This Is Torturous

The day after Christmas, all of The Maine came over to exchange gifts. It was mostly just an excuse for everyone to hang out despite the fact that they just spent three weeks together in close proximity. We rarely had everyone over at the apartment because of how small it was and the limited seating, but John desperately wanted it at our house. I think it was because the only other one in the band that had their own place was Jared (whom he shared with Lauren). The rest still lived at home and plus, we had a tree that needed to enjoy the holiday spirit.

The first to arrive was Pat and his brother (and The Maine's manager) Tim. They both greeted me with hugs and compliments on how festive the apartment looked. I thanked them and told them where to put the gifts. John made his appearance, then, emerging from our room in a pair of black jeans on the verge of ripping at the knee and a plain blue shirt. He was wearing a pair of brown oxford dress shoes on his feet, which confused me because he wasn't going anywhere.

Immediately, he greeted Tim and Pat with hugs and sat down with them. I excused myself and went back into our room to finish getting dressed, seeing as I was only in a thermal sweater and pajama pants. It was one, but I had no desire to get our of bed until John forced me when he got out of the shower.

When I returned, Garrett and Trey were sitting in the living room along with Kennedy and his girlfriend, Callie. It seemed we were waiting on Jared and Lauren.

“Hey!” Callie exclaimed with a smile as she jumped up from her spot on my oversized loveseat.

“Hey, how are you?” I asked as she hugged me.

“I'm good, happy that Kennedy is home.” She said then looked over at her boyfriend sheepishly. He gave her a small smile.

I smiled at the two, “I know what you mean.”

“Hey, Sparrow.” Kennedy greeted me as I passed by him. I bent down and hugged him before moving on to Garrett and Trey.

Finally, I sat down in John's lap to save space. His arms instinctively wrapped around my waist, securing me in place. “Hi.” He said in my ear.

I turned my head just enough so I could see him out of the corner of my eye, “Hi.” I responded, covering his hands with my own.

“You look pretty.”

I smiled, “Thank you.”

His lips pressed onto my bare shoulder thanks to the baggy, off the shoulder sweater, “You make me happy.” He said.

Where was all of this coming from? I had no clue why he was being mushy, but I wasn't complaining. “You make me happy, too, Babe.”

I felt him smile into my skin, “Good.”

Jared and Lauren showed up a few minutes later, apologizing for being late, blaming Lauren for getting a late start. They pulled up chairs from the small dining table I had, and the presents began to be distributed. It didn't seem to be on everyone's mind that we were all cramped in a small living room, in a one bedroom apartment. The new house was looking more and more appealing as the time went by, as I tried to open presents while sitting on John's lap.

In the end, I moved onto the couch between him and Pat. We were all stick thin enough to sit semi comfortably. There was so much wrapping paper everywhere, though, that I couldn't think straight enough to even be comfortable.

I had done all of the shopping for John for his bandmates' gifts. He would text me things while he was touring, asking me to go out and get them for them. I didn't have a problem at all because I had no idea what to get them and this way we could say they were from both of us. That seemed to be the way to go when you shared everything with a significant other.

For Garrett and Trey, I picked up The Smiths' vinyl box set for them since I noticed they were both on a Smiths kick as of late. They about shit themselves when they opened it. I loved watching the reactions on their faces when they opened up something they completely loved and were stoked on. I don't think I'd ever seen Garrett that excited before.

John watched on in amusement then looked at me with a smile. He wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me in close and placed a kiss to my temple, “You did good with that one, Ladybird.”

I smiled at him in return, “I knew they would love it.” John chuckled in return and went back to the gifts in front of him.

Once the presents were open and the wrapping was in trash bags off to the side, we all lounged around, talking. The boys were all going on animatedly about the gifts they had received over the holiday, but all I really wanted to do was go back to sleep. I was so tired for some reason.

With a mug of hot chocolate in my hands, I leaned against John's side as he spoke with everyone in the room. I was hardly paying attention, more concerned with not burning my tongue on the hot drink in my hands. That was until someone said my name.

“Hmm?” I looked up at Jared.

He chuckled, “I asked what you thought of the gift John got you.”

