I Can Love You More Than This (Harry Styles one-shot)

You stared at your phone, completely devastated and on the verge of breaking down. A tear had welled in your tear duct and slowly started progressing its way down your cheek. You couldn’t believe what you were reading, that one text message that just completely tore you to pieces. “You’re absolutely useless; this is why I fucking cheated on you. I can’t believe that you actually even bought the story that I had feelings for you, you stupid bitch. Who would ever like you? The boys told me this bet to get you in bed would be totally worth it, but you were nothing but a pain in the ass, glad to be getting rid of you.” You couldn’t believe he was doing this to you and verbally attacking you in this way. At this point, you didn’t even care much about losing him, because he was clearly a piece of shit, but you couldn’t help but believe all of the accusations he had thrown upon you.

You felt worthless, like people thought of you as the world’s biggest joke; they could take you or leave you. He was right, you were worth nothing and no one would ever fall in love with you. You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces, your mind and heart drowning in your insecurities. The tears started flowing at a regular pace and you felt yourself shaking, unable to control the involuntary movements. It was just a natural reaction because you had been crying way too hard. You sat there, his words sinking in and hitting you harder than ever, knocking you down and beating you to a pulp while you had already surrendered.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After about an hour and a half, you were able to calm your cries down to a minimum, until the tears started silently slipping every few minutes or so. You had just put Skins season two on the telly and just laid there on your bed. You just wanted to stay right there and not do anything or bother anyone. Just lay there forever, no more happiness but no more pain either. No more risks, but no more fear… no more anything. Right about now that sounded like such bliss and absolute perfection. Not having to do anything? It sounded to easy and you were craving a few moments of serenity inside your stirring head. A couple of minutes later you heard the doorbell go off, but you simply ignored it. you just wanted to stay there for so much longer, where nothing could hurt you and you couldn’t disappoint anymore. A minute later, your cellphone started to sound off. You hopped up, and scurried to the phone, in hopes it was him telling you he didn’t mean those words and that there was nothing wrong with you. But of course, it wasn’t him. It never is them, is it?

“Hello?” You responded, your voice a raspy whisper.

“Where are you? I’ve been phoning you and I’m outside,” your best friend, Harry Styles, replied.

“My phone only went off once, I’m sorry…” You reasoned, your voice trailing off.

You and Harry had been best friends for five years. He was always there to make you smile and laugh; he was always that shoulder for you to cry on. He would always offer to listen, but you didn’t fancy striking up a conversation right now, you couldn’t even think to have a proper conversation at this moment.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, sounding sincerely concerned.

“Nothing,” you answered, “I’m fine. Totally fine.”

“Don’t give me that shit, you’ve been crying, I hear it in your voice,” he answered back.

You stayed quiet, unable to think of something to say, besides wanting to apologize to him for having to deal with such a useless friend.

“Did he do something?” He asked, very softly, yet sternly, trying to not upset you.

Harry knew everything about you and could always tell when something was wrong. “It’s the look in your eyes and how you smile,” he always said. Although a cheeky boy he was, he was an amazing friend and he picked up on certain things about you. He could go around all day pretending he didn’t care, but at the end of the day, when he cared about something, he truly cared for it.

He had always been there no matter what, always providing his ears to listen, his words to soothe, and his cheekiness to make you smile again. He always knew how to make you feel better.

He heard you whimper, indicating certain sadness, and tensely said, “Let me in.”

You slowly trudged downstairs, gripping tightly onto the banister, afraid of losing your footing since your eyesight was a tad blurry at the moment. This was the first time you appreciated the stability it was providing to you.

You opened the door, tears streaming down your face, silently but fluently, and he automatically pulled you into a huge, warm hug. You gripped tight onto him, wrapping your arms around his waist, feeling his never-ending torso pressed against you, and planting your face into his chest, weeping. He securely wrapped his arms around your shoulders whispering, “Come here.” He just stood there with you, holding you tight and you gripping him right back, never wanting to let go. His hug had just made you feel that much better, already; simple but effective. “I’m here now, let’s go talk about this fucking wanker before I go beat the piss out of him myself, right now,” Harry chimed, looking down at you waiting for your eyes to lock with his. Once they did, he gave you his best smile and said, “Don’t be sad, he smells. You could do so much better.”

This made you laugh a bit, as you shut the entry way door and led him up to your room. When you got to your room, you both sat on your bed, and you showed him the horrid text message. As he read over the words your ex had sent to you, his eyes widened with disbelief and pure anger.

“What a fucking tosser! He’s nothing more than a stupid twat, needless to say, you could do much better,” Harry said, trying to console you, but you could tell he meant what he said. But you didn’t care about losing your ex, the problem here had been the awful things you had been told and how truthfully you actually believed them.

“Harry, he doesn’t mean shit to me. But just because he doesn’t mean anything to me, doesn’t mean his words didn’t hurt. I believe him. I really am worth nothing at all, I don’t even know why you stuck around. I’m nothing but a worthless twat, I’m a fuck up going nowhere,” you told him, getting all worked up and teary-eyed again.

You were so sick of crying.

“Look at me right now. Look at me,” Harry said to you, sounding as gentle as he possibly could. You looked at him.

There was a twinge of anger in his eyes, but his overall expression had displayed hurt. Why had he been hurt?

“I can’t even imagine why you’d speak that way about yourself; think so lowly of yourself. You really don’t see it… do you?” Harry asked, looking into your eyes. For that moment, you truly believed he could see right through you, hear every single thought that popped into that head of yours.

“Harry, what are you talking about? You’ve got me boggled and completely lost,” you told him, absolutely and utterly confused.

