The Plan

“Forgiveness is how you got into trouble with—” Simone cut herself off, casting me a weary glance. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel. I glared darkly at her for a quick second and unclenched my jaw.

“We absolutely cannot compare those relationships Simone. Dillon was addicted to drugs, he was manic depressive, and he was just…horrible. Mike is none of these things,” I said as gently as I could. My ex wasn’t necessarily someone I wanted to talk about.

“I know you don’t like talking about him but, it’s true, isn’t it?”

“Fine, yes, technically it’s true. I gave him too many chances. That was only because I was pathetic and weak. He didn’t deserve the chances I gave him.”

“It was a bad comparison,” she admitted finally, sighing deeply and leaning her head on the window of the van. I wasn’t mad at her for bringing up my volatile relationship. With her hair in a messy bun and her eyes drooping slightly, I could tell so much was on her mind.

It was such a bad comparison though. Mike had made an honest mistake one time. Dillon had hurt me over and over again, intentionally. He stole from me for drug money, he lied to me about how much he loved me, and he drained my health. He was the reason I left New York, in the end. Mike was not the scum of the Earth.

“It’s not gonna get better right away,” I said softly. I saw her nod in my peripherals and then the GPS spoke, instructing me to pull off the highway. I followed it’s instructions and found myself on the exit ramp for Raleigh, North Carolina.

“I just want things to be normal again. Why are people so fucked up?” she asked quietly. My head hurt now. I’d been driving for nearly five hours straight and the entire time we’d been speaking, grappling with life’s most difficult questions.

“That’s a story for another drive ducky,” I said, letting my exhaustion out. I’d mostly been listening but for the past hour I’d been trying to soothe her nerves and worries. The plan wouldn’t work if I slacked off the night after Step One. “Oh, can you answer my phone?”

She obliged, picking up the iPhone from its place in the cup holder and answering on speaker phone. “Yo this is your pilot speaking.”

“You’re hilarious Kell, how’s Simone doing?” Andy’s voice came through. I chanced a glance over at her and she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Well, you could ask her since you’re on speaker,” I replied forcefully. The line was quiet for a moment and then he chuckled.

“You’re on speaker too.”

“Hey everyone!” I greeted cheerfully. There was a chorus of hello’s in the background, though some sounded more like grunts than anything else. “What’s up?”

“You guys are like, an hour ahead of us or something so we have spots in uh, the Big Boy Truck Stop for the night—”

“The Big Boy Truck Stop, really?”

“Yes really, I’ll text you the address for the GPS and I think the boys from A City In The Sky are out there already. Um, take me off speaker quick?” he requested. I winked at Simone and left him on speaker.

“Okay, you’re off.”

“There’s room in my bunk tonight baby, you think you can swing by?” My cheeks heated up and butterflies raided my stomach. My lips curved into a smirk as Simone covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.

“You know I’d love to boo but I’m not sure I’ll be in the neighborhood tonight,” I teased.

“I’m coming to the van as soon as we pull up,” he said seriously. I flashed my eyes wide at Simone and she shook her head, grinning. “I’m still on speaker, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, bursting into laughter. Simone giggled a few times and relief washed through me. I was glad she could laugh. “I’m probably gonna be asleep, just tap on the window okay?”

“Okay, see you soon. Bye Simone,” he said, his tone colored with embarrassment.

“Bye Andy,” she said through her giggles. “Oh my god,” she burst as I hung up, “That was hilarious, you torture that boy.”

“Only a little bit,” I agreed. She took my phone from me and entered the address into the GPS. As we drove relatively silently the short distance to the rest stop, I was glad that the tension in the van was different. Simone seemed less depressed and just more mellow.

I pulled the van next to A City In The Sky’s. The boys were standing around the front and I watched them pass a bowl around. Instead of joining them immediately, I climbed into the back of the bus and changed from my clothes to pajamas.

“Are you sleeping on the bus tonight?” I asked Simone. She shrugged, scrolling through her phone. I glanced casually at the guys smoking. Max was staring intently at me. I smiled hesitantly and he started pointing very directly at his van. I peered through the windows and noticed Mike sitting in the passenger seat, sleeping.

“Maybe you should. Mike’s with the, uh, guys…sleeping.”

Her head snapped up from her phone and she narrowed her eyes to see the same sleeping vocalist I saw. Her eyes widened and then she averted them back down to her phone. I watched her struggle to maintain a normal air.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll sleep on the bus.”

It was a completely silent 45 minute wait for the bus. Whatever tension I had relieved by embarrassing Andy was lost as soon as Simone saw Mike. I thanked whatever being’s that might live in the sky that he never woke up and that the band chose to leave us alone.

I couldn’t sleep, opting to watch Simone watch Mike. I zoned out, the light of her iPhone pulling me in. I didn’t notice the buses of the headliners pull in and I nearly leapt out of the van when I heard the quiet tap on the window behind me.

I turned, seeing Andy’s face grinning through the glass. I held up my index finger and gathered up my bags. Simone did the same and we both got out, locking the van and double checking the handles. We were supposed to stay with the merch.

I held her hand loosely in mine as we walked toward the bus. We both gave a half-hearted goodnight to the boys from A City In The Sky when we passed. Her gaze lingered on the van a moment longer than necessary.

The bus was quiet when we stepped on. The TV was the only light source, flickering over half-awake band members. I stepped quietly through their legs to the bunks. Simone threw her bag on the ground and without a word, slipped into Mike’s bunk. I bit my lip and shrugged, moving the curtain to Andy’s.

He smiled down at me and then pushed the curtain back and scooted inward, making room for me. I grinned and climbed into the cramped space. I loved sleeping in the bunk with Andy. It was always warm and comfortable and it felt a lot like home.

“How is she?” he asked, pushing hair out of my face. I settled my head on his shoulder and sighed. His fingers went under my chin and pulled my face up to look into his eyes.

“She was okay before. We talked the whole way here but I don’t know Andy, she’s really torn up about this,” I whispered.

“If anyone can fix it, you can. And Mike too, most likely, seeing as it’s his relationship.”

“Yeah, y’know, I’ve never heard of anyone fixing their own relationships before actually,” I said with sarcasm. He chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re having fun though, right?”

“Well, I’m with you so yes, I’m having fun.”