This Is Torturous

“So, you're going to your parents?” I asked as I walked out of the closet, screwing the backs of my earrings on. I was fully dressed, after having a quick shower, wearing a pair of Marc Jacobs denim leggings and an oversized baggy pullover along with my favorite knee high Steve Madden boots.

John was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through Facebook on his Macbook. He looked up at me when I walked over, though. “Yes. Can you give me a ride since my truck is over there?”

I grinned and snaked my arms around his neck, leaning into his body. His arms wrapped around my waist as I responded, “Of course. We're going over there tomorrow, right?”

He let out a deep breath as he looked up at me, “Yeah, we are. We're going over to Clover's after?”

I nodded then leaned down and kissed him, “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you, too.” I smiled back down at him lovingly, “What are you going to do while I'm at my parents'?”

I broke free of his hold so he could put his boots on and I could find my purse, “Probably do some damage control at Clover's.” He stopped tugging his boots on and looked over his shoulder at me in confusion, “I guess Ryver brought a guy home with her.”

“What? What happened to Jenn?”

I shrugged as I extracted my keys and threw my bag over my shoulder, “I don't know. Clover's too freaked out to say anything, so I'm going over there to see what's up.”

John shoved his foot into his other boot then stood up, “Do you want to meet up for dinner?” He asked as we moved into the living room where he picked up his leather jacket from the back of the loveseat and pulled it on.

“Yeah, I'll text you.” I said then stopped to look at our lopsided Christmas tree, “Such an ugly tree.”

John laughed and threw his arm across the back of my shoulders, “Come on.”

After dropping John off at casa de O'Callaghan with a kiss and a promise to text him about dinner, I made my way to Clover's. It was already dark seeing as it was nearing six, but that didn't mind me. I wasn't fond of eating so late, but there wasn't really much I could do about it.

There was an awkward atmosphere in the house when I walked in. I could hear someone banging around in the kitchen and a baby squealing. Winter and Milo must have been over with Archer. This made me feel somewhat better.

Everyone was in the living room with the exception of Clover, who I presumed was the one making the racket in the kitchen.

“Sparrow!” Ryver yelled out once she spotted me. She then proceeded to jump up from her spot on the couch next to an unfamiliar man with a beard, who I guessed was Joshua, and run over to me. I was almost knocked off my feet by the force of her hug, but caught myself just in time. “I missed you, baby sister!” She exclaimed happily.

Since when did she start calling me “Baby sister”?

“I missed you, too, Ryver.” I shot Winter a wide eyed look which she responded with a shrug and a shake of her head.

“Come here, I want you to meet someone.” Ryver grabbed my hand and dragged me further into the living room.

I heard a loud bang and the sound of footsteps. Clover, then, made her appearance. Her long blonde hair was thrown up in a bun on top of her head and she looked distraught.

“Sparrow, this is Joshua.” The man stood up and not until then did I realize how lanky and tall he was. “Josh, this is my little sister, Sparrow.”

He shook my hand with a smile, “I was expecting you to be blonde.”

I chuckled, “Nope, I'm the black sheep of the family.”

He chuckled then sat back down. Ryver followed suit and sat back where she had been previously. Just then, little Archer began screaming for my attention at my feet.

“Hi there, Beautiful!” I exclaimed joyously as I picked her up. The baby, in return, smiled and chewed on her tongue. Her attention quickly moved to the necklace hanging from my neck.

I moved over to the ottoman of the loveseat and sat down on the edge. Winter nudged my back with her foot causing me to turn around. She gave me the same look I gave her a few minutes prior. In return, I mouthed “I don't know,” and turned back to the baby in my lap.

“Guys?” Ryver began just as Clover took a seat in the two seater on the other side of the coffee table, “Since you're all here, I can tell you at the same time like I wanted to.” She paused then looked back at Josh with a smile. All of our eyes fell to their hands as she took his, “We're in a relationship. We have been for six months.”

Complete silence. Complete and utter silence.

In my lap, Archer made a noise of questioning.

Winter was the first to call her out, “B-b-but wh-what happened to you being a lesbian?”

Ryver shrugged, “I guess I was bi all along.”

“What about Jenn?” I asked, cradling Archer to my chest. She was chewing on my House of Harlow necklace, but I couldn't be bothered.

“Things changed drastically when we moved to New York. She was homesick and depressed and she kept picking fights, so one day I told her that if she was so miserable then she should just move back here. She did and that was that.”

Silence again.

We all didn't know how to take the information she was giving us even though we all knew it was coming. It was different hearing her say it. Ryver had been a lesbian since high school. I had never seen her date a man before. Seeing her with this guy had me a little weirded out.

In the kitchen, a timer went off. “Dinner is served.” Clover was too eager to get out of there. “Sparrow, are you eating with us?” She asked when we all walked into the dining room attached to the kitchen.

“Uh, no. John and I are supposed to be going to dinner when he's done at his parents' house.” I saw Ryver turn to Josh and explain to him that John was my boyfriend.

“Oh, he got home today, huh?” Milo asked and I smiled.

