Something Borrowed, Something Used
Three
Your name came up in conversation today.
The minute he said it I could tell it was a slip.
Poor Seb, he didn’t know how I’d react to your name.
I shrugged
“It’s okay,“ I told him “it doesn’t hit on anything.”
It was a lie and Seb knew it, from the way I looked down into my drink, seeing my face reflected off the cranberry-ginger ale in my glass.
I’d stopped drinking when ever my heart hurt, I wasn’t going to kill myself over you, at least not that way.
I saw my unshaven face and my mob of dark hair that badly need to be cut, hanging across my forehead.
“Oh.My.God.,” Seb said as if he’d found the cure to cancer.
I knew what was coming so I told him to fuck off.
It didn’t phase him any.
“You saw him!” He accused, I shook my head and acted indifferent
“So?”
“How did he look?”
I didn’t speak because I didn’t have words
“He was wearing my belt…” Is all I could murmur…I know I sounded dumb, Seb was my friend, he could handle dumb, just not stupidity.
“What?! you saw him and 1: you didn’t tell me and 2: you can only say he was wearing your belt! I can’t-“ That’s when I snapped at him, angrily cutting him off
“What do you want me to say, Sebastian?! I saw him this week and he looked amazing and happy and carefree! How his pants fit his perfect little ass and I groveled at the site of him? I forgot the last TWO YEARS where he fucked around then disappeared without anything?? That I almost called out, I almost gave in , I almost- …”
I Could feel my chest caving in with a stabbing pain as I took a breath, I hadn’t meant to say all those things, Seb looking shocked
“Did you want my to tell you that-Did you want me to tell you that I saw the boy who broke my heart, happy and..” I broke off,
I was crying, my fists clenched, tears clinging to my cheeks…
What scared me was I was sober losing it to the full extent and not a drop of anything in me.
I wasn’t lying either.
You broke my heart.
The minute he said it I could tell it was a slip.
Poor Seb, he didn’t know how I’d react to your name.
I shrugged
“It’s okay,“ I told him “it doesn’t hit on anything.”
It was a lie and Seb knew it, from the way I looked down into my drink, seeing my face reflected off the cranberry-ginger ale in my glass.
I’d stopped drinking when ever my heart hurt, I wasn’t going to kill myself over you, at least not that way.
I saw my unshaven face and my mob of dark hair that badly need to be cut, hanging across my forehead.
“Oh.My.God.,” Seb said as if he’d found the cure to cancer.
I knew what was coming so I told him to fuck off.
It didn’t phase him any.
“You saw him!” He accused, I shook my head and acted indifferent
“So?”
“How did he look?”
I didn’t speak because I didn’t have words
“He was wearing my belt…” Is all I could murmur…I know I sounded dumb, Seb was my friend, he could handle dumb, just not stupidity.
“What?! you saw him and 1: you didn’t tell me and 2: you can only say he was wearing your belt! I can’t-“ That’s when I snapped at him, angrily cutting him off
“What do you want me to say, Sebastian?! I saw him this week and he looked amazing and happy and carefree! How his pants fit his perfect little ass and I groveled at the site of him? I forgot the last TWO YEARS where he fucked around then disappeared without anything?? That I almost called out, I almost gave in , I almost- …”
I Could feel my chest caving in with a stabbing pain as I took a breath, I hadn’t meant to say all those things, Seb looking shocked
“Did you want my to tell you that-Did you want me to tell you that I saw the boy who broke my heart, happy and..” I broke off,
I was crying, my fists clenched, tears clinging to my cheeks…
What scared me was I was sober losing it to the full extent and not a drop of anything in me.
I wasn’t lying either.
You broke my heart.
♠ ♠ ♠
The third =]Comments?