This Is Torturous

On New Years Eve, I had to work up until when we closed at seven. As soon as the store was locked up, I raced home to get ready for the get together happening at the 8123 offices. I had been waiting all day to go home so I could spend time with John. I had been wanting to spend every second with him for some reason that was beyond me. It wasn't like me to be clingy, but I couldn't help but want to spend every moment with him while he was home.

John was sitting on the couch with his computer in front of him on the coffee table, but I don't think he was paying it much attention because on the couch next to him was his notebook and in his lap was his acoustic guitar. He must have been working on whatever he was writing a few days prior.

When I walked in, his head lifted and he smiled at me, “Hey, Ladybird.” He said sweetly.

“Hey, Handsome.” I said, walking over to him. Leaning down, I kissed him.

“How was work?” He asked just as I straightened my back.

I shrugged, “Can't complain.” He chuckled at my response, “I'm going to go get ready. We have to be there at nine, right?”

He nodded, “Dress warmly since we'll be outside probably.” I groaned as I walked into our bedroom, hearing him laughing the whole way.

I curled my hair with my curling wand, giving me perfect spiral curls. I swear that thing was an amazing invention and a very good investment. I opted for just liquid eyeliner cat eyes and red lips for my makeup and decided to dress more comfortable than flashy. It was just all of our friends, so what was the point?

I wore a pair of faded denim skinny jeans, a black sweater with a sequined peter pan collar, a leather jacket, and a pair of spiked Jeffrey Campbell Litas, which was probably a bad idea because the backyard was mostly dirt. Realizing this, I threw a pair of moccasins in my bag just in case, despite how comfortable the heels were.

John wore black jeans and a white t-shirt that was probably too big for his skinny body. To make himself more festive and like he gave a shit, he threw on an old pair of suspenders he had lying around from Lex and Loren's wedding the year before. He looked good. I loved him in suspenders.

We arrived on time surprisingly since we always tended to lose track of time. I put my purse in a room in the back and began to mingle. The first one I saw was Garrett, so I walked up to him.

“Hey!” He said first. He was standing next to the fireplace that had a plaque of The Maine resting on the mantel.

“Hi. Are you trying to let all the single girls here know you're in a band by standing next to this ting?”

He looked up at the plaque then back at me with a small glare, “You're so funny, Sparrow!”

I smirked, “I do try.”

He chuckled, “How have you been?”

I nodded, “Pretty good.”

“How has your time with John been?” He asked then lifted the cup in his hand to his lips.

I nodded again, “Pretty great, y'know. We're fucking every night so that's awesome.” I said nonchalantly.

His face scrunched up in disgust, “Why must you tell me things I have no desire in hearing?”

I laughed, “Because I love you.”

He shook his head, “I think we have a love/hate relationship, Sparrow.”

I nodded with a laugh, “You're like the brother I never had!”

“Awesome. Can I go through your diary now and annoy the shit out of you?” He smirked.

My brow furrowed, “You already annoy the shit out of me...”

His smirk turned into a smile, “Mission accomplished.” I snorted then ruffled his hair, which really wasn't that difficult to do due to the six inch platform booties on my feet. Garrett dodged my hand, though, and glared at me, “Don't make me come after you.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, “I will cut you with my shoes.”

With a furrowed brow, he looked down at my feet, “Jesus Christ! Everyone, watch out for their ankles!” He called out causing me to laugh, “Leave it to you to wear the most ridiculous shoes ever.”

I scoffed, “You don't know shoes then.”

He smirked, “You're right, I don't. And thank God for that.”

“Sparrow!” My head snapped in the direction of where my name was being called. I saw Justin Richards rushing over to me.

“Justin!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms open. He scooped me up and crushed me into a hug, “What are you doing here?!” I asked with a wide smile.

“I came down for New Years! I haven't been here in so long, I had to.”

“I'm glad you did! Are you the only one in town visiting?”

“Nah, Nick and Sawyer are running around here somewhere.” My smile only widened.

I turned to Garrett, “Help me look for them?” I asked with pleading eyes.

Once again, his brow furrowed, “Why do I have to help you?”

“Because you're my favorite?”

He chuckled, “Well in that case...”

It didn't take long to find the small girl and her scrawny husband. I did have to stop and say “hi” to everyone I passed, though. I hadn't seen most of these people in a while, so it was nice to see everyone.

“Sawyer!” I yelled happily when I entered the kitchen and saw her gripping Nick's hand.