I smiled at the mention of the cards. I had read through them all while I lied in bed that morning. They were all very sweet. I couldn't handle the way he loved me sometimes. “I loved it.”

“What did Sparrow get you, Johno?” Tim asked.

John groaned, “Something way better than my stupid deck of cards.”

I slapped his chest, “Shut up! The cards were very sweet!”

He looked at me with a smirk, to which I smirked back. He addressed his friends then, “She got me this bitchin' Tom Petty box set that probably cost a fortune with how much shit was in it.” They all started talking at once about how awesome that was. I smiled to myself. “And she got me tickets to see Ryan Adams for when we get back from Europe.”

“What?!”

“Dude, no way!”

“That's so cool!”

“I'm so jealous right now!”

I laughed. Of course they would all be completely jealous. “We're driving out to LA for it.” I said, “We're staying with Nick and Sawyer.”

“Whoa, deja vu!” Garrett laughed and I rolled my eyes.

“Why is it deja vu?” Lauren questioned, cuddling into Jared's side.

“I got her tickets to see one of her favorite bands last Christmas and we stayed with Nick and Sawyer.” John said, proudly.

“Mind you, they weren't even dating at the time.” Jared said.

“They practically were, though!” Kennedy exclaimed, “I mean, they spent so much time together.”

With a scoff, I sat up straighter, “Except for the fact that I had a boyfriend.” Kennedy rolled his eyes and shot me a look. Now that I noticed, everyone was giving me almost the same look. “Okay, he was an asshole, but I still had one.” I mumbled, settling back into the couch.

John laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist, “You're so cute.”

Later that evening, after everyone gathered their stuff and went on their way, Ryder decided he would come over to exchange gifts. I wasn't really in the mood for his company, but I knew I would have to get it over with sooner or later. So while I waited for him to arrive, I got in my pajamas and washed my face.

John was lying in bed, watching one of the DVDs his boxset came with as I moved around the room. I felt his eyes on me every so often, but paid it no mind. When I walked out of the bathroom with my hair up in a messy bun, wearing a Brand New shirt I got at one of their shows when they were touring on their album “Daisy,” and a pair of pajama pants, he smiled and motioned for me.

“C'mere”

I let a small laugh pass my lips then walked over to the edge of the bed, “What?” He opened his arms for me to fall into without a word. I obliged and wrapped my arms around his waist, burrowing my face into his chest. He secured his arms around my back and held me there, against him.

“I love you.” He said quietly into my hair.

I smiled with my eyes closed, “I love you, too.” That's when I heard the front door open and Ryder's loud voice call my name.

John groaned, “Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away.”

Chuckling, I pushed myself up. He let his hands slip to my waist as he whined in protest, “You know he won't leave without checking every room.”

“You better not be having sex!” Ryder yelled from the living room.

I gave John an “I-told-you-so” look, “See?” He laughed in response and I leaned down and kissed him quickly, “I'll try to make it fast.”

He shook his head, “No need; he's your best friend, spend time with him.”

I smiled then kissed him again before moving out into the living room. Ryder was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed in a very feminine way, waiting patiently for me. There was a box sitting on the table, wrapped in Justin Bieber wrapping paper.

“What the fuck is that?” I asked in disgust, pointing at the teenager's face covering what I was assuming my gift.

“It's your present!”

“Why is Justin Bieber's face all over it?”

Ryder smirked, “You don't like it?”

I shot him a look as I sat on the loveseat, “Oh ha ha, you're so funny, Ryder! You're so hilarious!”

He laughed loudly then picked it up and shoved it into my lap, “Open it!”

Since when did he want me to open mine before he opened his? He didn't even have his in his possession, yet. What was wrong with him? Raising a suspicious eyebrow at him, I began tearing the paper away from the box. Ryder was sitting on the edge of the couch in anticipation. This only made me more curious.

Finally, I got all of the pop singer's face off of my gift and started to tear the tape off of the flaps. Inside, was a scrapbook and under that another box. I took the scrapbook out first and sat down with it, taking in the cover that had a picture of Ryder, Erika, and myself from Senior year of high school. It was one of the last pictures we ever took of the three of us.

