Double Trouble

Kaner and I walked back up the stairs to my apartment hand in hand, still laughing about the crazy fangirls. We stopped in front of the door, trying to regulate our breathing.
“I cannot believe that happened.” I said, finally able to speak complete sentences without needing to gasp for air.

“I can’t believe you did that to me!” He said pouting.

“Aww, is Patty-Cakes mad at me.” I said, standing up on my tippy toes to give him a little peck on the lips. He stopped pouting and grinned, bending down to give me a kiss.

“I can’t stay mad at you.” He said after pulling away. I grinned.

“I know. Now lets see if Jonathan is still alive. I don’t hear any yelling.” I opened the door and walked in and towards the kitchen. Patrick and I stopped mid-walk at the scene in front of us.

Jonathan and Alina were together, both in one piece, with no injuries on either, baking brownies together. And they were joking around like old friends.

“Oh my god.” My voice caught the attention of the two. “Patty-Cakes... Look! They haven’t killed each other, and now they’re making brownies!” I exclaimed, pointing at the two excitedly. “Wait... where are my brownies?” I asked, looking from Alina to Jonathan.

“Uh, they ended up getting burnt.” Jonathan said.

“What? How? You two were in the house! AND THERE WAS A TIMER ON THEM!” I yelled.

“IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT IF YOU HADN'T LEFT, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN BURNT!” Lina yelled back, throwing her hands up in the air

“Well you and Jonathan were arguing like an old married couple, and I’m pretty sure if Kaner and I stayed we’d be caught in the middle of it!” I yelled back at her.

“We don’t act like a married couple!” She exclaimed.

“You two do! You two were fighting like two parents about their daughter getting a boyfriend!” I retorted.

“Well, it was Jonathan’s fault anyways!” She said “He...”

“He what? Tied you up, prevented you from getting to the brownies? Kissed you?” Lina turned pink at the last one.

“OH MY GOD HE DID!” I yelled and clapped my hands. “See, you two do act like a married couple! You fight and then kiss and make up!”

“We do not act like a married couple! Get that thought out of your head!” Lina said giving me a frown.

“Wait, Taze, what about Brittany?” Kaner asked.

“Wait... Brittany... why does that sound so familar?” I asked everyone.

“She’s long gone.” Taze replied.

“Good man, she was annoying.”

“WHO THE FUCK IS BRITTANY?” I yelled, gaining all three pairs of eyes at me. “Something keeps bugging me that I’ve heard the name before.”

“Oh, she was Taze’s go to fuck buddy.” Kaner said. “She was so annoying. She was a mix of Brittany Spears during her mental breakdown phase, Paris Hilton, and Jessica Simpson during her ‘dumb’ phase with Crosby’s ass.”

“Holy shit... some girl had an ass that could be compared to Crosby?” I asked in awe. I looked down and around, trying to see my butt. “Alina turn around.” My sister complied.

“What are you doing?” Jonathan asked me.

“Trying to see if I have a nice ass... Well, Lina, we have a cute butt, but it does not compare to Crosby.” I said to her, revealing the final verdict.

“My god you are weird” Toews said with a shake of his head.

“Shut up. I’m not weird. I’m perfect. And cute. And apparently young looking. I fucking got carded last night when Lina, Abby, Laura and I went to see a movie a couple nights ago.”

“You got carded?” Kaner asked me surprised.

“Yup. Lina didn’t even get carded, but I did. And all I could think of is what is this fuckery?”

“Now that is funny. Didn’t the guys notice that you two look exactly alike?” I shrugged.

“Who knows? All I know is that everyone else thought that I was sixteen when I started asking random people what my age is. Sixteen. I hated being sixteen. It was a sucky year.” Jonathan started to laugh.

“That explains the shocked expressions of the opposite teams!” I gave him a confused look. “They see you all dressed up and stuff, probably thinking of getting into your pants, then they look at your face, and you look sixteen, and they’re like Oh shit. She’s jailbait.”

“I think that should just be your new nickname,” Lina snickered.

“Fuck you. No thanks, and technically, you look just like me.” I retorted.

“Yeah, but I am older.” I rolled my eyes.

“Stupid genes making me look younger than I am.” I muttered

“Think about it this way, when you’re 30, you’ll look like you’re in your 20s.” Patrick said, trying to make the mood better.

“So I’ll be a MILF when I’m 30?” I asked the group. Both Jonathan and Patrick choked on the soda they took a sip of.

“What? Why would you be a MILF when you’re 30?” Patrick asked, after a cough.

“Because I want a kid by the time I’m 30. And if I look younger, I’ll be a MILF.” I explained.

“You really are weird.” Jonathan said with a shake of his head.

“You really are mean.” I retorted childishly.

“Guys stop it, we don’t need another argument,” Lina said.

“You two were the ones arguing like an old married couple.” I said to my her. She reached over and smacked my arm.

“Fuck you. Not true.”

“Ouch, bitch. You slapped me. And it is totally true.” I said rubbing my arm.

“Aww, is wittle Avery hurt?” Patrick said mockingly. I punched him in the stomach, emitting a gasp from him.

“You’re mean to me too. I’m going to call Sharpie and tell him.” I said whining picking up the phone and speed dialing the older man.

“Hello?” his voice answered.

“Sharpie! The boys and Lina are being mean to me!” I whined to him.

