Delight

She tied a black bandanna around her head. Looking around her little bedroom she felt a wave of relief. There was something soothing about her tiny living space. Maybe it was the navy blue walls covered in pictures of the people who inspired her most; her parents, family members, some famous celebrities. Among the pictures were a few of the medals she had won as a tot playing soccer. Which of course she did not do anymore for various reasons; some of which being him. The little lights she had hung around the back of her bed and curtain rod were now hanging loosely, some falling on her pillow. Her black sheets were unmade; something she also did not do often, as she did not like perfection.

Perfection is overrated. She thought. She walked over to her balcony window and looked outside. The cool October air was visible, brushing through the tree leaves and blowing various pieces of trash along the floor. The sky was gloomy; this brought a mixture of pleasure and dullness to Julie's thoughts.  Perfect for reading, cuddling and sleeping. Of course since she didn't like perfection, this was just another excuse for her to do absolutely nothing. Rain started falling from the grey skies and Julie opened her balcony window. She crawled through the narrow opening and sat on the window sill. The air had gotten colder; so cold that Julie crawled back through the opening, and grabbed a black sweater putting it over her purple camisole. She crawled back out and sat out on her balcony. The noise of the rain pounding on the faded colours of her drive way were soothing. It was a perfect moment, she didn't because she no longer liked the colour grey because of him. Anyone else would have loved this and probably would have fallen asleep. Julie was grateful for the balcony cover keeping her dry. She pulled the vibrating phone out of her pocket.
"Hello?"
Her voice was dry and raspy as she coughed out the words. There was silence on the other end followed by shallow breathing and a soft static noise.
"Julie?"
A small whisper came from the other end. Julie knew exactly who this was. Of course she did not want to admit it to herself; it would be far too perfect for her.
"Listen, I know you are confused Jules. Please, just hear me out. Can you meet me at our bridge?"
Julie did not move. She did not dare move for the fear that this perfect moment would be perfectly destroyed. She took the phone from her ear and looked at the small fading screen. It was a blocked number. Of course one would not be so stupid to use caller ID. He was far too intelligent. She got off her little black disk chair and swung her leg off the side of the balcony. She knew that there was a little space she could fit her foot perfectly without falling, but at this point there were gallons of water streaming down her face. She felt around with her foot and eventually found the little hole and slid her foot in. She swung the other foot over the balcony and held on to the railings. If she slipped, she would probably get seriously injured. She swung the other foot on to her brother’s window joining them both together. Now she was on his window sill. All she had to do was get to the side of the house. Of course she had made this trip before. It would not be the first time; but Julie was shaking, she was nervous, wet and confused. She slid down the side of the house with such a grace you would think she was professional.

When Julie hit the ground realization came to her. She started running as fast as she could to their bridge. She must be crazy, but how could she have denied that phone call. It was all so real… so perfect.

-

“Jules, listen I know you're upset” I suddenly realized what I was doing here. Our bridge, the place we once spent most of our time together. Taking pictures, talking about silly little things that we would like to do in our future together. We were so carefree. Only then did I realize that he was still talking, and unfortunately I hadn't heard much of what he was saying. I looked up, I hadn't seen this boy in almost three months. He had disappeared from my life, everyone's life. Gray was gone. My sweet, perfect Gray had been missing for almost three months, and I was seeing him right in front of me.

It was dully silent, and as I looked up Gray was staring at me with such intensity. What are you thinking? I didn't dare ask this out loud though.
“Are you okay?” Gray was still staring. Am I okay? Hadn't I just spent the last 84 days sulking around in my bed room, avoiding all forms of confrontation with anyone? Not only that but just sitting, staring at walls and pictures that no longer meant anything to me if I couldn't have him. I thought he was gone. Of course, I wasn't the only one, but I was the only one who really felt his absence. His parents had abandoned him and he had lived alone since he was seventeen, and he didn't have very many friends since we'd gotten together. He was my boyfriend, my happily ever after. Then he was gone, and I was all alone again, wondering how I was going to pick up the pieces of my shattered life. I didn't want anyone's sympathy, no, I didn't need anyone's sympathy. So I did it on my own, putting myself back together only to have them torn apart again. Hoping to get over the one that was in fact mine, I came to realize that there are plenty more fish in the sea, and that eventually I would get over Gray; but the hurt stays much longer. The feeling that there was more to the story lingered like a bad smell, slowly destroying me from the inside out. Until tonight, when I finally had answers and I wasn't listening to a word I was being told.