Feeling myself getting choked up, I looked up at him. He was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to open it. When I did, I laughed. The first page had a picture of him and me from what was our first “date”. I thought he had been totally into me at the time, but now that I looked at it, he looked completely uncomfortable with the whole situation and like he wanted to go home. Across the page in his handwriting was “How we met”.

The page opposite of it had a few pictures from the beginning of mine and Erika's friendship with him. Halloween, and a few random weekends out together. At the bottom it read “The beginning”. I knew why he was excited for me to see what it was as I took in his hard work.

The rest of the scrapbook was filled with pictures of the three of us and a few other people, like Mila and a few of our ex-boyfriends (with X's on their faces). The page that got me, though, was the one that said “When it all changed”. There was a picture of the two of us at the party after Erika's funeral. He was hugging me to his chest and I was trying to smile, but was failing miserably.

The rest of the pictures were just the two of us, sometimes us with other people, like my sisters or even John. Up until the most recent picture we had taken, just a few weeks prior, with green face masks on. It was on one of the nights John was on tour and Ryder was spending the night. I had been feeling less than stellar, missing John way too much, and Ryder had decided on an at-home spa day to help me feel better.

When I shut the book, I had the biggest smile on my face. Placing it on the table, I got up and hugged him for dear life. He wrapped his arms around me and laughed. “Thank you so much, Ryder. It's so perfect. I love it so much.” I said, still hugging him tightly.

“I'm glad, but there's still more!” He exclaimed excitedly.

I pulled away and glared at him, “What is wrong with you!?”

He laughed, “I thought you deserved it this year because you're my best friend and I love you oh so much.”

I rolled my eyes playfully at him and chuckled. The box I pulled out next was a white shoebox that said “Steve Madden” on the lid. When I removed the top, I gasped at the boots that were inside. They were dark and had studs on the toe and heel. It was definitely love at first sight.

“Oh my good lord, these boots are so beautiful!” I exclaimed in shock. Immediately, I pulled them out and pulled all of the paper out so I could slip my feet into them. Ryder was laughing at my excitement, but I didn't even care. The boots fit perfectly and I couldn't get over how amazing they were. I had a shoe obsession, that's for sure, but I couldn't remember the last time I felt the way I did about a pair of shoes than with these boots.

“I saw them online and thought immediately of you and had to get them. They're totally you and I just had to.” He seemed so excited for me and the way I reacted.

“These boots are, so far, the most amazing pair of shoes I own.” I said, lifting my leg up to admire them, “And that's saying something because I own way too many pairs of shoes.”

He laughed, “Even better than the Louboutins?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Okay, those are the most amazing pair of shoes I own. These are pretty high up there, though.” I hopped up, then, with a devious smile on my face and rounded the loveseat to go back into John and my's room to get his present. I had moved it in there earlier when everyone was over, so no one would confuse it as theirs and open it.

John was in the same position as I let him when I walked in. He turned to look at me, noticing my bright, cheery mood instantly. He smiled, “What's got you so happy?” He questioned.

“These new gorgeous boots I just got from my best friend in the whole world.” I said then lifted my leg and placed my foot on the edge of the bed.

John leaned to get a good look at them and whistled, “Those are some snazzy lookin' boots, there, Girl.”

“I know. They're amazing. I love them.”

He laughed and shook his head, “You're so silly.”

I smiled at him then walked over to the dresser where Ryder's wrapped box was sitting. “Come say hi in a bit, yeah?” I suggested cheerfully.

“Of course, Ladybird.” He smiled and then I was back in the living room.

Ryder took the box from me as soon as I offered it to him. His hands ripped at the snowflake wrapping paper quickly, quicker than I had done with the Justin Bieber paper on mine. The box under the paper was torn open and he was pulling out the leather studded jacket before I knew it.

His eyes were wide, “How the fuck did you know I wanted this?”

With a roll of my eyes, I laughed, “Because I'm your best friend and I pay attention to the shit you post on the internet.”

He didn't say anything to my answer. Instead, he pulled the jacket on and snuggled into it, “Oh this is so great. I love it.” He said sincerely.

Smiling at him, I sat back down in the loveseat, not getting a chance to before he started tearing at his present, “I'm glad.”

“We both did good this year, huh?” He said with a laugh and I nodded, laughing along with him.