips, chicken, water, pretzels, eggs, and a box of cookies,” he told her.

“Oh, well, that’s good,” she said awkwardly. The idea she had before suddenly flew out the window. She had no idea how to bring up the article. How could she tell him without flipping out?

“Yeah, so, what did you do while I was gone?” he asked her while looking into her eyes. Now was the prefect chance to tell him. She could just start talking about reading something on the internet and bam! Bring it up quickly and explain to him that it meant nothing to the both of them and that he didn’t need to worry.

“Oh, just reading a couple of things on the internet,” she told him vaguely. She knew that he’d get curious and ask her what.

“What?” he asked her. Perfect, she thought to herself.

“Just an article on one of those gossip websites,” she said. She knew he’d be interested now and want to know about whom she was reading.

“About who? Was it about the band? You? Cass?” he asked.

“It was about me,” she said.

“What about you?” he asked getting really interested. He needed to know. He was like a little kid. He wouldn’t stop annoying you until he had all of the details.

“Umm, well, you see, theyhadapictureofmekissingthisguy, which is totally fake by the way,” she mumbled the first part of the sentence so that he wouldn’t hear properly.

“Okay, all I got from that was ‘which was totally fake by the way’. So care to repeat?” he asked her. He was still holding onto her hand, but now, he was clutching it more than holding it. It kinda seemed like he almost knew what she was about to say.

“There was this-this picture of me ‘kissing’ a guy,” she said slower. She made the hand quotation marks when she said the word kissing.

“Wait, what? You were kissing someone? Someone other than me? And they got a picture of it?!” Alex started yelling towards the end. His face was slowly turning a little red. He quickly took his hand away from Jordan’s and balled it into a fist.

“Well, yeah, BUT I wasn’t really kissing him! It was just a plan that I came up with to make the fans stop bothering him!” Jordan told him when she saw that he was getting mad.

“YOU STARTED IT?! YOU CAME UP WITH IT?! WHAT?! I THOUGHT THAT YOU WHERE MY GIRLFRIEND! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING AROUND KISSING ANOTHER GUY?!” he screamed at her. The news had finally sunk in.

“No, look Alex. You got it all wrong. It was fake! We weren’t even kissing!” Jordan told him desperately.

“Let me see this fucking picture and I’ll be the judge or not to see if this was a fake kiss,” he growled at her. Jordan just sat there for a minute to see if he was serious. Why didn’t he trust her? She thought that they both trusted each other. She never acted this way when she found out that he kissed someone, let alone slept with them. He didn’t even freak out like this when she finally told him that she slept with John while he was on tour. So what made him freak out now? “SHOW ME THE GODDAM PHOTO!” he yelled at her, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Oh, sorry,” she scrambled off the couch to get her computer. It was still on the page of the article and she just handed the computer to Alex. She saw him look at it for a couple of minutes, reading the article. He looked like he calmed down a bit. Then, all of a sudden her compute went flying over the coffee table in front of them.

“A FAKE FUCKING KISS YOU SAY? THAT DIDN'T LOOK FAKE. IT LOOKED REAL AND IT LOOKED LIKE YOU BOTH WERE ENJOYING IT! IF I EVER FUCKING MEET THAT FUCKING KELLIN QUINN I’M SERIOUSLY GOING TO GIVE HIM A FUCKING KNUCKLE SANDWHICH!” he screamed at her.

“Alex, I told you! It was fake! Nothing happened! He’s engaged with a baby! There were absolutely no feelings in it! I don’t like him like that! I love you Alex!” she told him. She hoped that he would realize what she was saying. He needed to get it through his big head that it was a fake kiss and that she only had him in her heart.

“YOU KISSED HIM EVEN THOUGH HE HAD A FUCKING KID? DO YOU HATE ME THAT FUCKING MUCH? I’M SO FUCKING SORRY THEN. YOU CAN NOW LIVE ALEX-FREE IF YOU IF HATE ME SO MUCH! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!” he yelled at her. He got off the couch and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

All Jordan could do was put her head in her hands and cry her heart out. Why hadn’t he believed her? Why couldn’t he trust her when she told him? She thought they had a stronger relationship than this. Guess she was wrong.

Jordan was still sitting on the couch crying. It had been a good hour since he had left and the tears were no longer cascading down her face like mini waterfalls, which was good. She decided that it was enough crying and that she needed to get her act together. She checked the time and realized that she had an appointment in an hour. She went over to where Alex had thrown her computer and checked to make sure that it was still working. It working but it had a little dent right next to the track pad along with a couple of scratches along the edges. She closed the top gingerly and started to get ready. She would have to tough it out during her appointments later. She couldn’t let her emotions ruin her work or else she would feel as if she wasn’t a professional.

She got to the shop with about 10 minutes before her first appointment. She said hi to Rowan and all of the other girls there. She went into the room where she always worked in and sat in her chair. She decided to call Cassandra and vent to her about what happened with Alex. She picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?” a weak voice said through the phone.

“Cass? I really need to talk,” Jordan told her best friend.

“Aww, darling. You can tell me anything,” her friend reassured her. She suddenly seemed a little stronger.

“Well, I told Alex about the article, like I should’ve and he freaked the fuck out and I-I think he broke u-up with m-me,” she said her lips starting to tremble on a few of the words. This was her first time admitting it to herself and someone else.

“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. I thought something like that happened since he stormed into my apartment and broke down,” Cassandra told her.

“Really? Do you think he’ll get over it and we might be able to get through this?” Jordan asked hopeful.

“He seemed really torn up about it, so I can’t say for sure,” Cassandra told her sadly.

“Oh, well, okay. I, uh, I gotta go. I have an appointment starting a couple minutes,” Jordan told her. She still had a good eight minutes before she was supposed to start. She really just wanted to get off of the phone. She didn’t want to hear the news that Cassandra was telling her. She wanted to believe that this was just a little bump in the road and that in a couple days she’d be back together with Alex, but she now knew that that probably wouldn’t happen. Was she happy about it? Hell no, but she would have to be.

“Okay, I’ll let you go, but you have to call me when you’re done. I need to talk to you about something,” Cassandra told her.

“Okay, bye,” Jordan pressed the red button and just sat there. Thinking about how her life went from perfect and happy to sad and depressing in a matter of hours.