He just stared at you, longingly, into your eyes. His head had sort of crooked to the side a bit and he opened his mouth to speak, only to pause again and laugh a dry laugh, one that hadn’t been because something was humourous.

He shook his head and broke away his gaze from you and muttered, “I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out on your own. I thought I made it so obvious.”

“Harry,” you croaked, taking your hand and nudging his head to face you, “figure out what?”

“How I’m in love with you,” he finally breathed.

“How you’re what? Since when were you-”

“How fucking in love with you I am,” he interrupted. “How I’m so in love with you to the point it scares me, sometimes. I know everyone just thinks of me as that cheeky flirt, I get that because well, that’s just me. But that’s not just what I am. I’m there for you always, always trying to make you laugh and smile when you’re gutted, always talking to you and making sure you’re okay. To be honest, you’re all I think about anymore. It’s just always you. The fact this prick hurt you so bad like this, how his words sunk under your skin and actually has you fooled, makes me want to toss him into a rapid flowing river yeah. You can’t even begin to fathom and comprehend all the wonderful things I think about you. You’re beautiful, kind, smart, and lovely,” he said to you, gently stroking his hand across your cheek. “You’re not any of the things that fucking tool has got you thinking, you got that?”

You started tearing up again, ready to cry. You couldn’t handle all the things Harry had just poured to you right then and there. How he much more than fancied you and how much you meant to him.

“Please don’t cry again, then I’d have to off myself for making you cry, please don’t. You know, I don’t know if you’ve met him, but I have this one mate Zayn who’s into breaking tables, and if I make you cry, I’ll make him break my face instead,” Harry said, flashing you one of those cheeky smiles.

You laughed and replied, “Thank you, Harry. You’re one of the most sincere, brilliant, warm-hearted guys I’ve ever met.”

He smiled and wiped the couple of tears that had escaped from your eyes and onto your cheeks.

“So, you good now?” He asked, checking your face for any doubts or frets.

“Yes, I’m good. Thank you, Harry. I honestly don’t know what I would have done or what I
would do without you,” you replied, smiling at him.

“Me neither. You’d probably sit here bored all day with no friends, eating carrots by your lonesome,” he said with a very serious face. You gave him a look and he knew you meant,
“Piss off” just by your expression.

He laughed a bit and stood up. “Well, I ought to go now. Got a few things I need to go do, so I’ll see you later. Text or call me if anything.”

You couldn’t believe he was going to completely pour his heart out to you, only to walk away as if nothing had happened. Really?

“Sure thing, thanks again,” you said to him.

“Don’t mention it,” he retorted, walking away.

He exited and shut your door slowly, without even glancing at you.

You sat there on your bed a couple of seconds, trying to take in all that had just happened. Harry was in love with you, enlightened you with how much you meant to him, made a few stupid jokes, and then ran off.

This was a rather keen situation if you did say so yourself. You suddenly saw your door fly open again, Harry standing right there.

“I can’t keep walking away from you pretending it’s all dandy, I’m done doing that,” he said, as he charged at you.

He took you in his arms and began kissing you. He kissed you with such intensity that you thought you were about to faint. His hands had gone from grasping onto your cheeks, down to your waist so that he was pulling you closer and closer to him, until you guys were completely pressed together. His lips right on yours, kissing you with such want, need, and desire. You had locked your hands firmly into his curls, pushing his face closer to yours, as if you guys could be any closer.

You had talked to a couple of your friends about kissing, and many of them had told you when they kissed someone they really fancied and loved, they saw sparks ignite. You didn’t just see sparks, you saw a full blown firework show.

Fireworks of different colors, a beautiful baby blue, a soft pink, a deep red, gold, you saw them all. Bursting into colorful lights and dancing different shapes one after the other. It was absolutely breath taking, really.

Harry’s lips moved hastily from your mouth to your neck as he planted soft kisses down it, until he reached your collarbone. At first, he just moved his lips back and forth on your collar bone, but then started to kiss it, little soft and loving kisses.

Your hands still in his curls, you pulled his hair to bring his mouth back to yours and you started kissing again. His teeth now started to graze your lower lip and you felt him nibble slightly, causing you to sigh into the kiss. Then, Harry pulled away and stared down at you, hands still on your waist.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do exactly that to you. How many times I’ve stopped myself from doing what I just did,” he said to you, smiling and resting his forehead against yours.

“Well, I’m glad you finally did. And I’m glad you made me finally figure out that you’re what I’ve wanted too,” you smiled at him.

You guys just stayed like that for a minute or so, and the best part was it wasn’t even awkward. You were able to just stand there, holding each other completely quietly, and have it feel so lovely.

“So, how was the firework show, Harry?” You asked him, laughing a bit.

“It was rather beautiful, if I do say so. Definitely plan on going again, maybe even staying longer next time,” he winked at you.

Of course, he’d be the one to make jokes at a time like this, but that’s why you loved him and you laughed at it anyway.

Harry was absolutely amazing; he was a stunning guy with amazing qualities. Everyone only saw him as the funny flirt, but you knew that underneath there was so much more to him than that. He had the best heart around and he was truly sincere when he actually cared about something.

“Now, let’s get out of here. I’m going to go buy you something that will make you happy,” Harry said to you, pulling away but holding onto your hand.

“And that would be…” you said, curiously waiting for him to finish your sentence.

“A cat, because cats are nice and fun to play around with,” he said to you smirking.
You had no idea why he had been so obsessed with cats and why they made him so happy but you didn’t care, he loved you and you loved him and that’s what mattered.

“Okay,” you said, “let’s go get a cat.”

And with that, he kissed your cheek, wrapped an arm around your waist, and you set off to go buy a cat.