“Yes, he did. At the buttcrack of dawn.” We were all sitting at the table now. Archer was still in my lap. Milo was to my left and Ryver to my right. Clover's husband was working late, so his seat was being filled be Clover while I took hers. I could tell she felt uncomfortable sitting next to Ryver's new boyfriend, but she really didn't have a choice.

Winter came in, then, with Archer's bottle. She handed it to her daughter then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “How was the reunion?” She asked as she sat herself down.

Everyone was dishing themselves out enchiladas from the pan in the middle of the table. I almost reached to get me one, but I didn't want to spoil my dinner with John later. Clover made excellent enchiladas for being a white girl.

“It was nice. We got our tree then came home and took a nap until two. He had been the last one to drive, so he was really tired.”

Ryver turned to Josh, “John is the lead singer in a band. They just got home from tour this morning.”

He nodded and shot me a smile, “Anything I would know?”

I shrugged, “Possibly. They're called The Maine.”

He sat in thought for a second, “Did they just release an album?”

I nodded, “On the 6th. “Pioneer.””

He nodded, “They just played one of the venues I promote.”

My eyes widened in mild shock, “Oh, really?”

He nodded again, as he chewed, “Gramercy Theater.”

I smiled, “Oh, wow. What a small world!”

“Yeah, I remember they were really good. I don't normally go to all of the shows, but I heard the new album and wanted to see what they were all about. They were really good. I couldn't believe they played their whole new album and then some. It seemed like hard work.”

Hearing him say that made me proud. I knew the boys were all hard working and hearing someone say their hard work was worth it had me grinning from ear to ear.

“So, that's what you do?” Milo asked, “You're a venue promoter?”

Josh nodded, “Yeah. I promote venues and bands. I tattoo at a few shops sometimes, too.”

All of us looked at each other, impressed. The more artsy you were, the more impressed we got.

By the time I was meeting John for dinner at In-n-Out (his choice), it was a little after seven. I had sat with my sisters and their respective others until I couldn't handle the awkwardness and begged John to meet me somewhere. I practically ran out the door when he told me he was on his way. And I almost knocked him over when I jumped in his arms, latching my legs around his waist.

“Oof.” He breathed, taken aback, catching me.

“Why did you let me go over there?!” I cried.

He laughed, wrapping his arms around my back, “I'm sorry?”

I leaned in and pecked his lips, “Hi.” I said and he smiled.

“Hello.” I let my legs go and slid down his body, standing on my own, “What happened?” He asked while he laced our fingers and began the trek into the fast food chain.

“Ryver isn't a lesbian anymore and has been in a relationship with a venue promoter slash tattoo artist for the last six months. He said you guys played one of the venues you played last week. Gramercy.”

His eyes widened as he opened the door for me, “Small world!”

“That's what I said!”

“So what happened to Jenn?”

I shrugged, “Things went south when they moved out there.” We stood patiently in line until it was time for us to order. John paid like the gentleman he was and I grabbed my cup.

As we headed for the soda fountain, he turned to me, “So, why all of a sudden did Ryver decide she isn't a lesbian anymore?” John questioned as he filled his cup with ice.

I shrugged again, “I don't know. Maybe she wanted something different?”

He snorted, waiting for me to fill my cup with iced tea, “And a penis was the “something different” she was looking for?”

I slapped in him the stomach with a laugh, “Shut up!” He laughed, taking hold of my hand.

In-n-Out wasn't that busy mostly because it was almost eight. There were couples enjoying their dinners and frantic looking women who were stressed out over Christmas, no doubt. Then there was John and I having our first meal together since he came back.

Having dinner with John was one of my favorite things to do. I enjoyed sitting there with him as we ate and talked about what our days were like.

I sat across from him, admiring his features. He still looked tired and he needed to shave. His hair was in desperate need of some T.L.C. and he somehow looked skinnier. He was playing with the receipt for our order and his knee was bouncing across from mine.

Gently, I placed my hand on his. The movement under the table stopped and his eyes lifted to meet mine, “I love you.”

He smiled and squeezed my hand affectionately, “I love you, too.”

I sighed happily, “Remember where we were this time last year? Now look at us.”

His eyebrows rose as he nodded, “Yes I do. We weren't talking as per your British douchebag boyfriend's request.”

My lip lifted in disgust at the mention of the guy who could have potentially ruined what John and I had a year later, “God, I can't believe I was ever with that guy.” I shook my head in disgust.

“And you tried to tell me you loved him.” John scoffed and I blushed.

“I never loved him. I loved you the whole time. I was just scared of those feelings.”

He smiled lovingly at me then lifted my hand to place a kiss to my knuckles, “I'm glad you manned up.”

Chuckling, I nodded, “So am I. Look at where it got us. We're living together now!”

“Yes, we are. And it's a wonderful thing that I get to enjoy my life with you.”

After getting our food, John proceeded to tell me about his time at his parents' house. We happily enjoyed each others' company while we ate. I loved having him home if only for a little while.

He would be leaving again in two and a half weeks. This time to the UK for a month. I knew 2012 was going to be a hard year when it came to him being home, but it wasn't going to make a difference to dwell on the inevitable.