Capsized Erring On The Edge Of Safe

“Please Deanne, I really want to wear the yellow” I whined.

Deanne had been my professional best friend for the past seven years and was only five years older than me herself. “Now please don’t make this hard on me,” she responded softly “you know he needs you looking your very best tonight.”

By he she was of course talking about my father. He owned a fairly recognized company called Song Bird Records, and tonight was one of his annual dinners.

“Dede, if he really wants me there then he’ll take me in whatever I’m wearing.”

“Fine then wear what you want, but don’t come crying to me about how ‘disappointed’ he is in you,” she spat stomping out of my closet.

Deanne could pretend to be mad at me, I knew that she adored me the same way I adored her. See my mother passed away when I was eleven so at twelve, daddy got a nanny to turn me into a ‘lady’. She was my best friend and even though she was paid, I’m pretty sure she considered me a friend too. She would spend weekends and nights with me long after she could have gone home talking to me about school and jobs. Like tonight, her time at our house had ended two hours ago. I don’t know what I would have done without her in the years after my mom passed.

I picked up the canary yellow dress that I had fought to wear and stepped into it, pulling it up snug under my arms. I changed the straps on my bra to clear plastic ones for my strapless dress and looked in the mirror for it’s aproval. My blonde hair was boy short as always so my makeup and body were the two things that I had going for me. The yellow glared against the paleness of my skin and matched perfectly with my eye shadow and flats. Standing out is the way I liked to be, entering a room and having all eyes drift in my direction. I had a pretty big jones for drama.

When I came out of my room I darted into the kitchen before my father or his friends could see me.

“Hey dearie, what are you doing in here?”Fiona asked me.

She was Scottish and cooked for my dad and me three or four times a week when we didn’t eat out.

“Oh I was just hoping to escape ‘small talk’ for a few more minutes. So what’s for dinner?”

“For everyone else, rosemary chicken with glazed carrots. For you, peanut butter and jelly with celery sticks” Fiona replied with a grin.

“Oh thank you so much! You are a life saver” I burst out kissing her cheeks.

She knew that I was a picky eater and wasn’t a big fan of meat, though not a vegetarian.

I finally decided to make my way out into the sea of friends and coworkers in the dining room of my home. As expected, all eyes turned to the bright yellow dot in all the black and blue suits and ties.

“There’s my princess. Annie come over here” my dad called across the room of strangers.

Ugh I hated it when he called me Annie, that’s what full names were for! “Hi Daddy,” I told him in my best I don’t want to be here voice.

I laced my fingers behind his neck a planted a kiss on his cheek being a good daughter for show like Deanne taught me. He went on introducing me to the circle of mostly men standing around him, and though I nodded politely at each person, I wasn’t really paying any attention at all. In my experience I found that it really wasn’t of any use to try and remember the names of all of Dad’s coworkers and business partners. Unfortunately all the people who came to my house were always business people and never the actual bands.

Fiona scurried out of the kitchen to tell my father that dinner was ready so everyone went to find their seats around the big table and a few small tables surrounding it. At these big events there were always place cards indicating where each person was to sit. I found that Fiona had, in the goodness of her heart, placed mine near the door to the adjacent room. When she and the other people out of the kitchen came out carrying the food I mouthed her a silent ‘thank you’ for both the seating and the food as she placed my plate in front of me. I scarffed down my sandwich before the casual conversation even started and then sat back munching on my celery sticks hoping to catch snippets of interesting conversation. I should have known better. It was always a bit depressing to here the suits talking about the best way to squeeze every ounce of money out of these bands signed to them.

After about half an hour of sitting and observing the people around me I decided to make a mad dash out of there.

“Well, it’s been fun but I’m gonna bounce,” I said to the people at my table. Then I got to my feet and bolted for the door.

“Anberlin Jean!” came my father’s voice out into the hallway but he was too late because I was already half way to my room.

I pulled of my shoes as I sprinted down the hall and laughed off another great escape from the monotony. I opened my bedroom door and tossed my shoes in the direction of the closet but they hit something else on their way there.

“Ouch!” someone cried and I froze in my place.

I reached for the light switch and was prepared to yell for my dad, but before I could a man’s big hands covered my mouth.