Her head turned to me and she instantly smiled, “Sparrow!” She yelled back before letting go of Nick's hand and running toward me. I, in return, ran for her.

“Are you guys seriously wearing the same shoes?” Garrett asked from behind us as we hugged.

We let go of each other and looked at our feet. Indeed we both were wearing Litas, except hers were the teal crocheted ones. “We have good fashion sense.” Sawyer said with a shrug.

“You're both going to break your fucking ankles.” Nick said, coming up behind us.

“Are you kidding? I can run a marathon in these shoes.” I exclaimed to which Sawyer agreed.

“Anyways,” Nick said, turning to me, “hey, Sparrow, how are you?” We hugged then, and I responded to his question with an “awesome”.

“Hey, now that you've found them, can I go?” Garrett asked and I turned to him with wide eyes.

“No! Buddy system, Gare. Buddy system.”

He rolled his eyes with a laugh, “I'm sure your buddy is John.”

At the mention of my boyfriend, I looked around the kitchen to see if he was in my vicinity, “Speaking of John, where is he?”

The three looked around just like I had, “I think he's out back talking to Jared, Tim, and Halvo.” Nick said.

I looked passed them, out the sliding glass door, and sure enough there was my boyfriend, talking to his oldest friends around the bon fire, nursing a bottle of some beer in his hand. I watched him for a moment. He had this worried look on his face that didn't sit right with me. Turning to Garrett, he noticed the look of worry on my own face.

“What?” He questioned in confusion.

“He looks off.”

Garrett's eyes shifted to John and he shrugged, “He looks perfectly fine to me. You're paranoid.”

My brow creased, “I'm going to go talk to him.” Without another word, I slid open the back door and slipped out into the crisp Arizona air. Somehow despite it only being in the low sixties during the day, it still somehow got down to low forties as soon as the sun went down.

“Hey guys, what're you talking about?” I asked as I moseyed on up to them, heels crunching under the dirt of the backyard.

“How crazy we all used to be.” Halvo answered and I rolled my eyes.

“Used to be? You guys are still crazy! I've heard stories from tour.”

They all laughed, “Hey, I'm not involved in any of those.” Tim defended.

“Neither am I.” Halvo jumped in.

John and Jared shared a look then both cracked wide grins. I shook my head with a laugh then moved to stand next to my beloved, trying to soak up some of his body heat.

“Hi.” I smiled up at him.

His arm wound around my waist, under my jacket. His fingers found their way under my sweater and rested on my bare hip. “Hi yourself.” He responded with a smile that matched mine.

“I'm cold.” I stated and he laughed.

“I know; you have goosebumps on your hip.”

“Probably from your cold fingers.”

He scrunched his face up at me, which I returned, “I love you.” He said practically out of nowhere. I smiled nonetheless.

“I love you, too.”

“And I'm leaving.” Halvo said before starting for the back door.

“He's just jealous because he's the only single one out here.” Jared said which made us all laugh.

“Speaking of, I'm going to go find Ashley.” Tim said then gave John a look I couldn't quite decipher. He was gone after that, leaving only Jared. But not for long; he quickly soon after went inside to find Lauren.

“Then there were two.” John said.

“Sorry I ruined your “bro” moment.”

John snorted, “You didn't ruin anything; I'd rather be out here with you than them.” My stomach filled with butterflies. No matter how many compliments he gave me or how often, they never failed to fill my gut up with a fluttering feeling.

We stood there, watching as the fire raised up in the sky, crackling and sparking every so often. My face was beginning to get hot and my eyes burn, but I didn't mind because I was content being there with John.

“I love you.” I said into the night.

John pulled me closer into his side then leaned down and pressed a kiss into my hair, “I love you too, Sparrow. So much.” A small smile spread across my lips. Contentment.

The rest of the night was spent having a good time. Mostly everyone was drunk, which would have irritated me had it not been New Years. I wasn't exactly an “alcohol nazi” as I had been called before in my life. I wouldn't be upset with anyone who drank. It was when people got out of hand, that's when it got irritating. People who got so inebriated they couldn't stand straight really got under my skin.

Thankfully, John didn't get like that when he was around me. I knew he did on tour, though, but as long as I didn't see it or was involved, I was fine. I was eternally grateful he didn't drink heavily around me because I probably wouldn't be able to stand him.