“Aww, I’m sorry kid. Do you want me to ruff up the boys during practice?” I nodded, then realised that he couldn’t see me.

“Yes please.”

“Alright will do. Now don’t kill anyone.” He said before hanging up. I grinned and looked at the boys.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Jonathan asked me.

“You two are in trouble.” I sang as I skipped past them to the bowl and began mixing the ingredients, dipping in a finger to taste the batter. “Ok, it’s good.” I said out loud, pouring in into the pan, and placing it into the oven. I turned just to see the two boys looking at me strangely while Lina just shook her head.

“Come on, go watch TV, and I’ll make you something to eat.” She said to the boys. “Ave, you stay here and help me.” I nodded, pulling myself up to sit on the counter.

“Do we have chicken?” I asked her, jumping off and pulling open the door to the freezer. “I’m craving the chicken alfredo Daddy used to always make us.”

“I think we do. And that sounds good.” She joined me and we began gathering all the things we would need to make it. After a few minutes of chopping up and seasoning, we had everything on the stove, set to simmer.

“Oh my god. Is the food done yet? That smells amazing!” Patrick asked walking into the kitchen. We shook our heads no.

“Go and watch TV. We’ll call you when it’s done.” I answered, pushing him out of the kitchen.

“So Avery, is it official are you and Kaner dating?” Lina said eating a strawberry. I looked at her weirdly.

“I don’t know. I think so? And where did you get that strawberry from?” I replied to her, opening the fridge, trying to find the strawberries. “VICTORY! Anyways, I don’t know. He hasn’t asked me yet.”

“He will. I’m sure of it. Now, let’s get this pasta out of the water and feed the boys.” I nodded, and got the plates down from the cabinets only to be interrupted by a knock.

“BOYS COULD YOU PLEASE GET THAT!” we yelled. We heard the heavy footsteps and the door open.

“Hey guys. Where are Lina and Ave?” We could hear a familiar male voice. The footsteps grew louder until they stopped. I turned and smiled at the man standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Hey Sharpie. What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I had a feeling you two would be cooking. I came to take some for Abby, if that’s ok with you two.” He said, a light blush covering his cheeks.

“We don’t mind. Here’s some pasta.” I said handing him a tupperware filled with enough pasta to feed three people.

“And here’s some of the chicken and alfredo.” Lina said handing him a tupperware with enough sauce for the pasta. “We hope you two enjoy it. And tell Abby to take care of herself.” He nodded and gave us both a fatherly kiss on the forehead before heading back out.

“I swear, that man has a food radar. He shows up every time we cook something.” Lina nodded in agreement.

“I know, right? Jonathan, Patrick, food’s done!” She called to the boys.

“Yes! Finally!” Patrick exclaimed, grabbing a plate and piling food on it, Jonathan following him with the exact same motions.

“You’d think they’ve been starved.” I muttered to Lina as I made my plate.

“God only knows what they make at their place.” She replied quietly and began eating.

It was quiet for a bit just the sound of everyone’s silverware and chewing and all I could think about was the turn of events of today.

“Ok.. So this keeps bothering me. Are you two calling a truce, or...” I trailed off my question looking between Jonathan and Lina. They just looked at each other and shrugged.

“As long as he stays out of your love life, then I’m fine,” Lina said.

“That’s not what I asked. I asked about what’s happening between you two.” I responded.

They just looked at each other. Tazer carefully reached out and held Alina’s hand and looked at her, she smiled softly.

“We’re calling it a truce,” he said.

“For now,” she said smiling. I took a good look at the two of them and their intertwined hand.
“I’m going to take that to mean that you two are in some way, shape, or form together.” I said with a smile. Lina blushed and Taze chuckled.

“Think what you like. Now what about you and Patrick?” Jonathan asked us. I shrugged and looked at Patrick.

“We’ve established that there is some sort of feeling there, but we haven’t exactly stepped up in the ladder of relationships.” Kaner said. I blinked at Kaner in surprise, but with a soft smile on my face.

“Whoa, Patrick, where did that come from?” Lina asked him.

“I’ll have you all know that I am capable of speaking and thinking in intricate ways, but I prefer not to. It confuses everyone.” He replied with a shrug. I laughed and stood up to take my empty plate to the sink.

“Who knew that Kaner could be insightful.” Jonathan said teasingly.

“Shut up. Not like you’re any better.” Patrick retorted.

“Aww, it’s ok Patty-Cakes. I quite enjoy your insightful moments. They’re a rarity.” I said, returning and ruffling his curls.

“Did you really have to do that?” He whined. I nodded and grinned.

“Yup. And when you start growing that playoff mullet, I’m going to do much worse. Gain the ability to grow a beard already.” I said with a huff. “I like scruff.” Alina just laughed and while Taze chuckled at Patrick’s expense.

“I can grow facial hair, I just prefer to grow the mullet.” He replied crossing his arms.

“Yeah. Sure you can.” I said rolling my eyes. “The day you grow decent facial hair better be the day that mullet no longer exists. Look at Crosby. He can barely grow facial hair as well, but he doesn’t go and get a mullet to compensate for it.” I said leaning back in my seat.

“Well, sorry I’m not Mr. Golden-boy.” He said.

“Yeah. That is a shame. He has such a nice ass.” I sighed. Lina shook her head.

“That poor boy is never going to catch a break.” She said.

“Who Patrick or Crosby?” I asked her.

“Patrick. He’s stuck with you.”