I Got Your Picture I'm Coming With You

JACK'S POV

It scared me when Lexie left. It reminded me of before. I guess I didn't realize how much it still hurt, how much I had held onto. I knew I should let go, the guys keep telling me I need to let go. But I can't. I know she's out there, somewhere, and I need to find her. How could she just leave me? Why couldn't we just try to work it out? She was everything to me, and she fucking left. Just like Lexie had, without warning, taking nothing with her. I couldn't face that again. I couldn't face being alone. At least with Lexie here, I could try to make out like Vienna hadn't left me, that a part of her was still here with me. I didn't want to feel alone, empty, afraid. I guess I did a good job covering it up on stage right? Who knew I was such a good actor.

I fell asleep that night, clutching the ultrasound, the last goodbye I had, knowing that she was out there somewhere. My daughter. she would be about three right now, right? Why wasn't I allowed to be there for her? I could be a grown up. If I wanted to. But no, the chance of fatherhood was stolen from me, and that little girl would never know I loved her, would never know me. I knew what I had done to her was absolutely terrible, but what she did to me was worse. Okay, maybe it wasn't worse, but she still hurt me. She hurt me like you wouldn't believe.

But honestly, when I did what I did, I didn't think it was that bad, I thought it would be okay, that we would be okay. I thought it was for the better. Vienna was always unstable, the doctors had told her that, I only tried to enforce what the doctors were saying. Of course looking back, I shouldn't have, I should have let Vienna have her peace, her happiness. I was such a dick. I wondered if Vienna was getting the right treatment, wherever she was. I worried about her, I really did. And I still loved her. I knew that.

I guess at least Lexie was different to Vienna in a lot of ways that I hadn't seen when I first met her.

What had I done? When did I let myself get this far? When did I let myself fall to pieces? Jack, I thought to myself, you need to get off your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Because that's all I had done for the past three years. Maybe Lexie could help me change that. I hoped she would, because I couldn't carry on like this, but I wouldn't be able to stop myself either.

Soon enough, Lexie came downstairs for breakfast. I faked a smile, but it wasn't as fake as previous ones. Because I kinda had something to smile about, looking into those eyes of hers.

Lexie was wearing another JAGK shirt...how many of those did she have? I thought it was expensive to ship to England? "Lexie, where did you get the money from to ship all those JAGK shirts to England?"

She smiled brightly at me as she dug into her pancakes. "Oh, don't worry, I don't spend THAT much on merch or your fashion labels. This is one of yours. I stole it. Shouldn't leave fresh clothes where anyone can steal them."

"Oh well that's funny, because I'm sure I left my fresh laundry on my bed. Now what would you be doing in my room, on my bed?"

Lexie let an even bigger grin form on her face. "Well that depends on what you would be doing in my room, on my bed, where I left that glamour kills shirt that you are currently wearing."

I winked at her. "Touche my friend, touche."

We ate in companionable silence, with the odd few words here and there. Until Lexie dropped a bomb shell.

"So, I was thinking my time's just about up here..."

What? No! She can't leave! No! "Wait, what do you mean? You already sick of me? Thought I was supposed to be your favourite?"

She laughed at my puppy dog expression. "No, I just wanna go travel and see a few more states, I mean, I was only staying here temporarily, remember?"

Fuck. I sighed. "Yeah, I remember."

"Cool. Well i was thinking of travelling across the states, one huge road trip, and heading to the west coast. Good old California, and Zack's gonna meet me there. I'll spend a few days chilling on the beach, and then come back here for the rest of my stuff to go back home."

Oh great, so I'd only see her to say goodbye? Well that was more than the last time I guess.

"Oh my god, you know what would be awesome?" Lexie said, excitement in her voice.

"What?" I tried to fake some form of happiness. I hoped it worked, I didn't want to rain on her parade. She was in America for the first time. She was allowed to be all excited and happy.

"IF YOU AND THE GUYS CAME WITH! Oh my god, if we could do that it would be fucking awesome! Like we'd have to stay away from attention but..."

"No! That is an awesome idea!!! I mean, if we did it quickly and we were only gone for a couple of months, that would be enough time for you to do what you want over in those states right?" She nodded. "And we could even do a few surprise shows for the fans...make it a game so they'd have to find where we were, like in that film...Nick and Norah's infinite playlist! It would be awesome! I'll call Rian, you call Alex!"

She laughed, but went to call him anyway. A few months on the road, not a tour bus, in a car, with one of the most important girls to me right now, except my mom...and sister...okay well she was definitely top five okay? Top five on my list. This would be awesome.

LEXIE'S POV

"Hey, Alex! I'm reporting for duty!" I told him when he answered the phone.

"Did you do it? Did you get him to agree?"

"Yeah, he's on the phone to Rian right now."

"Awesome, I called Rian before to let him know, so he won't be asking any questions."

"Right, sorted then. You think it'll work?"

There was a pause. "I don't know," he admitted, "but we have to try, right? I don't want to see him moping again. It's not right. he deserves to be happy. If we look hard enough, maybe it will work." I sighed. I wished I could be the one to make him happy. He really was lovable.

"I really hope you're right, Alex."

"Me too Lexie, me too." And we hung up the phone.

Roadtrip.

With All Time Low.

To find Jack's daughter.

Maybe this trip could save more than just Jack's life. Maybe it would save mine too.