We were all sitting around the bon fire just before midnight. There was loud yelling and excitement over the new year, but I wasn't worried about that; all I could do was sit there on John's lap with a genuinely happy smile on my face. I'm sure his leg was hurting because I'd been sitting in his lap for the last hour or so. My butt sure was sore. We didn't really care, though.

I was looking around at our friends while John's free leg bounced around impatiently. Halvo, Austin, and Justin were all running around with sparklers in their hands. Sawyer was completely out of her mind wasted, holding a stack of “Happy New Year 2012” cone hats, putting them on anyone who wasn't wearing one. Nick was following her around, making sure she didn't get too close to the fire. Kennedy and Callie were inside, along with Tim and Ashley. Rex was sitting across the fire, talking to Jared, Lauren, and Chee. I couldn't see Garrett or Trey, so I assumed they were inside. Garrett was looking a little toasted the last time I saw him, though. I wouldn't doubt he was passed out somewhere.

I felt John press his lips into the fabric of my jacket. Looking over my shoulder, we locked eyes, “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?”

A shy smile spread across my lips, “No, you didn't.”

“Well, you do.” He said as-a-matter-of-factly, “I don't think I tell you enough. I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

My smile widened, “Where is this coming from?”

He shrugged, “I just love you.”

With another smile, I responded, “I just love you, too.”

“Sparrow!” My tiny, raven haired friend drunkenly yelled as she ran up to me, almost tripping. Nick was there in time to catch her before he ankle snapped in half, thankfully. She ignored the pain and continued over to us, “It's 11:58! And you're not wearing a hat!” She yelled dramatically before shoving the elastic under my chin and dropping the hat on my head.

I jumped in shock once she let go of the elastic, “Ow!” John, behind me, muffled a laugh into my back, “What about John?” I asked as revenge.

Sawyer looked down at her empty hands with wide eyes, “Oh, shit! I ran out!” She turned to Nick, “Babe, we need to go to the store!”

Nick laughed at his stressed out wife, “The store is closed, Babygirl.”

“But John needs a hat!” She pleaded.

“Sawyer,” John said, gaining the drunk girls attention, “I'll be fine without a hat.”

“But-”

Nick cut her off, “Come on, let's go find somewhere to stand for the countdown.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the other side of the yard.

With a smirk, I turned my head and looked at my boyfriend. He smiled at me. Leaning in, I pressed my lips to his for a short kiss, “Preview of what's to come.” I winked. He only shook his head with a soft laugh.

“Fifteen seconds!” Tim yelled as him, Ashley, Kennedy, Callie, and Trey came outside. Soon enough, everyone was yelling. “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!”

“Sparrow,” I turned back to John, only to be met with a beautiful diamond ring.

“Six! Five!”

I stared at it in shock. Finally, my eyes found his, questioning what he was doing.

“Three! Two!”

“Will you marry me?”

“One! Happy New Years!”

I didn't even hear the countdown as soon as the ring was presented to me. Everything around us had disappeared as I stared at the ring then back at him.

“Are you serious?” It was the only thing I could think to say. My mind was reeling. Was this really happening? Was John really proposing marriage to me?

John laughed, “Yes, I'm serious!”

My eyes shot between his and the ring. I was so overwhelmed, “Y-yes! God yes!” My hands cupped his face and I brought my lips to his. His arms wrapped tightly around my middle as he pulled me close to him. When we finally pulled away, I lifted my left hand so he could slip the ring on my finger. “Oh my god.” I breathed as I stared down at it.” “Oh my god.” I said again.

“What?” John asked, worried.

I looked back at him with the widest smile I'd ever had in my whole entire life, “We're engaged. We're getting married.”

He immediately relaxed and smiled just as wide as I was, “I know!”

“Oh my god.” He laughed and I pressed my lips to his again. “You are so getting laid tonight.” I said against his lips which made him laugh again.

“Did you do it?!” Halvo yelled drunkenly once John and I pulled away.

“Yes!” John yelled back.

“Wait, what's happening?” Callie asked and I shrugged indifferently.

“Oh, you know, just getting engaged and whatnot. Nothing too huge.”

Her mouth dropped in shock as did Lauren and Sawyer's from across the fire.

“No way!” They all ran over to us as soon as they could get on their feet.

“Oh my God, it's gorgeous.” Lauren said as they both inspected the ring on my finger.

I turned and looked at John again with a grin. He smiled back then laced his right hand with my right, his going over mine. We were getting married.