The Plan

You’d think that once you get two people into a relationship that the work would end there.

Of course, my job is never over.

“Hey babe,” Mike said, kissing Simone swiftly before walking into the kitchen. Simone had moved in with Andy and I after she dropped out of school. We’d all seen it coming. No one likes being left behind 90% of the year.

“Hi Mike, I’m great today, it was so nice of you to ask, how are you?” I chirped sarcastically from my place on the couch. Simone and I both looked like bums today, eating ice cream and flipping through the channels. I heard him snort from the kitchen.

“I’m absolutely sparkling today Kelly, thank you for asking.”

Simone and I smelled burning and she quickly raised her finger to her nose, claiming “nose goes” on who investigated. I sighed and rolled my eyes as she settled the TV on Maury. I got off the couch and ventured into the kitchen where Mike and Andy stood over the smoking toaster.

“Andy I’m gonna fucking kill you. This is the fourth toaster this month. I keep telling you that if you want breakfast that isn’t from the microwave to ask me,” I said, unplugging the appliance and removing the charred bread.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hanging his head and opening his arms for a hug. I shook my head, casting a glance at Mike and then back at the toaster, determining it dead.

Mike didn’t really approve of Andy and I. Not that we were anything. Well, I mean, we were something I just don’t know what it was. Mike didn’t pretend like we weren’t hooking up like everyone else did and he didn’t make sly jokes either. It was full blown disapproval and I harbored that.

Andy sighed and dropped his arms.

“Well, we need another toaster,” I announced when Simone entered the room. The second she entered Mike was hugging her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, and then smiling non-stop. I tried not to sulk outright.

“That’s because that slut over there doesn’t know how to cook,” she said, sticking her tongue out at Andy and clinging to her boyfriend. Andy scoffed and put his hands on his hips.

“I am most definitely not a slut,” he bristled.

“Coulda fooled me man, walking around in your underwear all the time. You really have no shame,” she joked, smiling and shaking her head. I laughed as he crossed his arms over his chest and left with a quick sigh.

“I don’t know how you live with him,” Mike said, leaning against the counter. I offered him a glass of orange juice, which he declined. Simone wrapped her arms around him and hummed in content. I jumped up onto the counter and sat with my glass of orange juice.

“Kelly keeps him preoccupied most of the time. He loves staring at her with those sad puppy dog eyes because she won’t give him the time of day,” Simone said, smirking. She never saw the way Mike narrowed his eyes at us.

“What are you talking about?” I asked casually, pulling my phone out of my sweatshirt pocket. She chuckled.

“He’s in love with you Kell, face da music girl,” she said, putting on an accent. I rolled my eyes as Andy entered, wearing a t-shirt and shorts this time.

“Who’s in love with Kelly?” he asked casually, stepping in between my legs and leaning on the counter with his back to me. I wrapped my arms around his body, casting a warning glance to Simone. She smirked but said nothing.

“Mike, what did you even come over for?” I asked, quick to change the subject.

“You’re supposedly in love with her,” Mike said to Andy, ignoring my question. In shock, Simone let go of him at the exact moment I let go of Andy. I slid from behind him, taking the bread off of the counter and emptying it onto the floor.

“Hey look at that we have no more bread. I’m gonna go get some,” I said, practically flying out of the room. Simone was on my heels and I left the apartment. She slammed the door behind me. Neither of us had on shoes and it was too cold to go outside without proper clothes.

“What the fuck was that? Your idiot boyfriend is trying to fucking kill me!”

“I have no idea why he would do that. It’s not like him to be so irrational.”

I covered my face with my hands, everything was so awkward now. I hated when people fucked around with people I liked, especially when I couldn’t even own up to the fact that I liked them. Did I like Andy? What the fuck was wrong with Mike?

For once in my life, I don’t know what the fuck is going on.